Marriage Lesson 101: Get ready for it!
Do you need some marriage advice for newlyweds?
Saying Yes to the woman/man of your life is one of the most amazing feelings ever. It’s like a huge victory in the fight to find and keep true love. But the walk on the aisle shows only the first few steps in life where you will face much more than you did till now.
Related post: HOW TO KNOW IF YOU WANT TO MARRY HIM/HER?
In moments like that, we need some advice. Being recently married couple could be overwhelming, exciting and at the same time – hard. Some questions come into your head soon after The Day, if not immediately.
- Is the wedding the end of the struggles or the beginning?
- How can I stop myself from forgetting how amazing I feel today?
- How can I sustain the love, the intimacy and the understanding we shower each other with?
- How could we find the secret to our happiness, even when life gets hard on us?
To answer those and other questions of yours, I made a list of the best marriage advice for newlyweds. For you!
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Often, after the wedding, many couples tend to forget there’s still a lot of work to be done. Actually, the action never stops and the best part – you will enjoy it. Communication is essential for any relationship. However, the communication with your new spouse should be priority number 1. That is the reason “Communicate” to be my first advice for newlyweds.
- Never lose a chance to sit down and talk about life, dreams, plans, feelings, hopes.
You do remember your first dates, don’t you? You were talking for hours and hours and felt like there’s so much more to talk about. Bring back that feeling. Focus on revealing more and more of the other’s soul. Communicate!
Marriage advice for newlyweds “Keep dating.”
Even before the wedding, many couples forget to date. If you live together long before the actual wedding, it’s likely you don’t date anymore.
But is it possible to date someone you live together with?
Absolutely! Who said dating is only when two people see each other while they live separately.
You could put on your best shirt, she could dress in a cute skirt, and both of you could go on a coffee, romantic dinner. Just be present that this is a date!
Work as a team
When problems occur remember one crucial thing:
- It’s you and your partner against the problem, not against each other.
The problems will come and go. No newlyweds are speared of having them. But in the first months and years, you will find that many times your opinions are different.
There’s never only one solution to the problem. So, if it’s solved, why bother to be your way.
- There are many things in life you shouldn’t compromise with. And much more you should.
Compromising is not allowing the other to do or have what he/she wants. Compromising is realising that if something makes the love of your life happy, you should keep your opinion to yourself.
So what if you chose Chinese instead of an Italian restaurant to have dinner? Next time it’ll be Italian.
So what if the curtains are in white instead of light peach? Change them in a year time when you’re both tired of looking at the white ones.
So what if you have to watch a show you don’t like, but your spouse loves? Record your show and watch it later or the weekend.
Related post: HOW TO STAY MARRIED AND BE HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME
Keep everything between the two of you
- Nobody feels your love the way you two do.
One of the best advice for newlyweds that you could get is to keep everything between the two of you. I know, when you’re out with your best friend, it’s so easy to share your recent problem.
But hold it for a while.
You love your spouse unconditionally, and you’re aware this problem will go away. But your best friend will remember the fact you don’t feel happy, and you have problems. Depending on how you put the question, it may even look like something horrific happens.
Keep the things between the two of you and don’t give anyone chance to say even a single word that would hurt the other’s feelings. Marriage is something personal. Keep it that way.
Marriage advice for newlyweds “Don’t live two separate lives”
Soon after the wedding, life goes back to the routine. Work, food, TV, out with friends, football-weekend, cleaning, planning to clean… the circle is there.
Escape from that routine. Once in a while – escape from it. Share moments together. Not just the sleeping in one bed and the sex from time to time. Find a way to create little moments for both of you – a walk out in the shops (even if you don’t buy anything), in the park, afternoon coffee in some small cafe. Be creative. It’s not necessary to spend money. Being together is necessary.
Get clear on finances on time
Let’s talk about money. No way you didn’t ask yourself some questions regarding the financial part of the marriage. Usually, this is a conversation you should’ve had before the wedding. But if you didn’t – have it as soon as possible.
- Money is non-romantic part of the marriage, but it sure can create romantic moments.
- Have a plan how to spend your money.
- Decide if you’ll have joined account or everything will go in two separate ones.
- Chose a monthly saving plan and try to stick with it.
- Cover your debts and stay away from new ones.
- Be respectful of the things your new wife/husband is used to spend money on every month. As long as your finances cover your bills and the saving plan is going well, you shouldn’t worry if your spouse has an expensive hobby.
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You didn’t think you won’t fight, did you? The problem with the fight between the new husband and wife is that often we try the other’s boundaries. We chose to push so we can provoke reactions and see what’s going on. And that’s not fair.
Fighting fair is not to see how far the other will go. Neither to swallow your pride in the name of a quiet day is a solution. It’s about talking about the current problem, listening to the other’s words and trying to see why what he/she says is vital to him.
Related post: HOW TO FIGHT FAIR?
You shouldn’t even get to the wedding day if there’s no trust between the of you.
However, don’t allow that trust to slip away during the hard moments. Trust is not only the belief that your loved one is faithful to you, but trust is to let him/her lead you through things you’ve got less knowledge about. Trust is to believe that sharing thoughts that disturb you, is the best way to see if there’s something to worry about. Knowing that the other loves you and everything he/she does, is because of that love – that is trust.
The hardest to put in action – advice for newlyweds “Forgive!”
No one is perfect. If you expect to be forgiven, you have to forgive as well. No marriage could survive if there’s no forgiveness.
Be proud of each other
- Point out the small wins. Celebrate them.
Show your spouse how good he/she did something. Appreciate the qualities the other has, and make sure you say it out loud. Everyone loves to hear he’s done something well. It’s one of the strongest ways to motivate each other to keep doing what you’re doing.
“Set goals” advice for newlyweds
It may not be a mortgage in the first year after the wedding. But it’s advice for newlyweds you need to focus on.
Usually, the first year after the wedding day is all about emotions, to settle in the new role as a spouse… Goals are somewhere there, in the future and you’ve got the idea of something, but it’s just not the right time. Yes, it is! Setting a goal will unite you (remember the “work as a team” advice for newlyweds?) and give you a path to walk toward. Make it something small – a holiday, trip to somewhere, or buying something for the house. Stay inspired.
This advice for newlyweds is for the last place but is probably the most important.
- Showing love is not saved only for the dating, or just for the months before the wedding. Showing love is the most significant part that leads to “till death tear us apart“.
Making breakfast for your spouse every morning, kiss on the neck, touch on the shoulder, smile before you go to sleep… To show love is the cheapest thing ever and yet, sometimes it costs us everything. Show love.