Archive For The “Dating Problems” Category

“Is She Using Me?” Q & A 10 Signs She’s Using You

Behaviour that should whisper “She’s using you!” in your ear

If you asked yourself the question “Is she using me?” more than twice this week, I don’t really have to know much more about your relationship. Yes, my friend, she is using you, and I can show you how.

I’ve got ten proofs she’s using you, and you can see it today. However, if you have a question, I didn’t answer in this article, you can always fill the contact form, and I will get back to you asap. Oh, and if you liked this article, subscribe to our blog, so you can get more insights how to maintain a healthy relationship

…or how to recognise an unhealthy one. Because if she’s using you, there’s nothing healthy in what’s happening around you two.

Be aware!

When a man asks himself if a woman uses him, he often refers to the material part of life – money, car, holidays, dinners… However, not every woman will use you to buy her expensive jewellery. Some women can actually use you emotionally, and you don’t even realise it. But while money can be quickly earned, emotions are hard to overcome. If she’s using you emotionally, it will hurt more. Therefore, as early you answer “Is she using me?” as better for your heart.

“Is she using me if she’s a bit distanced?”

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Distance in a relationship is normal at the beginning. Just because you kissed each other, it doesn’t mean she’ll share all of her secrets with you. But if she’s like the Ice Queen around you, and you feel like you have to earn her smile, then something’s wrong. This might be a very hard-to-recognise sign of manipulation. And she manipulates you because she needs you for something. Manipulation is woman’s best friend when she needs you to do something for her.

When a woman’s too distant, but she still claims she’s into you then she’s probably trying to use you for something. Look around and see what she often refers to, when you ask her why she’s a bit distant. If she always points out the same reason and leaves an open door for you to fix her problem, she’s using you.

Related post: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND LOVE

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“I never seem to say or do the right things. Is that a sign she’s using me?”

It’s true that women often like to hear specific things, and like to be treated in a specific way. However, the beauty of real love is the way the other let you express yourself, your feelings, your thought, in the way you want.

If you feel like she’s never happy with what you say or do, it is a sign she’s using you. How to know it for sure?

Some women will never be happy with you because they see that if you feel guilty about the way you express yourself, they gain something. It might be a dinner out, weekend for two somewhere, helping her with a personal matter, etc. If that’s your case – run, she’s using you.

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Related post: ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP? ONLY ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF

“I always listen to her and her problems, but when I talk about mine, it’s like she’s doesn’t even hear me. Is she using me?”

You’re on the right track! She may not want you to buy her expensive things, or take her out for dinners. But she needs you because you listen to her four-hours speech about her daddy issues, how much her boss hates her, and why her BFF is never there for her when she needs her the most.

Yep, you got the point here, right? She needs someone to listen to her constantly. Probably her friends are tired of her nagging and pessimistic vision of life, so she’s looking for someone to replace them.

At the beginning you will think you finally met someone that’s not afraid to open up to you, at the time, you’ll realise the conversations with her are always about her. You never get the chance to discuss your day, experiences, problems, unless they’re connected to her.

That’s a very hidden sign she’s using you emotionally, so keep it in mind.

“She’s always so into my work and what I do, that it feels weird. Is she using me?”

If she’s more interested in what you do than who you are, she’s definitely on a mission for something, and it’s not your heart.

The reason she could ask you many questions about what you do could be because you work something she’s familiar with. However, if her interest has nothing to do with her hobby, something smells there.

She’s probably trying to find out if you make lots of money, or if you could help her grow at her workplace (if it’s related). Keep your eyes open if her questions about your job are more than the questions about you.

Related post: 10 SIGNS OF DISRESPECT IN A RELATIONSHIP TO NEVER IGNORE

“She always prefers to go out instead of staying in. She says it because she’s extrovert, but I don’t think it’s complete truth.”

And you’re right! Extroverts like to go out, but they’re are just as normal human beings as the introverts.  Her problem is not that she needs to be among many people. Her problem is she a) she has no money to go out by herself, or b) she likes you more when she doesn’t have to talk to you.

I know it’s harsh, but every couple has moments when they prefer to stay alone, enjoy and get to know each other. If your “together” moments are always out, with other people, she’s using for something.

If you are the one that always pays, she’s using you for money. Next time you decide to go out together, ask her if she’ll be alright to cover the expenses as you’re a bit short on money this week. If every time you were the ATM of the evening, she should be more than alright to take the role for once. If she does it, then see if she’s a bit cold toward you, or she keeps distance. That will tell you if she’s using you.

However, she might not use you only for money if she always insists on going out instead of staying in. If you know people she wants to meet, or you’re popular in your area, she could use you to show off. Unfortunately, it happens often.

Related post: WHY LOVE HURTS? A DIFFERENT ANSWER

“I feel like a Supermen with her but in the wrong way. It’s like she always needs me for something even if it’s not for money. Is she using me?”

shes-using-you-proofs (1)She is using you. Of course, a healthy relationship is based not only on excellent communication but on the fact you can trust the other will help you when you’re in need. But if she always needs something – to give her a ride, to fix her car, washing machine, coffee machine, etc. … well, you feel used, don’t you?

Those type of constant need of help is unhealthy. She uses you to complete the tasks she doesn’t want to complete, and that’s not nice. We are all adults and should be able to handle our lives before we start sharing them with others. Although to people should help each other, when you’re filling your time fixing and doing things instead of her, something’s not quite right.

Related post: 7 SIGNS OF MANIPULATION IN A RELATIONSHIP

“She doesn’t get along with my friends and family. That’s disturbing, I know, but is it a sign she uses me for something?”

People around you (friends and family) will always wish you the best. They want you to be with someone that will appreciate you and love you the way they do. While you might be a bit distracted by your feelings for her, they are not. Therefore, it’s easy for them to spot dishonesty in the girl you date. Guess what, she knows it!

A girl who wants to have you in her life and to be part of yours will always want to see and get to know your friends and family. And I say this as a woman who’s been on the other side – we always want to fit and connect with people around the person we care about.

So, you already know the answer why she doesn’t get along with your friends – she doesn’t want them to see she’s actually using you for something.

Related post: HOW TO FIGHT FAIR IN A RELATIONSHIP

“How is it possible to find out if she’s using me if she’s never with me. She spends more time with her friends than me.”

She’s not serious about your relationship; ergo the girl you date is using you. If she calls you only when she’s out of options for the evening, or when she’s in a “sexy mood” then she’s using you. You might as well enjoy the no-strings-attached situation because you’re in one of them.

“We are together for a while now, but I still feel like I don’t know her. What could be the reason for that? Is she using me?”

One of the reasons this girl’s still a bit stranger to you is because she doesn’t want to let you in her personal life and space. Even if she was hurt in the past, every relationship has to be a new beginning with hope and trust for something better.

If after weeks and months of dating, you cannot find out what type of person you date, it’s because she hides it. She’s actively using you for something, and you don’t see it. Have a look around and try to follow the logic, not the feelings. I know it might hurt, but better now than later.

“Every time something doesn’t happen her way she goes crazy. I don’t understand why is all the drama…Is she using me?”

Women…! We are not very hard to understand, but we could be hard to comprehend when we want.

Going crazy over small things she didn’t get you to do for her, picking on you for every single time you didn’t please her in some way is a smile manipulation, my friend. And following the logic from above – manipulation comes with one purpose – to use you.

The best way to find out if she’s playing with you is just not to do what she wants you to do. If you made your choice in a particular situation and believed that’s the best for you two, then stick with it. Try to talk over it, see her point of view and if you’re still not OK going her way, don’t. We all have the right to chose, and no one should take it way. That means you cannot take her choice away as well.

If she’s always emotional there’s nothing wrong, but it’s not easy to live with Drama Queen and chances are – she’s using you.

Have a question regarding “Is she using me?” Q & A or other relationship/dating problem? Feel the contact form here.

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How To Answer to the Mixed Signals From a Guy You Like

Your problems and my solutions on how to deal with mixed signals from a guy you like

 

Katy and John were introduced to each other by their friends. It was Saturday night, in the local club. Katy felt the attraction the moment she saw John. He was tall, fun and obviously the Alfa of the group. They danced, laughed, became friends on Facebook and started chatting on the very next day.

Related post: HOW TO ATTRACT THE MAN YOU LIKE

John kept talking about how they have to go out on a date one day, but he was too busy to find a free day. They saw each other again one week later, in the same club, with the same people around them. Everything was amazing, they had lots of fun and talked about going out on a date. Again.

But nothing happened. Again.

Although it was clear he likes her and she likes him, Katy felt a bit weird about the situation. They were chatting, showing affection every time they saw each other, he was texting her often, but nothing was moving forward. After few weeks of club-dating, they had sex and Katy thought that was it – they are finally together, officially.

Sadly, that was only in her head.

He didn’t have any time to go on dates, but he was assuring her he needs a good girl like her in his life and he’s happy he met her.

He was happy he met her, but their next three dates were again in the club, with the whole group around them, not alone, as she imagined it should be at the beginning… So she didn’t know what’s going on, what his feelings were, and why what he says and what he does didn’t match.

Does that story sound familiar to you? Add or remove few aspects, but this is classic “he’s using you” story, full of “mixed signals from a guy you like”. Katy read his intentions wrong, John gave her false mixed signals, and no one was happy at the end of it.

Related Post: 11 TOXIC TYPES OF GUYS YOU SHOULD AVOID NO MATTER WHAT

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Here, at Doctor For Love, I try to give you the simplest small truths about love, how to find it and realise it is love; how to keep it and how to embrace it. If you like this article make sure you subscribe to us when you see the chance to do it.

So, let’s talk about mixed signals from a guy you like and what to do about them.

 

  • How do the “mixed signals from a guy you like” look like? The short version of how it should be…
  • You are more than capable of sending him away but how to be sure you’re not missing out on a chance of a fulfilling relationship?
  • You’re in a dilemma if he’s worth the game or you should proceed with your life.
  • You are unsure how to end this and keep the good vibes between the two of you.
  • What if his mixed signals are mixed only to you? What if he just doesn’t know how to show his feelings?
  • What if you are the one that sends the mixed signals? Have you thought of that option?
  • Are those “just friends” signals? You are not sure if he likes you or he’s

How do the “mixed signals from a guy you like” look like? The short version of how it should be.

 

guy you like mixed signalsWell, you saw some of the mixed signals you could get from the guy you fancy. Let’s add a few more:

  • He texts you but then he doesn’t answer after you reply? For hours…
  • Is he going hot and cold with you since like forever?
  • He’s telling you he’s not ready for a relationship but yet, he flirts with you?
  • He saw you’re moving your attention toward someone else and immediately started flirting again with you…
  • He tells you he doesn’t feel like having a relationship now but maybe…

Yep, if you recognised yourself into one or more of those situations – you are in a situation with mixed signals from a guy you like. Welcome, and I hope you don’t stick around for too long…

The fact you’re reading this article tells me you care about this guy and you wonder what to do.

Should you just send him home to grow up and come back when he’s man enough to admit his true intentions?

Should you keep the game going until one of you gets tired?

Should you confront and ask him what is it that he wants from you?

The simple truth:

He’s giving you mixed signals because he’s just not into you the way you want him to be

 

Need proofs?

Example 1 He knows you want a relationship, but he’s not into that. Still, he likes you physically and knows if he admits it, he won’t get anything. That’s why he sends you mixed signals to create the illusion of a possible relationship. That was the case with Katy and John.

Example 2 Although he’s telling you he’s not ready for a relationship, he’s still flirting with you, and he’s more than happy going forward if you offer warm bed tonight. He probably has few other “options” around him, and he’s running a contest.

Example 3 He didn’t text you for weeks, and now he did. You answered, and he didn’t reply for the next few hours or so. He’s trying his options. He wants to know if you’re still available.

Example 4 The moment you turned toward someone else he decided he’s going to flirt with you again? No, he didn’t realise how amazing you are after he lost you. He just likes the challenge to win you back. Believe me; there’s nothing personal there.

Related Post: FIRST DATE ESSENTIAL TIPS IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP

Did you notice the pattern? There’s similarity in every example.

 

mixed signals man you likeYou and he want different things. Unlike you, he knows that, and that’s the reason he prefers to confuse you until he gets what he needs.

It’s really simple with how the things could go without mixed signals. Here’s the short version:

Boy likes a girl. Girl likes a boy. They show it to each other, and they go on a date. After the date, the girl still likes the boy, and the boy still likes the girl. They are going forward with another date, and if everything is still mutual at some point, they start a relationship.

The more extended version is to understand that you have worth and you know it, right? Assuming you said yes to that, take a moment to think if you’re worthy and he knows it, would he give you mixed signals?

Isn’t it more logical to just not miss his chance with you while he still has it?

Moreover, if he’s worthy, would he give you mixed signals, or he’ll do what has to be done to make it clear?

I mean, really, we live in the 21st century, the era of the technology, the open mind, the open relationships, the open communication… How about to go toward open feelings as well?

When exactly messing around with someone’s mind and sending mixed signals became acceptable and something we should spend hours thinking about it, Google it, asking friends what to do and how to read those signals…

when you already know the answer…

He’s just not into you the way you want him to!

mixed signals datingYou’ve had relationships before. You know when someone likes you he should do something about it.

Related Post: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND LOVE

You are more than capable of sending him away but how to be sure you’re not missing out on a chance of a fulfilling relationship?

 

Well, sending him away makes you miss out on another month or so of mixed signals and few hours weekly spent to decode his every action.

By not sending him away you’re missing out on a chance to meet someone who knows he wants a relationship. So when you give him your phone number, he won’t use it once a week just to check “how’s it going ;p”.

You’re in a dilemma if he’s worth the game or you should proceed with your life.

 

If you are aware, all this is a game, and you enjoy it – go on. At least now both of you are having fun. Use the opportunity to sharpen your flirting skills, enjoy it and don’t take it seriously.

You are unsure how to end this and keep the good vibes between the two of you.

 

Well, let me be honest with you. You cannot keep the good vibes unless you play the game. But no one said you should be rude and tell him it’s time to grow up. He’ll get the hint sooner or later. All you have to do is to just put him into the friend zone with one or two sentences, and this will cool him down.

mixed signals couples dating

Here you are – two examples how to deal with the mixed signals from a guy you like when you want to put him in his place with a smile.

“I’m very happy I’ve got a friend like you always to make me laugh. Thank you.”  will tell him that you don’t think of him as a dating/relationship/sex option.

“You’re an amazing guy. Let’s find you a decent girl to date.” is another cold shower that will tell him he doesn’t have a chance with you anymore.

Relates Post: 12 BIGGEST TURN OFFS FOR GUYS

Mixed signals from a guy you like that are exceptions to the rules…

 

What if his mixed signals are mixed only to you? What if he just doesn’t know how to show his feelings?

 

There’s a difference between a guy that openly flirts with you and goes no further and a guy that throws some shy sentences here and there, and you’re getting mad he doesn’t go further.

Yes, some guys are shy. Just because he’s a man, it doesn’t automatically make him a confident flirting machine to convince girls to go out with him.

Very often good guy tries to show his affection toward a girl, but he doesn’t go all the way and leaves her wondering what’s going on.

Solution:

You could look at his body language.

mixed signals problems datingHe may get a bit more nervous when he talks to you. He may even speak less to you, but yet, he’s always watching you. To find out more, try to have a small chat with him, just the two of you, or open a conversation in one of the social media. Send him something funny on Messenger and see how it will proceed. When he doesn’t look into your eyes, it may be easier for him to open himself and to show you the affection you think you see.

What if you are the one that sends the mixed signals? Have you thought of that option?

 

I bet you didn’t. Too often women believe we sent the right message to the men we like (yes, me including), only to find out we were misunderstood. And it happens not only with someone we’ve just met but after that, in our relationships as well.

If you feel shy to show affection but getting frustrated by his “hot and cold” attitude, revise your actions. It could be you the one that plays the game.

Be more clear about the feelings you’ve got. Smile at him more, talk to him a little bit more. That would encourage him to make the step and ask you out.

Related Post: WHY MEN PULL AWAY AT THE EARLY STAGES OF THE RELATIONSHIP

Are those “just friends” signals? You are not sure if he likes you or not.

 

Yep, “just friends” signals exist. And they are not signals the other sends but a behaviour you interpreted wrong. So after all, those mixed signals from a guy you like might not be present at all.

Some guys are very polite with women. They show attention, listen to them and want to help. They are gentlemen and women around them love the way they’re treated. But all that doesn’t make him into you, nor his actions are mixed signals.

You think and probably feel flattered by the way he treats you, but he’s polite and friendly. Look more carefully if he’s actually flirting with you or he cares a lot about the people around him.

Those are the ways to deal with the mixed signals from a guy you like. If you enjoyed this article share it on your social media (psst, he may see it and get the hint to do something or else…). Subscribe to us so you can be notified when the next awesome content is out.

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12 BIGGEST TURN OFFS FOR GUYS

The things that whisper “Run” in his ears – the biggest turn offs for guys.

 

Sometimes it may seem like it’s hard to find any turn offs for guys, just a pretty face is not going to make him commit to you. Moreover, there are a few things women do that could guarantee a huge “Nope!” to a second date. Here are the biggest turn offs for guys so you can take them off your behaviour tick list.

Check: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND LOVE. WHAT IS THE RIGHT FORMULA

12 Clingy is not romantic

 

Showing affection is cute. Getting clingy before the first kiss is scary. It doesn’t get better after that, but at least you’ll have a chance to find out that he thinks you’re clingy. It looks like one of the biggest turn offs for guys is a needy woman that doesn’t give them space to breathe. If you feel a little bit guilty reading that – pay attention to the reasons.

11 Late, later and… way too late

 

Yes, women are so famous for being late for a date that we started thinking it’s totally fine. Well, it is not! If you don’t like to wait for someone 10-15 minutes, why assuming he will enjoy waiting for you? On top of that getting late for the date is a sign of disrespect – to yourself, your time and the other person and his time. Keep that in mind when setting up your next dinner with some hot guy you want to impress.

10 The Ice Queen is here!

 

ice_queen-turn_offs_for_guys-dating

You know what I mean – cold attitude intends to show the other he has to impress you a lot before she melts in a more-than-friends-smile. Well, that is a big turn off for the guys. Nobody thinks it’s fun to spend two hours with icy cold lady demanding the other to put out his best so she can reconsider her feelings. It doesn’t look classy. It looks… cold.

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9 Immature attitude

 

On the other hand – jumping around like a teenage girl is another one of the biggest turn off point for the guys. Immature attitude is something that would turn off the ladies as well. But if you are an independent 25 years old woman – act like one.

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Check: 30 AND SINGLE? READ THIS!

8 Slutty attitude

 

I guess there are lots of ways to push a guy away and discourage him from asking a woman out one more time. Acting slutty is one of them for sure. You know those type of girl – she thinks she’s sexy but offering herself to him too fast is still considered as slutty. Yes, he may take his chance with her in bed but the second date will be saved for a girl that knows her value.

Flirting with other guys is one of the biggest turn offs for guys as well

 

dating_problems-tips-turn_offs

Nope, smiling in that particular way to his best friend doesn’t give him a hint to get you before someone else does. It makes him wonder who you actually want to date – him or his friend. Flirting with other guys is hot only in the high school… maybe. But in the grown-ups’ world, it’s a huge turn off for men.

Hard to get

 

I am totally up for keeping distance at the beginning. Mainly because not everyone deserves a piece of pie right away. However, if you like him and he asks you out – say yes. A woman that’s too hard to get is not going to impress the right guy – it will push him away. The best start of a relationship is the honest one. If you like him – say Yes while you still have the chance.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and everything around

 

Your phone is important to you. However, one of the biggest turn offs for guys is when they ask the girl out, and she spends the date watching her phone, showing him something on her phone or with eyes constantly keeping an eye on it. It’s just not cool. Actually, I’ve got a friend who chased a girl for months and when they got out on the first date, she was checking her phone every three and a half minutes. They didn’t get to the second date.

Check: 10 FIRST DATE TIPS IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP

 Nagging

 

Yep, it’s hard to believe that nagging is a huge turn off, I know it. But actually, guys don’t enjoy it as much as us, girls. Unfortunately.

Too much makeup

 

turn-offs-guys-dating

Looking good is essential. Having makeup is sweet and shows you care about your date and want to look special to him. Overdoing it is… funny and sometimes – scary. Keep it simple; he does need to know how you actually look like.

Bad language

 

No, you’re not an angel, and you do know how to use all those bad words your parents used to tell not to. There are a time and places to use them – like the morning traffic (#becreative). However, on a date with a guy you want to impress, lousy language is rude, weird and doesn’t put you high in his eyes.

Check: SELF-MARKETING IN THE DATING WORLD

 Too much talking

 

It is not about how much you talk but about giving him the opportunity to speak also. Some women tend to talk a lot when out on a date – either to impress the other or just because they’re nervous. Well, they neither impress him nor get calm by talking all the time. Not giving him a chance to say something, explain his visions or just to have a bite in peace, is one of the biggest turn offs for guys. Plus, keeping your mouth shut for longer than a minute will actually give you the opportunity to find out if you like him. Think about it.

THE HABIT OF THE WOMEN TO SAY “NO” WHEN THEY MEAN “YES”

Recently I had to answer a question why the guy didn’t “try harder” after she said No to his proposal for a date. She was shocked and didn’t know what to do next.

 

I was surprised that she’s shocked by him, not herself.

 

Girls, let me tell you something as a girl.

 

If you say No the only thing you could expect and accept is he to walk away. I don’t want to get to the nasty explanation how the things may end up if a guy decides that “no” is actually “yes”…

 

Check: STILL SINGLE? LET ME TELL YOU THE REASONS 

 

The very first thing you should know is that

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NO ONE CAN READ YOUR MIND

 

habit_women_say_no-dating_problems

 

Women often expect from men to know what to do or say. Simple truth – no way that could happen.

 

If you want him to know what you think you shouldn’t focus on how to send him the message. You should open yourself and speak out.

 

Women want to have the right to speak up and yet – we often forget to use it.

 

Then we get angry or confused why things didn’t go on the way we wanted.

 

Check: FIND YOURSELF BEFORE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE

 

Explanation

 

I can find a bit of explanation about this type of behaviour in the media. Many movies and podcasts encourage the idea the guy to chase the girl all over the place. In the end, she will realise she’s madly in love with him, and they will live happily ever after.

 

It doesn’t work like that in the real world.

 

It is a bit immature to expect that you should control the way love happens. Making him running after you, and offering himself now and then mean you don’t respect him enough. Therefore you put yourself in a higher position, and you will tend to do that even during the relationship.

 

What would you do if you ask your crush to go out and he says No? Would you feel confident enough to go after that and ask him again and again.. and again? Hoping that he will realise how amazing you are?

 

If we – the women, claim everywhere how equal we are to the men, why would we expect them to react differently than us? And why would we put them in the begging position?

 

I should agree there are many guys keep asking the girls to go out over and over again. That usually happens at 2 o’clock in the club, and he would really like to see how would her brown hair look on his pillow.

 

If I say No to a man and he proceeds to ask me out, it would mean only one thing to me – he doesn’t respect people’s opinion. Not just mine. Everyones. Do I really want to go into a relationship with someone like that?

 

Check: WHERE DID THE NICE GUY GO?

 

Respect!

 

habit_women_say_no-dating_problems-That’s all about when it comes to a relationship. Respect his/her wishes and act according to them. If there is no respect – there is no love.

 

Hope more girls will see in that article answer the question why they shouldn’t expect someone to act like a puppy after them.

 

It takes courage to ask someone for a date. And it hurts if he/she reject you. Even if your idea is to show or feel how precious you are. There are much more ways to do that. So, if you say it, you better mean it.

 

If Life offers you something you want – say Yes fast!

 

FLUSH HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE – RUN AWAY

IS HE AROUND YOU? RUN AWAY!

 

There are so many women in this world that stay with someone that doesn’t deserve them.

 

Run away!

runaway-dating_problems

We tend to think that love comes with pain. And because of that, it’s okay to close our eyes in front of many things that happen around us.

 

No, it’s not. Sometimes we should open them and realise we’ve got only one life and every day that passes is a day we spend with someone that is not meant to be for us. And we should get rid of him…

 

The man who is going to watch you with lust in his eyes. Flush him out of your sight.

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The man who tells you he loves you only after he had you in his bed. Flush him out of your house.

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The man who doesn’t respect your body and wishes. Please, run away from him.

 

The man who is going to let you fall asleep without telling you good night. Night after night. Flush him out.

 

The man who wants you in his nights but not in his days. Kick him out of your life.

 

The man who comes to your home to dine with you and doesn’t bring anything. Close the door in front of his face.

 

The man who made you think of yourself as something less important. Run away from him.

 

The man who doesn’t look into your eyes if you’re sad. He doesn’t deserve you.

 

The man who makes you breakfast in the bed, and after that asks you for a favour. Don’t help him!

 

The man who promises he will come and leaves you waiting for hours. Don’t wait for him anymore.

 

The man who reads your message and doesn’t reply in the next hours. And he does that all the time. Delete his number.

 

The man who lets you sleep lonely night after night while he is out with friends. Flush him out of your life ASAP.

 

flush_him_out-dating_problemsThe man who is going to roll his eyes when see you crying. Please, run away from him.

 

The man who asks you for money before the end of every month. Let him grow up on his own.

 

The man who brings you flowers and doesn’t forget to tell you how much they cost. Flush him out.

 

The man who wakes you up in the middle of the night because he’s drunk. Run away from him.

 

The man who doesn’t want to speak to you about the things that bother you. Don’t be bothered with him.

 

The man who doesn’t want to speak with you about the things that bother him. Run away from him.

 

The man who tells you he needs you to love him. Run away from him.

 

The man who made you think about running away.

 

Please, run away from that man.

 

Not sure if he’s the right for you? Check these articles for some information:

ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP?

ARE YOU LOSING YOURSELF IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

WHERE DID THE NICE GUY GO?

WHERE DID THE NICE GUY GO? HOW TO BE A NICE GUY?

Or how to be a nice guy and that to be a good thing.

Starting to write that article I did a small online research about “how to be a nice guy”. Obviously at some point in my life, while I was looking for a nice guy, some people out there made up a new opinion about them. If you try to do the same research like me, you will be drowned in stories how much “nice guys” are actually some losers, walking around with the only idea to play good role till they convince poor women to sleep with them.

Well, in that case, they are not so nice anymore, are they? What a surprise!

So the next thing we end up is “a nice guy syndrome” which is almost a disease and if you have it, you better shoot yourself. Or you can buy some fancy book to tell you how to live your life without being nice…

So what happened?

where_nice_guy-dating-problemsI started to think that the nice guys don’t want to know how to be nice anymore because this is something wrong. I mean it! It’s all over the internet! The only thing that I could do was to close all windows on my desktop and try to stop laughing so I can tell you what I think a nice guy is. Feel free to correct me, but this is how to be a nice guy.

Why?

I may be wrong, but if you are not a nice guy, then there is no chance for you to be the “real man” that every woman dreams to date. Is there a difference between them? I’m a little bit confused.

One condition…

Let’s make one thing clear. There are not so many bad guys in that world. You are not bad just because you have different values, expectations and visions about life. You just don’t match, and each one of you should try to find his partner in life. Nobody owns anything to the other, and if you give, you shouldn’t do it with the expectations to receive. That is what we call love.

Hint for the ladies: So the logic says that if your friend asks you to go out on a date and you’re just not into him, it’s not your fault that he got mad about it and told you some nasty things. It means that his original intentions were not so pure and he thought the moment of action has come. Your rejection was a surprise, so that’s why you “don’t deserve a nice guy like him”.

Are those the “nice guys” out there? Let’s not offence them, please!

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So how to be a nice guy?

Well, if you’re nice – make it clear!

There is something I almost admire in the “playboy” type of guys. And this is the clear sign of his intentions. A girl will never think even for a moment that the guy wants to be “just a friend” with her. He will show her from the very beginning he wants her, and if she doesn’t agree with that, I doubt they will stay friends. Yes, she may get confused about how serious the relationship will be, but at least she will be aware he wants her in his bed.

And the one thing leads to the other – you are not a nice guy if you try first to get into her friend circle and when she trusts you to ask her out. I call this a sneaky behaving. If you want to know how to be a nice guy and a real man, you should make it clear from the very beginning. So, if it happens – perfect, and if it doesn’t – at least nobody will be left with the wrong impression.

Taking the bullets for her

dating_problems-nice_guy

how to be a nice guy

Do you try to protect her from all the bad guys in this bad, bad world? Wondering what’s wrong with her eyes and why she doesn’t see how nice you are? Well, she has the right to choose, and we all learn from our mistakes. Pointing the others with a finger and explaining how awful and miserable human beings they are, is not going to make you nice. If she’s on the way to date the wrong guy, you won’t be able to stop her. And “I told you so” won’t make her like you after that.

Giving up on your wishes while trying to find out how to be a nice guy

nice_guy-dating_problemsIf you constantly give up your plans for dinner, holiday or movies, that doesn’t make you a nice guy. It makes you a guy who neglects his wishes in the name of .. what?. A good girl will ask you for your wishes, and you will both discuss how to spend the time together in a way that will make both of you happy. If you ignore your happiness in the name of the other’s happiness, then someone is not so happy anymore…

Keep it quiet 

If you want to know to get the secret on how to be a nice guy – don’t keep it quiet. A nice guy will never stay quiet if something in the relationship doesn’t suit him. And all that so he can avoid the arguing or the grumpy face. He will know that communication is the base of a healthy relationship. As well as honesty by the way.

The puppy behaving or trying to please her all the time

Walking around like a puppy after his owner is not a nice guy acting either. Making her wishes come true no matter what makes you silly and funny. And don’t get me wrong – “making her happy” and “making her happy no matter what”, are two completely different things. In the first case, we talk about a normal relationship where everybody wishes are important, and you try to make each other happy. The second type of behaving is you running chaotically all over the place, trying to do the impossible just to see the smile on her pretty face. When probably the only thing that could make her smile is you showing her she’s important in much more normal ways.

A nice girl will appreciate you when you appreciate yourself. Sacrificing yourself is not going to make you a hero in her eyes. Respect yourself and respect her, be honest and communicate as much as possible – that is the normal relationship. If it works – be happy.

If not – be happy 🙂

 

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