ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP?

The only question you should ask yourself to find the answer

To be happy in a relationship is a choice. And I know many of you would argue about that, but it’s true. Happiness is always a choice. It is not luck, faith or coincidence.

So being happy in the right relationship is a choice. Being in a relationship that makes you happy is a choice as well, isn’t it? But sometimes we find ourselves wondering about our options. Are they right? Am I happy? How do I know if this relationship makes me unhappy? Is it just stress and hormones that cause me walking around with a grumpy face?

Because

I can assure you that there are moments when stress may be the reason you miss out many special moments with the right person. Just because you cannot coop with it. Often the problems are coming from inside our mind and soul. And the fault is not in the person next to us.

So how do we know if the problem is inside of us or it’s in our choice of relationship? Is that the right relationship?

 

right_relationship-relationship_problemsI found out that in every relationship I’ve been asking myself just one question. And the answer has always been the only thing I need to make a decision about the future. If you want to know if I’ve listened to the answer and acting according to it… No! And that was just one of many mistakes I’ve made. But at least I can share experience and thoughts about it and even if I manage to help to only one of you, that would be amazing.

So there it is

How did you two spend the day today?

Was it just a typical day like every other of your relationship? Can you tell that it was only an ordinary, unremarkable day that you probably wouldn’t remember in a month time? Well, that’s perfect! Choose that day! If today was a special day for you or your partner, choose a different one. You need a normal, “nothing unusual” day.

Think about that day for a while and imagine that this is how is going to be your life with that person from now on. Are you scared of that option? Do you think that something like that cannot be a life-changing question?

Well, sometimes we can find the most significant truth in the simplicity!

So you shouldn’t look at the long arguing, remarkable discussion or the dinner in an inexpensive restaurant. Not because they’re not important but because they are just a few seconds of the long line of your life. You need the hours between those seconds. You need the every-day routine in your relationship.

You can change the jobs, move to another city, house or country. You can change almost everything else. But believe me, in 95% of the relationships the only thing you would not change is the relationship routine.

What is a relationship routine?

Relationship routine is everything around us that we don’t even notice most of the time. Those are the things you do without seeing you do them.

one_question-relationship_problemsIt’s the way you sleep in the bed, the way you wake up one next to each other, how you split the housework and the responsibilities. It’s the way his socks on the floor make you feel, or her make up all over the place (yes, even on your shelf). It’s the way you speak when nobody can hear you. It’s the way you welcome the other person after a hard day at work. Or the way you handle each other’s emotions when she’s in the sensitive days of every month.

Because that is life

When you close Facebook and Instagram when you don’t have guests coming around when there’s nothing on the TV and the day is just “one of many”. That is life. So many days that come and go, and we don’t notice them. So many ordinary emotions that we’re used to. That is life, like it or not.

So, do you like it?

That is the question.

Do you agree to share those days with that person?

Do you agree to feel the way you feel during these days for most of your life?

If nothing more remarkable and unusual happen to you – because nobody can give you the guarantee that it will, would you be happy with your choice?

Of course, there are going to be many fantastic days, holidays, celebrations, birthdays and special moments. Of course, you will climb many mountains and resolve many problems. But among those single moments are the hours of every day. Would you be happy to go through those hours with that person?

 

3 thoughts on “ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP?”

  1. Pingback: Are you in the right relationship? | Couples Counseling in Portland

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