Do the fairy tale ends after you get married?
You did it! You’re married!
You finally belong to each other, and it’s legal.
After the honeymoon and after all the love you spread around for the last half-year before the wedding, it’s finally time to get settled and to proceed with your life as a married couple. Does something change? Does something have to change?
The answer to both of these question is Yes and No. If you have lived together before the wedding and you’re still on the same jobs nothing should change, right?
But what usually happens is that you feel changed. Now you feel part of something big and amazing and want to dive into it. The main thing you should do right now is to take all your expectations about the marriage and to write them down. Yes, do it now. Then read them slowly and carefully. And now burn that list! Burn it to the last piece of paper. You don’t need it. Marriage is the next level of the relationship, but it’s still a relationship between two people and the rules are still the same. To expect something at the beginning of a relationship is ridiculous. You don’t know how deep it will go and the only thing you can do is to enjoy “exploring” the person on the other side of the table. I believe it’s the same situation with the marriage.
When you get home after the honeymoon, you think that knowing the person you married, gives you the right to expect him to do or act in a way you believe is right. Leave aside this attitude and enjoy getting know the new spouse you have. Are you the same person you were five years ago? Probably not. Maybe now you feel stronger mentally; realise more things about the world, you’ve changed your interests, started a new hobby… Well, your loved one is not the same as well. We change all the time. Who we are is not who we used to be. Keep discovering the other and don’t allow yourself to feel like you know him better than he or she does.
Finding new goals after we manage to put a tick on the right family status usually is the most common thing that happens after the wedding. We look for the next challenge in our life, and we leave the marriage to happen by itself. As you may guess by now, this is the biggest mistake you can do. Marriage doesn’t happen – you have to work on it every single day. Just to love each other is not going to solve the problems if you don’t share and communicate like you use to do before that. It’s a good idea to find a new goal but does not abandon the base of your new future.
And do you remember the dates you had? It was incredible, right? Don’t think this time is gone. Arrange a date with your wife, and she will be as charming and adorable as you remember her. Ladies, cook his favourite meal and prepare a bath with wine and strawberries with chocolate. Go out with friends for the weekend, like you used to do and don’t isolate yourself as a couple. Be part of the world and meanwhile create your mini world at home.
Marriage sounds serious, and it is. But the most amazing thing is that it is not a war or a fight. It’s a journey, and you share every step of it with the most amazing person you have ever known. Otherwise, you wouldn’t decide to spend the rest of your life with him.