Is Marriage Boring And Less Romantic Than A Relationship?

Who said that?

Well, if you look at the forums in the internet space or the articles in the magazines, you will see that when it comes to marriage – as the years pass the problems become more and more. And everything goes around kids, career, mortgage and dull evenings we name to be “the peace of being married”.

So I decided to write down the things that marriage gives us, and the relationship doesn’t. And somehow all these things makes marriage more romantic than any relationship. Tell me if I’m wrong. Romantic marriage is when…

He/she knows how you like…

your tea/coffee. I know it sounds a bit of cliché but one of the things that make you tired during every relationship is getting to know the other’s habits. The way she likes her coffee, why he eats only once a day, should the spoon be in the cup or not, her things all over the bathroom… oh, it can be so exhausting. The little everyday things that make life happens. The best thing over the years is that you don’t have to ask how to do it and make the other happy.

Where is the romantic? It’s not only knowing the other. It’s feeling him as well. Going beyond the point of “what/why/how to do the things” gives you time to focus on the essential things and to enjoy the other’s presence.

Which leads to…

romantic-marriage_goalsYou’re getting to know each other more and more. Life situations, struggles, arguing, disagreements, holidays, making plans, changing plans. All that is part of marriage and part of the journey knowing the other. You think that you already know your spouse, after ten years he/she cannot surprise you?

Where is the romantic? I have the belief that we barely know ourselves so the chances to know the other entirely is minimal. There’s always room for something new, and the trigger could be anything. If you’re missing the excitement – make it happen. Plan something by yourself and surprise the other. Do it few times, and he/she will follow you.

Romantic marriage is when…

 You’re not afraid of…

walking around in an old t-shirt or leaving the beard to grow for three-four days. It comes with the marriage. We cannot deny it. It is not romantic to do it every day, but it is romantic to know that you can allow yourself to be messy today. Just because you’re tired, stressed or in a mood to be messy.

Where is the romantic? When in a relationship you try most of the time to look as best as possible, when you’re married you don’t feel uncomfortable to show that you’re a normal human and have messy moments as well.

Don’t get me wrong. Being messy once in a while and letting yourself being messy every day, are different things. Looking after yourself is one of the keys to a successful marriage – no one likes to marry the prince and after few years to see how he becomes a lazy old man with a beer belly. Romantic marriage is when…

You can complain for hours…

with the security that the other will not run away just because you had a bad day at the office or you’re in “one of those days of the month”. Being able to share your feelings – good or bad, keeps the connection between you two. With the years you should feel more and more free to share your thoughts and feelings. Knowing that the other will listen to you and will at least try to understand and support you is very important.

Where is the romantic? I know it doesn’t really go in the “romantic” part at first side but if you ask me if I prefer flowers every day or the possibility to talk about the things that matter to me… just bin those flowers.

And talking about sharing…

You share the kids…

children-marriage_goalsWatching your children and seeing them as the perfect possible product of your love, is one of the best feeling ever. Could you tell me something more romantic than that? Looking after them and making sure they’ve got the best of you two, giving them the best example of how a family should be and feel… These are the things that matter today. So.. What could be more romantic than that?

You share the past…

You’ve been through so much together – great memories, tears, laughter, rainy days and blessing moments. When you look into your spouse’s eyes, you see the past, the support and yourself as well. What is not romantic in that?

You share the future…

The best part! The unknown! One of the biggest fears nowadays is the fear of being alone. But whatever comes it’s going to face you and your partner. And that is why marriage is a blessing – you’re not alone. You share so many things in common and compromise with the other and yourself. He/she makes you grow, glow and going forward. Where is the romantic of that? Everywhere!

Was that too much sugar for you? Too much fairy tale and unrealistic? Look around and try to find the proves that I’m right. I bet it will take you less than a minute. And then kiss your partner and be happy. You have everything you need!

 

 

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