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10 Signs of Disrespect in a Relationship You Shouldn’t Ignore

And what to do if you are disrespected

Is there a lack of respect in your relationship?

Do you feel something’s wrong but not sure what?

Are there any tiny bells ringing in your head every now and then?

Where is the border between “I’m making things up” and “This is so disrespectful”?

We are always told to be aware of being used, but do we know how to protect ourselves from hidden disrespect?

In this article, I will list 10 warning signs of disrespect you should never ignore in your relationship, no matter what.

We often forget to pay attention to respect and appreciation. If your feelings are strong, and your hormones are going wild, it’s common to ignore small signs that something’s not right.

It is not your fault.

You would never think that the person you love would disrespect you.

But disrespect loves to take different forms, it’s hidden and we usually see it was there long after the relationship ended.

If there is an alarm going off in your head, check below ten signs for lack of respect in a relationship.

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1. Your partner is continuously reading your messages and replying back after few hours.

woman-embracing-man

I had a boyfriend who would ignore my messages all the time. Sometimes he was at work so I was not bothered by that fact. But he was doing it even when he was home.

He would read it and leave it aside for the next hour or two, and reply then. Once, we were in the middle of an important conversation when suddenly, he stopped answering.

I got worried and had to drive almost an hour to his place to see him watching TV and relaxing on the sofa. Do you think this was disrespectful?

I agree…

Many times we don’t have the opportunity to reply  “I’ll text you later” so we leave the phone aside and go back to it later on. But we are all grown-ups and it’s nice to act as such.

Ignoring your messages indicates a problem.

2. He/she makes appointments with you and after that cancels them.

cigarette-hold-on-legs

It is the most obvious sign of disrespect in any relationship.

If I cancel a date with someone I could only have two reasons:

First: Something came up at the last minute, it’s urgent and I cannot postpone it. That’s OK.

Second: There is no second reason.

It is respectful to myself and the other to go on that date and then do whatever else I wanted to do instead. Everything else is pure disrespect in the relationship.

3. Your loved one is checking your phone on a daily basis…

half-face-woman-portrait

and if you try to stop him he gets angry – “Are you hiding something?”, “So what, I want to be sure you’re faithful”, “You can check mine if you want”.

This is a huge warning sign to run, my dear.

It’s overlooked by too many people out there.

This is a lack of respect and could evolve into something much more serious if you don’t talk about it.

Going into your personal space and making you feel unnecessary guilty is disrespectful and rude.

Honestly, you don’t need someone like that around you.

4. Talking about personal space…

woman-hand-watch

Another sign of lack of respect in a relationship is the “invasion” into your personal space.

Yes, you’re in love. You want to spend time together and share everything with each other.

However, you’re an independent human being, and you’ve got your personal space.

You're an independent human being, and you've got your personal space. Click to Tweet

You need this healthy personal space.

If your partner goes over the level that’s comfortable for you without invitation or permission, is rude, annoying and sometimes – disturbing.

An example of that is checking your phone or reading your diary, asking for passwords and getting angry if you don’t want to provide access to those.

Don’t allow to be fooled you are the one that does something wrong.

5. He is always late. Always!!!

woman-looking-at-sea

Do you remember the never-answer-my-messages-guy?

He ticked most of the boxes in this article, but this one – he was (probably still is) The King of Late-For-A-Date.

On our first date, he came half an hour later than what we had arranged.

I thought he go into bad traffic. Turned out, he lived just two streets down the road.

I ignored that sign of disrespect.

Don’t do my mistake.

Here’s what Late-For-A-Date attitude tells me:

“I didn’t put enough effort (as usual) to be on time for our date“;

“Getting ready and looking perfect is (always) more important than coming on time, and it doesn’t matter if you’re standing somewhere in the cold/heat/alone waiting for me.”.

It may sound harsh, but if you managed to get on time, there is no excuse for him not to do it as well.

Could be bad time management but it is as well a sign of lack of respect in a relationship.

6. Your partner doesn’t listen to your opinion.

woman-eye-portrait

You may think it’s easy to spot this one, but it’s not.

So, you have a discussion, and he doesn’t even listen to your opinion.

Or…

When you talk you could see in their eyes that what you say is pointless. Your words hang in the air… awkwardly.

If you’re in a long relationship, the chances are you don’t even know what’s going on.

Next time you and your partner talk, try to see if he listens to you and tries to understand you. Respect is giving the other a chance to speak up and listen to what he says carefully.

7. Not keeping promises.

purple-flower-in-vase

Don’t let yourself be fooled about this one.

For some people, there’s always a reason not to keep their promises.

For some people, there's always a reason not to keep their promises. Click to Tweet

It’s like the school story where the dog eats the homework… every time!

At some point, each one of us (including you) has to start keeping our promises because other people count on that.

Because it’s fair.

It is a sign of lack of respect in a relationship and it’s kind of easy to spot.

Could you imagine how your life together would look like – he makes a promise, and you have no idea if that’s going to happen or not. Wise people say:

“If there’s a will there’s a way!”

8. Your things are less important than your partner’s.

couple-posing-casually

Putting his goals, dreams, plans, and everything that concerns him above yours all the time is disrespectful.

We all have goals and dreams, a path we walk on and if your priorities are on the bottom all the time – well, I have bad news for you: your partner doesn’t respect you! Didn’t you have a life to live as well?!

9. Dirty talk.

woman-embracing-tattooed-man

No, I don’t mean that dirty talk.

I mean the conversation that makes you feel bad about yourself.

The discussion that points out your mistakes and ruins your mood even more. We all have our “down” moments.

And your partner’s job is to boost your self-esteem, not to bury it as deep as possible.

If that happens to you – run!

It’s time to stop it and to start loving yourself more than the other do.

10. You never feel you’re his priority.

woman-standing-on-man-shoulder

Well, that’s just sad.

You know very well that a relationship is a form of a partnership.

And a partnership is you and the other together, walking on the aisle of life. Both of you equally important, in love, and respectful to each other.

Spending your precious time on Earth with someone who doesn’t think you’re more important than 90% of the people in his life, is just wrong.

How should you deal with the lack of respect in a relationship?

Once you get to the place where you could spot the disrespect – that’s half of the job done.

Don’t get confused by your partner that everything happens only in your mind. If you feel something’s wrong, it usually is wrong.

Believe in your intuition about what’s next.

Is there a chance to express yourself, your feelings and worries, and the other to understand you? If that’s the case – go for it.

Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner.

Expect confusion and frustration – nobody likes to be told he’s been disrespectful.

However, once all that is gone, demand change. I know many people say – we don’t change. But somehow, we do. In fact, Steven Aitchison said:

“People change for two reasons: either their minds have been opened, or their hearts have been broken.”

You have your right to be respected by the person who shares your home, bed, and life.

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Are you respected by your partner? How to know if you are disrespected in your relationship? These are 10 obvious signs your partner doesn't respect you enough. If your loved one does one or more of these things, you should know you aren't respected in the relationship and you need to change something. Relationship problems/ relationship issues/ relationship advice/ signs of disrespect in a relationship/ Disrespect in a relationship

10 Signs of Disrespect in a Relationship You Shouldn’t Ignore

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Jackie

Thursday 23rd of May 2024

Hello, we’ve been together for 40yrs have four amazing adult children and 9 grandchildren. But if I tell him about anything I may not have liked he tells me the same thing back, everything bad or wrong that happens is my fault, he accuses me of lying about everything which I don’t, I know he loves me but we just can’t have a normal conversation with out him staring an argument, we have intimacy twice a week but he always fights with me before and during sex, and then complains because I’m not showing him that I’m enjoying it. I’ve explained to him numerous times that if he wants me to love him back or enjoy it he needs to treat me with love, I’m your wife not some whore you picked up. So he get more upset stops from having sex for about 15 to 30 minutes and then comes back like a little puppy asking if we can continue, yeah I give in but I’m still not happy and I feel like if he doesn’t care about my feelings because he continues telling me to change my face. No I’m sorry and I explain it to him this way to see if he gets it. A woman is like a flower if you water it and give it love and attention it’ll blossom into a beautiful flower but if you mistreat it that flower will start to die and get ugly. It goes into one ear and out the other. What can I do? I know we love each other I just don’t like to be talk down to or blame for something I haven’t done. It’s 40 years together and I feel I deserve to be treated much better.

April Ayres

Sunday 23rd of July 2023

We have been together five years now. Engaged for three. He told me about two years ago that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore…granted I went from a size six to a size 18. So I started working on that issue. I had lost about thirty pounds six months later and was really proud of myself but that’s when he told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore…he loves me…just not in love with me…I weighed my options and decided it would be more painful to be without him at all so I stayed. I have now lost around 100 pounds and I’m almost the size I was when we started dating. About three months after he said he wasn’t in love anymore I told him I was holding on to the way he used to be with me and all the promises he made of how he would treat me and love me….just to be told that none of that was even real. He was just going through the motions. With all of that being said, he does have depression and had a rough life until we met and he laid it all down for me. Basically we saved each other in a way so the loyalty aspect is there. I’ve told him a few times that I should just go but every-time I try to leave he cries and says he isn’t ready to be without me and that he will try harder. He will make an effort for a week tops and then it’s back to uncomfortable isolation and a feeling that he hates me for some reason. Most recently he asked me to make him a list so I did and told him to make me one as well. . So far he has just said he is too depressed right now. But he can go to the studio with Brian or fishing with Johnny and he will text with them all day long but I won’t hear from him unless I text him 95% of the time. I feel like everything in me is saying to go but for some reason I just can’t seem to do it. Please help!

Brittany

Saturday 25th of February 2023

My bf spends more time with his guy friend than me. He also works with his friend.We planned to spend the weekend just us . After work yesterday we went out to eat came home. His friend came by to drop off some money supposedly and stayed maybe 10-15 mins. Then today they worked a job from 9-1230. Me and my bf were supposed to go to a yard sale when he got home and again just us this weekend. Well when he got home he asked if his friend could go with us. Now I'm all upset and he doesn't get that my feelings are hurt. I feel like he shouldn't of even asked and he says he just asked a simple question.

Confused

Sunday 23rd of October 2022

So after almost 10 Years, we are having an issue with disrespect. He constantly tells me I am disrespectful to him and will shut me down and tell me no wonder why my previous marriage didn’t work and that it was because I didn’t know how to be a wife. The latest “disrespect” was me saying that he can make time for HIS family and to go drink with a cousin but can not make time to spend a date night with me. I have not had a date night with him in over 5 months and the one we had was a conference for our business that did not entitle children. I am always home with the kids or working for our business, I do nothing outside of my family for me. Everything is about his dreams and what he wants to accomplish. I have gotten the cold shoulder and berated to the point of telling me no one would accept me and my 4 children and I have nothing to show without him. I have gone through extensive trauma in my history and years of therapy to over come those things but feel like he’s just knocking me back down.

Aching Heart

Monday 3rd of October 2022

I have been married for 20 years & have 3 boys who are my constant worry & angst. In 2009 I found out my husband had been in multiple affairs, along with registering on 6 different dating/sex/hook-up websites. At the time, my sons were 7, 5 & 3, I couldn’t imagine raising them by myself. Throughout pretending to want to work things out, he continued to cheat. When he wasn’t sleeping around, he was talking to other women, telling them how much he loves & wanted to “taste” them. Even now, things are not the same because I have grown to detest him. My respect for him is non-existent & all I think about is the day I can ask him for divorce. I am so damn angry & I fear I grow more angry every day. He wants to “move” as if nothing ever happened & he doesn’t get it that I can’t move on due to he destroying any trust/respect I had. He can’t even tell me what he plans to do differently to avoid the pattern. He replied, “I know what I need to do.” Before I know it, he was back to his cheating ways. What I don’t understand is why I have such a somewhat difficult time just letting go. All that he has done to injure me mentally & emotionally, I still question myself so much. I feel like a fool, all these years and I’m still here. I feel as if I’m just daydreaming thru my life; definitely not living the life I imagined. I’m tired & sick of being tired & sick. I’m mostly afraid that my kids will never forgive me or hate me. I’m going to be 50 in a few years, I want to spend whatever time I have left with someone who values me, respects me & makes me feel worthy.

Felicia M

Thursday 8th of February 2024

@Aching Heart, I think you owe to your sons as much as you owe it to yourself to leave this man. Otherwise your sons may grow up thinking this is an acceptable way to treat their wives. I understand how hard it will be, but think of the positive future ahead of you when you do find the courage to walk.

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