They Will Never Say Sorry But You Know You Should Forgive And Move On
How often do you find yourself remembering the moments that a specific person has hurt you the most?
Maybe just thinking about this person and what they’ve done to you makes you feel uncomfortable and aching inside. You are a good person, and you know that it will be easier to feel at peace if you’ll forgive them.
But this person has caused damage to your well-being so substantially that merely thinking about them hurts you.
Forgiveness is easier said than done. Anyone can lie to themselves and other people that they have moved on and forgave the person who has damaged them the most.
Forgiveness is not easy, especially if a person doesn’t even see an issue or problem about their actions. You are left here wondering how to forgive someone who isn’t sorry in the first place. They may not be worth it for your forgiveness, but you should still try.
Here are essential mind shifts and realizations on how you can forgive someone even if they’re not sorry.
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To forgive is an act of self-love
Does your inability to forgive someone who isn’t sorry makes you feel bad? Of course, it is because not being able to forgive someone is an unsettling feeling. At some point, you’re also damaging your self-love by thinking bad about yourself and finding a solid answer on why you deserve such pain.
You may be thinking that not forgiving them is a way to punish them. But, the one you’re punishing is yourself. The growing resentment towards other people and their actions will somehow change how you view things and other people.
Not being able to forgive will cage you into believing that there is something wrong with you. And you’ll expect that other people will hurt you again.
If you’re unable to forgive someone who isn’t sorry, think how much you love yourself because forgiving someone is an act of self-love. If you love yourself, you won’t let yourself be bound by a feeling of resentment. Those resentment and pain stop us from moving forward and living our best life.
Forgiveness is a gift that you can give yourself. If they live their best life knowing they cause you immense pain, why are you the one suffering from their insensitivity?
Forgiving someone means you expect more from yourself and less from other people
I believe that expectation is inherent in our relationship with other people, with lovers, family, or friends. We think that they should be sensitive enough to consider other people’s feelings when they decide to do something.
However, those expectations are the sources of significant frustration. If we expect our lovers, family, and friends to do things a certain way and they failed- we’ll end up hurt and angry.
There are different types of expectations. Some failed expectations can be forgiven without much effort. But somehow, there are failed expectations that have a considerable impact on us which will take a lot of effort to be forgiven. Realize if you are putting more expectations on other people than what you can do yourself.
I resented someone in the family because I have this expectation that he should take care of us. I often wonder how he can live in comfort when we are suffering. But in the end, I realize that I’m putting so many expectations on him. I’m putting so much expectation on him to the point that it’s hurting me. I decided to strip away my expectations of how it should be.
It is not easy to expect when you are deeply rooted in how things should be. But it is the only way to forgive someone even if they’re not sorry.
What can you do about a specific situation that will strip away your expectations towards other people?
Change your mindset about forgiveness
The famous saying that “to forgive is to forget” makes many people wholly discouraged in forgiving someone who isn’t sorry. It may seem that justice will not be served once you forgive another person for their wrongdoings.
But like what I’ve mentioned, forgiveness is an act of self-love.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you will forget every awful thing they’ve done to you. Think of forgiveness as a way to exit a particular situation with grace.
To forgive someone who isn’t sorry is not a way of tolerating their wrong actions towards us. In essence, forgiveness is a way to stop their control and influence toward our lives.
Practice forgiveness by being compassionate
They are not perfect! Nobody is.
In some cases, a person hurts us because of the trauma and suffering in their own lives. For some reason, other people do not notice that their actions reflect bad things or circumstances that happened in their lives.
We can forgive such a person by being compassionate. Compassion doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re tolerating other people to mistreat you. Compassion only means that you are a good person. You understand that everyone is different, and they are not perfect. Realize that everyone walked on a different path in this life, and other beliefs and habits shape their life.
Accept that you cannot control everything and learn to live in the present
Our inability to forgive at the heart’s level is a clear indication that we are struggling to live in the present. Your inability to forgive someone who isn’t sorry or someone who’s not worthy of your forgiveness means that you hope you can change the past.
You cannot change the past; we all know that. What needs to be done now is to release your expectations that you can control what could’ve happened in the past, which is an impossible thing to even think about.
Accept that what happened between you and this person is not entirely in your control. You could have done little things here and there, but it would not simply re-tell the whole story differently. You must understand that blaming yourself or the other person will not change a thing.
Forgive someone who isn’t sorry by improving yourself
Yes! There are healthy ways to come out stronger and better after a seemingly devastating situation. Ask yourself what you’ve learned about this situation or what you’ve learned about yourself. Use your hurt as a motivation to improve yourself and your life.
There are healthy ways to heal a broken heart. By doing this, you’ll ensure that your well-being and self-love are not hurt in the process of trying to forgive someone who isn’t sorry.
If you’re struggling to forgive someone, go back to yourself first. Try to see how this situation can be used as an inspiration to improve you and your life. After you’ve seen the good things, you will notice that this person hasn’t taken anything away from you. It will now be easier to forgive.
Use a journal or write a letter to someone you can’t forgive
I love writing and journaling, and this is what I do to reflect on my feelings. Writing contains energy and emotion. Your anger, frustration, and resentment should be better off in a paper than to do something nasty towards a person. Thinking of revenge is caused by hurt, resentment, and grudge, which are all negative emotions that can drive us to do or think of nasty things.
Writing a letter or journaling is a way to analyze things and the whole situation. It can also make you realize what went wrong and how you can improve your present and future situation.
Just a note that journaling or writing a letter to someone you can’t forgive doesn’t mean that you’re re-living the trauma. What you’d want to achieve in writing a letter and journaling is the healing and acceptance it can give you, especially when trying your best to forgive someone.
Forgive someone by making your stand strong
Be clear on your boundaries and respect yourself.
Respect yourself enough to walk away from the situation that is not helping you grow and be a better person. Remember that you matter too. Your dreams, physical body, and mental health should not be sacrificed by staying in a bad situation.
Do not let fear be your guide in making a decision. If you’d only give yourself a chance to see the other side, you’ll see that there are always better and amazing things, people, and situations. Those fantastic things, people, and situations will only be available to you if you will learn to forgive and let go.
Conclusion on How To Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry
Letting go of people and situation that’s sabotaging your life will be challenging, especially if they are important people in our lives. But sometimes, we got to choose self-love to realize our dreams and our potential. Establishing a healthy boundary and taking it seriously will improve your life and help you forgive someone even if they don’t feel sorry.
I don’t know how long I’ve lived with frustration and anger towards people, even my family, and life. And it is just now that I realize that I can control my life if only I’ll make the right decisions.
I imagine the heartaches and pains you feel when you think of a person who’s hurt you. But you are strong, and you can do it! I believe that you are ready to forgive and live your best life.
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How To Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry
Abby is a blogger and passionate about self-improvement topics and ways to live our best and intentional life. You can reach Abby at her blog in thedefinedlife.com– her small, safe and happy place on the internet. You can also reach her through her Facebook page.