How happy you think you are and how happy you are?
Losing yourself in the relationship is the most common thing ever that could happen. In the name of Happiness, we often forget what we like, what we want and who we are. If you’re not sure what’s going on in your head, check below for the signs that you are losing yourself in the relationship. Please, add something if I’ve missed it.
You forgot your friends
It’s one of the first things you will do when the process of losing yourself start. Getting messages like “Are you alive”, “What’s going on with you”, “Long time no see” etc. is a clear sign your friends miss you. Yes, it’s okay to focus more on your relationship, especially if it’s serious. But forgetting and ignoring your friends for a long time is not alright. A healthy relationship will give you the time you need to spend with other people as well. Don’t forget your friends were next to you in the hard times of your life. They may need you now.
You never have time for yourself
Even if you’re struggling with seeing your friends, not having time for your personality is a bigger crime. The time for yourself is the most precious thing ever.
I learned that in a hard way. In that time we find ourselves. You can go to do your hair, have a massage, read a book, watch a film alone, do yoga or dance in your room. You know better than me what to do. Unless you’re married with three kids and have a dog and a cat, there are not many excuses for you not to have time for yourself. If you don’t remember the last time, you enjoyed your company than something is wrong. Ignoring your needs and hobbies does not help your relationship grow. It kills it. And a relationship that doesn’t allow you to be happy with yourself takes away you from.. well – you!
You gave up your plans and dreams
Did you have an amazing plan for your future? To go and visit every capital in Europe, to go to college or start that salsa classes you’ve always wanted to? When did you stop wanting those things? And why? Because they don’t fit in the other person’s world? Giving up your dreams and changing your plans for the future are signs that you have totally lost yourself in that relationship. Your partner’s goals are important. So do yours! The most amazing thing in a relationship is when both partners work in making their dreams come true. To help the other with his plans and to feel his support about yours is what we call love. No one is more important than the other, and everybody’s dreams can come true.
You wait for your partner’s approval before making any step in your life
That sounds so wrong. I don’t even feel the need to explain why is wrong. Like I said above – the relationship is between two people where both are equally important. Every day we face so many situations we have to make decisions about. And not many of them should be done with the approval of the other. Of course, if you have to decide where to go on your next holiday – you should do it with your loved one. But decisions that affect your life should be made by you and only you. Do not be afraid to be independent; this is your life. You just share your time with the other.
You often keep your opinion to yourself
Do you feel like it’s better to shut your mouth than to speak out what you think? Do you struggle to explain yourself and feel that your partner is not going to understand you? You are on the way of losing yourself. Your thoughts are valuable and keeping them to yourself is a sign that you’re losing yourself in the relationship. If you feel that your opinion doesn’t matter to the other and he or she doesn’t take it serious enough, the problem is not in your opinion. Respect and communication are two of the keys to a healthy and happy relationship. Don’t allow to your inner self to stay hidden and do not be afraid to speak out. Our words describe what we are.
The person you use to be has nothing in common with the person you are now
It’s sad how much time we can lose until we realise that we have lost ourselves in the relationship. If your friends and family keep telling you how much you’ve changed, you should probably listen carefully. Usually, the others around us see better and faster than us when something goes wrong. You can easily make a self-check as well. Do you still do the things you use to do? Do you still like the same movies, food, music? We all change, I agree. But every change should come from inside, not outside. If you stop some of your hobbies because it doesn’t fit in the other’s life, so you have lost yourself in the relationship.
Being in love is amazing. Sharing your life, emotions, thoughts and dreams is even better. Feel free to be yourself and feel free to love in your way. There is nothing more important than your uniqueness, and the world needs you exactly the way you are. So don’t be afraid to be.. you!