What can you do today to be a happier person?
We all want to be happy (or at least happier) and are looking for ways to make it happen.
We research articles, buy books and secretly make a list of things that if changed, we’ll feel happy.
The truth is that feeling happy is a journey and not a destination.
Researches say that the pursuit of happiness is what makes us feel good, but once we get that promotion, buy that house or travel to that destination, we reach the higher point of the happiness and the only way from there is down.
So, here we are, 5 days after we got promoted, one month into the new house or 3 hours after we came back home from a holiday, we already need a new fix, a new dose of happiness.
We need something else to pursuit.
We want to be happier. Again.
Related Post: 77 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR HAPPINESS AND INNER PEACE
Pursuing happiness outside of us is like trying to fill a pot with water when there’s a hole on the bottom of that pot.
We keep pouring experiences, material stuff and keep looking for external ways to create something that’s an internal job.
In this post, I will show you some easy ways to be happy by focusing on the inner world instead of the external one.
Let’ get to work.
13 Easy Ways To Be Happy
1. Realise that you are already happy
I am not joking here.
Actually, right now, you are already happy. But as I said, you just need a bigger dose (your new fix) of dopamine to feel that emotion even stronger.
But if you listen really carefully, you will realise that you are already happy. Right here, right now.
2. Decide to make a change
You see, half of the time we feel happier just because we do something different and we get out of the rut.
That’s why we often need to experience something different, that would “make us feel alive”.
Have you noticed that if you do the same things every day, the days just blend into each other and they all feel very long, yet we don’t realise how fast they go?
But if you do something different every day, life goes slower, and you actually notice the world around you?
Decide to make a change.
Include something new in your life every day. Make it different than the previous day. Live it as you will never have that day again.
Because you won’t!
3. Just drop everything and do something nice for yourself
Just a few days ago, I had a meltdown.
We’ve been through a lot with my partner. We moved into another country; we had family issues to deal with, we travelled extra to do some business deals. I didn’t have any free time for myself for weeks. Every day I felt more tired than the previous one.
But instead of listening to my own advice and find that time for myself, I kept doing some other stuff instead.
Until I broke down.
And that’s the moment when – like it or not, I had to do something nice for myself.
So, here I was: in a house that’s a mess, with more than 10 unpacked suitcases, half a wardrobe of laundry, no cooked food and hundreds of things to be done on this blog, feeling out of control and crying like a baby.
What did I do? I dropped everything I was doing and spend the day in the bed watching movies and sleeping. It was a luxury I didn’t have for months, maybe years. I decided to be blind for everything around me and to do whatever would make me happy at that moment.
On the next day, I was ready to dive into the mess again. And it didn’t feel overwhelming anymore. I’m taking it one day at a time and not giving up on my time-off.
4. Eliminate a bad habit
When we think of bad habits, we usually come up with unhealthy habits such as smoking, drinking, etc. Yes, these habits put happiness away from us, but they aren’t the only ones.
What about neglecting yourself?
What about not getting enough sleep?
What about not finding the time to love the people around us?
All these are bad habits and they equally destroy our lives.
Eliminate your bad habits. Start doing things that matter — step by step.
What is it that you know you must change but keep delaying?
Is it cooking healthy meals or playing with your kids? Should you finally go on a walk to the park or start working more and spending less time on social media?
Let’s get to the rest of the easy ways to be happy today.
5. Do a Mental Social Declutter
I mentioned Social Media as a bad habit, but there’s a certain level of bad social life we get caught into.
We follow people we don’t like, we stalk “friends” and feel bad their life is better than ours. It looks like everyone else is happier than us.
It isn’t a coincidence that depression and anxiety spiked up in the last 10-15 years, exactly when the social media usage spiked up as well. We think that 30 seconds video of a friend who’s having fun equals to 24 hours of entertainment and that person is happier than us.
We think that the friend who’s out every evening is much happier, but we forget that she might just be very lonely at home.
What about the family who visits different places every weekend? They are probably very stressed, and that’s the only way to keep the balance.
None of them is happier than us.
And even if they are… so what? Isn’t that a good thing?
Do a mental social decluttering.
Don’t assume everyone on your friends’ list is doing better than you. They are just doing their best. Just as you do.
6. Prioritise things in life
And while on the subject…
One of the easy ways to feel happy today is to choose the right things, to prioritise and hold onto your priorities.
Just like me – dropping everything and going to bed to watch pointless movies or your friend who’s out every evening… prioritise what’s important to you now, today and start there.
Maybe finishing that project for your presentation is the thing that you need to prioritise today? Or it’s cleaning your home? Perhaps it’s calling your parents?
What is it? Stop for a second and think about it.
Related Posts: 42 WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT MORE
7. Keep a gratitude journal
I cannot stress this one enough.
Keep a gratitude journal, and it will transform your life better than any magic would.
Gratitude is the single thing that could lift you up, no matter how low you’ve fallen. And I am sure of it because it has happened to me so many times that I stopped counting.
Check this helpful list of the best gratitude journals online and increase your happiness instantly. Also, go through this guide on how to use only 10 gratitude prompts to improve your life.
But not on social media.
Do you know why we “socialise” more than ever and we feel more anxious and depressed than ever?
The machines have pushed us away from the person-to-person communication and like it or not – they can’t provide us with the same quality of experience as the physical connection would.
We feel like we’re “socialising” through the chat, but we use it in the wrong way. Nothing could replace the look in the other’s eyes, the touch of their hand, the perfume, etc.
Happiness means the connection between the two people’s hearts. Don’t replace it with a cold machine.
9. Stop restricting yourself from something that makes you happy
We are taught to behave all the time.
We should do this or that; we should think of how our actions affect our loved ones’ lives; we should do only what’s right and accepted…
But also, we should be happy.
Almost three years ago, I started this blog, and everyone around me was firmly against it. The reason? I didn’t make any money, and I didn’t work. My fiancee was making enough money to sustain us both so I could focus on this blog and make it work.
But after a few months, it became clear that money won’t come quickly and my family started mentioning (very often) that it’s time to start a “real job”. It was unthinkable for them that I depend on my fiancee. Yet, I never felt like I rely on him. It has always been “our money” and not just his. We’ve been through lots of conversations where I would strongly suggest I find a job, but he believed in what I was doing and wanted me to keep going.
Two years in blogging and I made enough money for us to sustain only from this business. My fiancee left his job, and now we work on building our home and preparing a wedding next year.
Here’s what I want you to take from this story.
People will always judge you, no matter what you do.
Yet, that doesn’t mean you need to stop doing it.
If you feel, in your heart, that something makes you happy, keep doing it. Follow your passion, your dreams, your plans. Achieve your goals. It’s totally worth it, I promise.
Related Post: 7 HABITS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ALWAYS HAPPY
10. Talk about how you feel
That isn’t a surprise, I guess.
But one of the easiest ways to feel happier is to talk about the way you feel.
Find that friend who won’t judge you, talk to your loved one, your parent… just talk. Say how you feel, even if you don’t know the reason you feel this way.
11. Try simplicity in life
Don’t we love to complicate our lives?
We constantly look for the big thing that will make us happy.
While the truth is, simple small things could make us equally happy.
Make a list of simple actions that make you happier. What would it include?
Here are a few points of my list:
- watching a romantic comedy;
- cooking something different;
- reading a book;
- talking to my partner;
- playing with my nephews, etc.
12. Eliminate self-judgment to feel happier
I love Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkies book. In it, she talks about the way our ego works in preventing us from living our lives fully. No matter how much others judge us. The biggest damage is usually done by ourselves and our ego.
Because we know exactly where to hit, so it hurts longer.
Our ego is well aware of our flaws and never forgets to slide a sentence or two into our minds that could ruin even the strongest confidence.
Listen to Spirit Junkies Audiobook For Free
13. Accept things as they are
That’s one of the most important ways to feel happy, instantly.
Very often, the reason we don’t feel happy is that we are in an internal conflict with something in our life. We refuse to ignore it and cannot change it. That creates a spiral of negative thoughts and leads to unhappiness and depression.
Learning to accept what we cannot change is the key to feeling better.
But how do we do that?
To me, the easiest way to accept something is to stop arguing with myself about it.
You know it.
That conversation, inside your head, when you think of all the ways you don’t deserve to be in that situation – that must stop. The truth is that accepting something means to find a reason to be ok with it. We are adaptive beings; time will do the rest.
And if it doesn’t?
Then it’s time for a change.
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