How To Revive a Dying Relationship

Your relationship had potential, but lately, you feel that you slowly drift away from each other. How to stop it? How to revive a dying relationship and make things okay between you again?

See 10 tips that will guide you on the way to reconnecting with each other again.

1. Look deeper

Before you start reviving your relationship, you need to look deeper and understand why your relationship is dying. It might be a single cause, but it can also be a mixture of things. There are usually multiple reasons why you’re experiencing difficulties. Go to the root of the problem and figure out what your role in it is.

You can figure out why your relationship is struggling if you look deeper within yourself. When was the turning point? When was the last time you felt satisfied and content with your partner? What changed that? Is he also noticing the same pattern? Ask yourself those questions and talk to your partner about them. After all, the goal is to figure it out together, right? 

2. Take responsibility 

Relationships perish for many different reasons. Some people decide to end it once the passion is gone. Others break up after one of the partners has cheated. In many cases, the relationship fails due to trust issues. And the list goes on. But if you want to revive your dying relationship rather than give up, then the first thing you need to do is realize your responsibility.

You need to take responsibility for your actions (or the lack of them). I know that you probably think it’s not your fault. But you need to understand that both partners are responsible for the relationship’s health. You need to work as a team rather than blaming each other.

3. Practice forgiveness

Being able to forgive your partner and yourself for everything that has gone wrong is how you will bring back the relationship. Try to detach from the situation and don’t hold grudges.  Remind yourself that whatever happened, happened and that there is no reason to drag the past into your future.

Keep in mind that forgiveness is a process, and healing isn’t linear. It will take time until you can truly forgive. You’ll probably find it challenging to let go completely from the very beginning. So don’t push that expectation on yourself. Take it easy and trust the process.

Try to practice forgiveness every day. Stop the blaming and focus on mindfulness. Acknowledge your suffering, but don’t let it consume you. Don’t you think you deserve to be free of doubt and ready to start clean?

4. Be honest about how you feel

I don’t think I need to elaborate on why communication is important. Do you think you can resolve your issues without talking about them? You need to feel safe with expressing your true feelings, and you have to provide that safety in return. A lot of relationships fail only because the partners don’t know how to communicate. So work on that before it’s too late.

Healthy communication involves listening to what your partner has to say. And I mean, truly listen. If he says that you’ve hurt him, don’t get defensive and don’t try to excuse your behavior. Recognize their feelings and make them feel hurt. And you should expect the same in return. Only when you’ve successfully expressed your issues verbally can you start resolving them.

5. Go to therapy

Some couples refuse to go to therapy even when they’re experiencing flaws in their relationship. Opening up to someone you don’t know even though they’re a professional might be challenging. After all, it’s a personal choice. But remember that if you want to revive your relationship, you have to escape your comfort zone. In order to take a step forward in your relationship, you have to be willing to give your all.

Trained professionals know how to help you. Your counselor will guide you in understanding the process of regaining trust. They will provide you with tools and direction to help. Therapy can help you to grow and heal. But you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable first. Because the road to reviving your relationship requires effort from both sides.

6. Have realistic expectations

If you notice that your relationship is dying, you have two choices. You either give up, or you start reviving it. If you choose to revive it, you have to set realistic expectations for the future. Expectations are often the root cause of discontentment and alienation. You cannot just hand a list to your partner, saying, ‘here are my expectations from this relationship’. 

Keep in mind that you should emphasize what’s important to you. But then it’s up to your partner to understand what he needs to do to fulfill your needs. Be clear about what you want but evaluate the citation and determine if what you’re asking for is realistic. 

7. Take a break

Contrary to what many people believe, taking a break in a relationship can actually be very healthy. Spending some time apart will help you see what you might not be able to see. Looking at the situation from an objective point of view will paint a bigger picture. This distance will give you space to breathe and think. Taking a break doesn’t mean saying goodbye. 

Trying to fix an almost broken relationship can be draining. That’s why you should take all the time that you need. Don’t rush it, and give your partner the space to clear out his head too. Remember that at the end of it, you’ll come out you’ll have someone to come home to.

8. Manage your anger 

When a relationship is going through challenges, there are a lot of feelings involved. And there are rarely positive emotions surrounding you. It’s completely normal to feel angry, hurt, and confused. You also might blame yourself or your partner for feeling that way. But those emotions are preventing you from growth. It’s likely that you forget to look at the bigger picture in the midst of all the bitterness. 

It’s also important to fight fair. It’s normal to have arguments every once in a while. But how you resolve them is key to growth. Learn healthy expression even when you feel angry. Be respectful and don’t let random bursts of impulsiveness. Listen to your partner and be aware of his feelings. Make him feel heard. There are countless approaches to emotional management. Find out what works best for you and follow it.

9. Create better memories together

In today’s world, it’s easy to get lost in everyday life. Life is demanding, and it’s likely that you both try to juggle jobs and relationships. That’s why if you’re experiencing difficulties in your relationship, you should put effort into creating fresh and better memories. This is when you can get spontaneous. Go for a weekend trip, eat out, and spend quality time together. 

You should focus on the positive even when it feels like it’s not there. Remind each other why you fell in love in the first place and nourish that. Even if you’ve been through a lot, you have to reestablish your trust. And the best way to do that is to spend time together. Being in a physical space where you have beautiful memories and attachment can reignite the passion. 

10. Make up an action plan

If you want to revive your dying relationship, you need to be willing to make changes. After all, you wouldn’t be here if your current behaviors and attitudes worked. You should take active actions into not only figuring out what’s wrong with your relationship but how you’re going to make it better. Make up a framework and tools to save your relationship.

If that means going to therapy, then do it. If it means to take a break, then you should. Regardless of what your “action plan” involves, you have to take that step. Change is almost always good. And remember that growth doesn’t come out of comfort zones. At the end of the day, what you’re trying to achieve is more important than your fears. 

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