It’s a lazy Friday afternoon at the beginning of June.
The sun tickles the walls of our living room with its bright beams… It’s been a full week since we haven’t needed heating in our old, mouldy English house. We smile and talk. Life is beautiful.
Wondering how to do more for you – my readers, my partner and I were talking about choosing a project that will help me reach more people who need help in their relationships.
As a book lover, my thought was flying towards finding the perfect book…
The perfect book doesn’t exist.
Especially if it’s about love!
But I could try…!
So, our idea was to review the best love and relationship books ever!
To make this happen I was supposed to read each one of them and advise you which one you need and which one you don’t. Does it worth the money or it’s better to go and get yourself a cup of hot chocolate?
Could I read all of the love and relationship books?
It’s the beginning of October.
The weather application continually screams “partly cloudy” from my phone’s screen. The heating is on, the cup of coffee proudly stands on my desk, and its delicious aroma tickles my nose. I just finished my first 10 best love and relationship self-help books. It’s been an incredible journey to read them…
I found these 10 love and relationship books as a suggestion from Huffington Post’ article and cannot wait to share them with you.
If you are unsure which book is the most appropriate for you, contact me, and I will be more than happy to help you make the right choice.
Read on and know that… Life is beautiful…
Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means at no additional cost for you, I will earn a commission if you click through and purchase. All of the reviews are honest and represent my own opinion on the books.
Quick Links and Table of Contents:
1. Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Grey
3. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
5. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey
6. First Comes Love, Then Comes Money – by Bethany and Scott Palmer
7. How To Talk To Anyone – 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndess
8. Getting Over Getting Mad by Jody Ford
9.The Soulmate Experience – A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationship by Mali Apple and Joe Dunn
10. Getting To I Do – The Secret of Doing Relationships by Patricia Allen
Book Overview: The Love Magnet Rules – 101 Tips of Meeting, Dating and Keeping a New Love is structured in 101 short chapters leading you in the process of finding a new love and keeping it. Each chapter is a different Rule you want to follow in order to make the relationship work.
If you are looking for a conversational type of writing in a book, the one that you almost don’t feel like reading a book but having a chat, then this is the book for you.
The Love Magnet Rules – 101 Tips for Meeting, Dating and Keeping a New Love is easy to read, easy to comprehend and easy to follow.
I like to separate the books into two categories: insightful and practical. While The Love Magnet Rules doesn’t go very deep in relationship psychology, it is efficient.
If you wonder where you could meet new people, Chad Stone gives you plenty of ideas. Moreover, you could put them into use toay, and be sure they work. Isn’t that the most important thing about a love and relationship book?
Also, it’s always better to get a book written by someone who’d “walked the talk” rather than someone else.
However, if there are downsides to this book, that’s the point of view.
While the author says the book is for both men and women, I would enjoy it more if it was divided in two. In many of the chapters, the paragraphs were marked for Women or Men to read them. It’s functional, but I would prefer reading something that’s written just for me (as a woman) instead of having to skip paragraphs.
Helpful, practical, nothing shocking, but covers the basics and above of a successful relationship. Full of ideas where to meet your perfect match (online and in real life).
Is it for you?
This book is for you if you are looking for relationship essentials, easy to comprehend advice on dating, probably after a divorce or at the beginning of your dating life. See this book as a memory-refresher how to do relationship the right way.
Book Overview: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey is a Guide for women to help them realise their worth and never back off of it. The book goes through the main points: what men’s love look like, what men want in a relationship and how women could create long term relationship (and even marriage) by simply setting up their price early enough and never backing off of it.
Who is this book for?
Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man is written for women only.
Your perfect profile as a reader of Steve Harvey’s love and relationship book would be one or more of the following:
– single lady who is struggling to recognise a decent guy
– a single mother who doesn’t know how to balance between dating a man and chasing children around the house.
– a woman in a relationship who is confused if he’s serious enough about their relationship.
– every woman who doesn’t know how to find out if he loves her.
– any woman who doesn’t understand men and the way they function…
Meant for women, the book is full not only packed with witty humour but has a realistic point of view on how a healthy relationship should be. Moreover, I felt like I was reading a massive checklist of qualities I want my man to have, as well as how to find out if he’s as serious as he claims.
It’s so easy to read. Having watched Harvey’s shows many times, it was even easier to imagine his deep voice and half-joke half-serious intonation while reading. It took me around five hours to go through the book (with the breaks).
When you need information to identify and fix a problem – the fast delivery is a pleasing bonus. You got it!
Steve doesn’t spear anything away. He tells the truth as it is. And that’s how the book captivated me.
Men and women love in different ways.
The whole hustle around finding and keeping The One is caused by the constant refusal of the women to admit that men will never love them the way they “think they should be loved”. At the same time us, women, often close our eyes in front of men’s acts of appreciation and love.
Act Like a Woman Think Like a Man will explain to you exactly why a man’s love for you will never be like your love for him… but that doesn’t make it less love.
He will show you where to look for that love; how to identify it as love and what to do to keep receiving it.
Another pain in most women’s souls is that they never seem to start a relationship with the right guy. Or in the right way.
When you think he’s into you, but he’s actually into your body, the truth sooner or later hits you, and it hurts. The worst or the best in that situation is – the signs were there from the very beginning, but you didn’t see them.
This book will get you through them and much more.
The most charming point for me was the fact that Steve talks about the kind of men that actually you and I both, want. The gentleman who will respect you and look after you. He will provide you with everything you need, and he will protect you from everything that might hurt you.
The 90 days rule!
Harvey advises you to wait around 90 days before you give your new man the most precious bonus he’s looking for – a.k.a. sex.
Probably I am not the only one to disagree with that statement. However, I disagree only with the amount of time – it is a bit too much to date a guy for three months without having an intercourse with him. It could be done, but I doubt the percentage of people is significant.
At the same time, as I’ve stated in many of my articles – I support to wait for the sex with your new partner at least a few weeks. It’s worth to see if he’s really around because you are the most fascinating person he’s ever met or it’s just for fun. In both ways – you win.
So, 90 days could be alright only if you met online and spent at least a month and a half chatting through the phones before shaking hands in person. Other than that – keep a distance but don’t miss on your own fun if you feel ready for it.
Helpful, smart, well-written in a chatty tone, not too much humour but it is present, clear sentences with firm viewpoint, convincing and engaging. I didn’t feel like he left something out or unfinished.
Would I recommend it to my blog readers?
Would I reread it someday?
Actually, it was so entertaining and fun, that I would love to go through it again soon.
Questions this book will answer
Book Overview: First Comes Love, Then Comes Money points out five different Money personalities: The Saver, The Spender, The Risk Taker, The Security Seeker and The Flyer. Each one of them has a different approach to money and different understanding thus different communication expectations. The problem occurs when the two lovebirds (you and your partner) have different money personalities. One of you likes to spend, and the other loves the sound of saved coins? The answer to your Why? is different Money Personalities. And Palmer family gives you the most efficient ways to understand each other and make it work.
Explicit language, easy to follow, no unnecessary explanations.
Loads of examples – they gave me the best perspective and helped me analyse my Money Personality better than the test in the book.
Informative and unique content which is refreshing as we all know that relationship and money books often tend to repeat each other. This won’t happen here, I promise you!
Written by professionals – Let me stress this as it’s essential – The book is written by professionals in the financial area. This is important if you need information that will help you identify your financial communication. Besides, the authors include their own experience, and it’s engaging.
Offers a map on how to deal with miscommunication and financial infidelity. Also, it has useful How to Fight Fair Guide with 8 helpful steps how to do it.
Problem-Solution layout. I like self-help books to have an action plan, don’t you? Writing out the steps to get the results I want is the most proven way that works for me. Well, you have it here.
Although I enjoyed the book a lot, I would say it felt incomplete at the end. I liked the insightfulness of the first parts, but at the end it felt a bit rushed. The Money Huddle explained as a way to communicate healthily about finances, is very practical but takes just a small part of the book.
Also, I needed more information on the Money Personalities as well. I had troubles identifying my Money Personality. Although later on, in the examples I had my answers, the Money Personality Test could be improved.
Well written and engaging, First Comes Love, Then Comes Money is a book about your relationship and not about your money.
Although it did give me the wrong expression before I read it, this book is not going to provide you 1-2-3-Step Guide how to deal with your financies.
Bethany and Scott Palmer’s book is about financial infidelity. This reduces the circle of people who can benefit the most from reading it.
If your partner hides money from you; if you don’t tell your spouse about your last shopping marathon; if one of you buy or pay for something the other didn’t give consent about – it’s financial infidelity. And it causes more divorces in the US (and not only) than you can imagine.
The book aims to teach you how to deal with financial infidelity and not enter the ugly statistics. But it has a different approach which I liked very much. Let me just quote them here: “… Your money problems aren’t about money; they are about financial miscommunication” Let me translate it one more time: You don’t have financial problems, you have communication problems.
As a conclusion,
You want this book if you are in a long-term relationship/marriage and often fight over money. This book will put an end of the fights as it will give you the clarity you miss right now. It will offer you the steps to honest communication. However, if you decide to give this book a try, be aware you and your partner have to work together on sorting the problem out. This is not the one-side-fixes-everything type of book.
Book Overview: The book is divided into nine parts and each one of them is full of different ideas, tips and tricks how to communicate in the right way. Starting with how to smile, what to say after Hi, how to talk like a VIP, fit in any group, give compliments in a way they’ll make the recipient feel special, get closer to promotion at work, etc. It covers every little type of conversation you might have one day in the outside world…
Before I get to the review and the Pros and Cons…
How To Talk To Anyone – 92 Little Tricks for Success in Relationships, claims to be a modernised version of Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Does that happen?
Moreover, what a book like that is doing in a list of books for love?
Will it help you understand and straighten your relationship?
I’ve read Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People more than five times. There’s a reason it’s a classic – it puts you on the right path to communicate with people and explains in the most understandable way why they’ll love you for it. It’s easy to read and even easier to practice. I will always recommend it to anyone that needs genuine and kind advice about communication. Dale Carnegie was a master in his fields and in many ways he still is.
Would I recommend How to talk to anyone – 92 little tricks for big success in relationships over Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People?
Hmm, most likely not.
You could read both of them, but Dale’s book is still in the top position.
However, I have to agree with Leil Lowndess when she says that Dale’s book was written in the 20th century and we are in the 21st century. Our ways to communicate with each other changed so much during the last 60 years that it is more than necessary to search for ”the latest manual” on it.
Leil aims to give you precisely that – a helpful manual on how to react in almost any situation you might struggle with, how to make people feel special around you, how to make them remember you and how to get the maximum out of every situation.
What’s the deal with love?
It’s so simple – love is mainly interaction with the other.
It’s a constant verbal and nonverbal communication between you and your partner, from the very first moment your eyes meet. In fact, I bet you will find you already use at least a few of the techniques Leil offers.
It was nice to read a book and nod with the head telling yourself “I got it right… and I didn’t even know it.”
One of my favourite techniques I didn’t know I use, is at the very beginning – the way we smile to other people. Leil calls it “The Flooding Smile”. It tells people “I smile just for you”. It’s so simple – make eye contact with the other, wait for just a second and then smile at him. We’ve all been “a victim” of a small like that, and we all felt special.
My second favourite tip from the book is the advice to treat people like big babies.
Yeah, I know, you just smiled slightly, didn’t you?
However, Leil explains precisely why you should do it, and one of the main reasons is that we treat babies with full attention, we smile, we try to get to their level and make them understand us. Even better – we do our best to follow them as well.
What a better way to communicate with grownups as well?
The people I would really recommend it to, here on our blog, are the singles.
You, my friends, need to go through the rough path of meeting someone, making the best first impression, showing affection, pulling the attention back to you or your date, making them feel special, helping them like you as much as you like them…
How to Talk to Anyone – 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships is for you rather than the people in a relationship.
It gives you ideas how to introduce yourself to someone you don’t know.
It helps you make the best first impression.
It gives you tips on how to compliment people without looking manipulative or too flirty.
Ever felt the agony of dying conversation? Yep, How to talk to anyone gives you more than a few ways to avoid it.
Unfortunately, How To Talk To Anyone… didn’t meet my high expectations. It is useful for single people, but only partially.
Most of the helpful tricks are in the first and the second part of the book.
It is more beneficial if you need advice on dealing with business relationships.
Following that, I think it would have been better if the 92 tips were split into two sections – one for business relationships and one for personal/family relationships. In that way, the readers could really focus on the part they need.
It’s a little bit hard to read, the language could’ve been simplified, and in that way, the eyes would just fly through the rows…
Many of the tips were obvious and needn’t be listed.
On the one hand, many useful and practical tips will definitely help you go through your everyday situations and meetings. On the other hand – you will stumble upon some pointless pages full of anecdotes you could live without.
Would I recommend you to go through it so you could expand your communication skills?
Would I go through it again someday?
Most likely no!
- Fast but not necessary easy read – Each chapter will make you question yourself and explore the ways you express your anger. The way you do this is the going to determinate the end of any argument more than the reason for the argument itself. Therefore, it’s not easy to read this book as it will challenge you to think and be criticise yourself. Can you do it with an open heart?
- Vivid, rich language – I read all of the 10 books I review in this post and let me be honest – Judy Ford has the richest vocabulary and describes vivid pictures that stick with you. It makes the reading such a pleasure.
- Short chapters
- Helpful because it shows you many different techniques and ways to approach every matter.
- If you struggle with the most popular techniques how to deal with anger, let me tell you – none of them is here. Such a relief!
- Although there were many real-life stories in the book, almost none of them had a full closure.
I enjoy reading real-life stories when going through a self-help book. It helps me picture the situation better. However, none of the stories went beyond the problem-description-point. I felt like the ending (happy or not) would be much more beneficial as it helps the technique to stick in my mind.
Book Overview: The Soulmate Experience is about finding yourself in your own world. It’s about creating a soulmate connection with yourself first, meeting your own needs, eliminating self-doubt, exploring and encouraging your self-esteem, letting go of your past and appreciating your partner the way he is – accepting him, the greatest and the not-so-great about him.
I could go on with the quotes from this book, and even if I write the next 1000 words of this review in quotes, I still won’t be able to cover even 1% of the best insights of The Soulmate Experience…
And this book is exactly this – an experience you have to go through.
Deep, thoughtful in-debth read, clear self-awareness-booster, soul-touching and awakening.
The Soulmate Experience will take your hand and lead you through places inside of you that you didn’t know to exist. I’m not exaggerating.
In 12 chapters this book might not change your current situation right away, but it will change You and You will change your life.
Many books will ask you to say or do something that will manipulate in one way or another your partner. I couldn’t find even one example of that in The Soulmate Experience. Simply put, this book is more about you than your soulmate (present or future).
The authors talk a lot about expectations. They always come around when we talk about the relationship, and we all know that we should have realistic expectations about our partners. However, the idea in The Soulmate Experience is to teach ourselves not to have any expectations.
Beautifully explained in the book, expectations will set your mood and energy on a different level, no matter if they are realistic or not.
The beauty of a soulmate connection is that everything comes as it is and we enjoy it as it is. Nothing more and nothing less.
And yet, no one is perfect. We will probably never approach the ideal selfless, no-expectations, self-aware human being we wish we were, but one step at a time is always the best way to go for. Maybe this is the only downside of the book – the fact that says how high we should aim for too well. Inspiring! The path is there, you just have to step on it. Will you?
From all of the 10 books I read about this review, this was the book I took the most notes on. The authors rich, touching thoughts engaged me as a reader so much that I actually purchased the second book – The Soulmate Lover.
I strongly recommend you read The Soulmate Experience now and enrich your inner world, go a few pages closer to the person you want to become, this book will help you get there.
Book Overview: Divided into four parts, Getting To I Do aims to help women understand what feminine and masculine energy is, to chose one of them as a dominant energy in the relationship and to learn how to behave according to it. It gives tips on how to attract a man, to flirt charmingly and successfully, finding the perfect match and going through the four seasons of love (explained in the book). Dr Allen creates a guide on how to get to the engagement ring or get married within a year after you started the relationship.
Plenty of examples, advice on different situations and thoughtful explanation.
Dr Pat goes through every single rock that could turn the relationship upside down – who makes more money, who does the housework, how to respect our partner, etc.
The book is based on years of research, practice and packed with real-life stories in it.
I really enjoyed that she stresses on the fact a woman should hold her ground, keep her self-esteem on a high level and never give up her beliefs (Something Steve Harvey does in his book – Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man as we saw earlier). Unfortunately, nowadays I see way too many examples of girls/women that do everything and anything for someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Completely agree with her suggestions on how to deal with arguments without losing yourself into the emotions.
The book challenges my knowledge of how to start a successful relationship and at the same time explained why so many relationships from my past didn’t work.
Excellent and detailed description of the different types of men every woman should avoid.
Psychological explanations on how parent-child relationship affects us later when we chose our partners.
Helpful quiz to find out if your dominant energy is male, female or you go into the narcissistic field.
Very often I had to remind myself that the book was written for the people in the 90s. This is why in places sounded a old-fashioned and outdated. However, this is a tiny percentage of the book.
Too many “musts” in the book – At some point, it felted like “there’s no other way, and you don’t have a choice”… which is close to the truth. However, this feels too pushy.
It could mislead you that the woman’s (feminine’s) task is to stay home and make sure she agrees with everything the male’s energy suggests. However, that’s not the case at all, that is why the book should be read slowly and to give yourself time to fully understand what it means.
I disagree with the statement that the couple should start living together only after the engagement or the wedding. Actually, I strongly support the idea of “giving it a go” before the engagement as just when you spend a 24/7 time with someone you could really understand how you feel around them.
Some of the suggestions are not applicable nowadays. However, it does not take away from the beauty of the book.
At first, I thought this book would be just another “Get Him” book, full of tricks on how to catch the poor guy to ask you to marry him.
However, “Getting To I Do” by Pat Allen is closer to the psychology of how to create a balanced relationship based mostly on our conscious choices of “the leader” and “the follower”. (don’t freak out)
Dr Patricia Allen suggests that to be balanced, a relationship should contain the female and the male energy, and this does not require the woman to be the female energy, nor the man – the masculine energy. In the beginning, it sounds a bit strange. I will admit that after the first 20 pages my feminist side felt challenged, but I kept reading.
I’m glad I did
After all, a good relationship and communication are based on taking decisions rather than proving the other is wrong, and we are right. And while this is true, I especially liked the way Dr Allen explains the male and the female role in the relationship through the book.
With that said…
Some parts of the book were beliefs that don’t match everyone’s way nowadays. But don’t get discouraged as this is a must-read for anyone. In a time when we rush into relationships (sexual and non-sexual), we tend to forget that creating sustainable, beautiful, romantic and full of trust relationship, takes time. Yes, it does take time.
So…Getting To “I Do”
Thoughtful, supported by facts and an argumentative book that every woman should read.
Don’t give up after the first 20-25 pages as some of the statements will challenge and disturb you. Read on as there are plenty of treasures hidden in the book. I would recommend going through with a highlighter or a pen so you could create bullet points to pay attention to. I also recommend going twice through “Getting To I Do” for fully understanding of its ideas.
Personal note: It’s funny how my partner and I blindly went through the first year of our relationship – both recovering from a painful past. And yet, somehow, we had followed the 4 stages of this book (with small exceptions), including getting engaged before the first year ended. I am the female energy in the relationships and definitely follow my partner’s lead. However, I have a strong personality, and I am very stubborn, which is something I love he understands and accepts. Yes, going through the relationship in the way from “Getting To I Do” is entirely possible and it does lead to commitment and happiness.