Are you getting consumed by your relationship?
What are the signs you are losing yourself in a relationship?
In fact, what does “losing yourself in a relationship” mean? How could you lose yourself when in a relationship with someone you care about?
Why would you worry about losing yourself if the only thing you do is trying to be happy with him?
Today, we are going to talk about the top seven signs you are losing yourself in your relationship.
Let’s dive in.
1. You forgot about your friends
Ok, you’re in love. Your relationship is flourishing. Everything is so interesting. Way more interesting than hanging out with your good old friends.
Yeah, but what if you’re overdoing it?
Getting messages like “Are you alive?” “What’s going on with you?” “Long time no see!” etc. is a clear sign your friends miss you.
Yes, it’s okay to focus more on your relationship, especially if it’s serious.
But forgetting and ignoring your closest people for a long time is not alright.
When you’re part of a healthy relationship, you will have time for the people around you. In fact, your partner will want you to spend time with your friends.
2. You never have time for yourself
Even if you’re struggling with seeing your friends, not having time for yourself is a bigger crime.
When we are alone with ourselves, we learn to listen better to what we need. We manage to do all those little things that speak of self-love.
You could go to do your hair, have a massage, read a book, watch a film alone, do yoga or dance in your room. You could even just be bored at home, and that’s good too.
If you don’t remember the last time, you enjoyed your own company then you’re probably losing yourself in the relationship.
Never ignore your needs as that will only damage your happy relationship.
3. You gave up on your plans and dreams
Did you have an amazing plan for your future?
What happened to your plans to visit every capital in Europe, to go to college or start that salsa classes you’ve always wanted to?
When did you stop wanting all those things? And why?
Is it because they don’t fit in the other person’s world?
Giving up your dreams and changing your plans for the future are signs that you have totally lost yourself in that relationship.
Your partner’s goals are important. So do yours!
None of the partners is more important than the other.
The most amazing thing in a relationship is when both partners work in making their dreams come true. To help your loved one with his life goals and to feel his support about yours is what we call love.
What if you feel like your dreams are ignored by him?
4. You wait for your partner’s approval before doing anything
That sounds so wrong, and I don’t even feel the need to explain why it is wrong.
As I said, the relationship is between two people, where both are equally important.
Waiting for someone else’s approval on how to spend your life speaks of clear manipulation and a toxic relationship. It’s also a sign you are losing yourself in that relationship, and it’s time to fix it.
At the beginning of your relationship, there aren’t too many things to coordinate with your new partner. Probably the only thing you should be coordinating is where to go for a date and how to spend your weekends.
You are still two different people that need time to adjust to one another. Before you prove you have future together your personal decisions are exactly that – personal. You certainly don’t need anyone’s permission before doing anything.
However, if you feel the need to get his approval – yes, you’ve lost yourself in the relationship. It’s time to rethink your life choices.
5. You often keep your opinion to yourself
Do you feel like it’s better to shut your mouth than to speak out what you think?
Do you struggle to explain yourself and feel that your partner is not going to understand you?
In that case, you are on the way of losing yourself in your relationship.
Even worse – you are in an unhealthy relationship, and you must seek a way out of it.
Your thoughts are valuable and keeping them to yourself means you don’t feel like they will be appreciated.
If you feel that your opinion doesn’t matter to the other and he doesn’t take it serious enough, the problem is not, in your opinion.
Respect and communication are two of the keys to a healthy and happy relationship. Don’t allow your inner self to stay hidden and do not be afraid to speak out. Our words describe what we are.
6. The person you use to be has nothing in common with the person you are now
It’s sad how much time we can lose until we realise that we have lost ourselves in a relationship. If your
friends and family keep telling you how much you’ve changed, you should probably listen carefully.
Usually, the others around us analyze the situation better than us and notice faster if something is wrong.
You can easily check for yourself here.
Do you still do the things you use to do? Do you still like the same movies, food, music? We all change, I agree. However, every change should come from inside, not outside. If you stop some of your hobbies because it doesn’t fit in the other’s life, so you have lost yourself in the relationship.
Being in love is amazing. Sharing your life, emotions, thoughts and dreams is even better. Feel free to be yourself and feel free to love in your way. There is nothing more important than your uniqueness, and the world needs you exactly the way you are. So don’t be afraid to be.. you!
7. You get consumed by the relationship too much
What if there’s nothing wrong with him?
What if t’s you that just get too consumed by the relationship?
Maybe your guy just wants to spend some quality time with you, and you are always there for him. If that means you should cancel or ignore your plans, you do it, and he doesn’t even know about it.
Do you feel like you’re so obsessed with your new love that nothing else is exciting enough?
Are you saying Yes to everything and No to anyone else, just to be close to him and spend time together?
If you answered positively to these questions then you must already know – you’ve lost yourself in the relationship.
That type of behaviour could only bring you pain soon.
First of all, you miss on the opportunity to set boundaries with your partner. And trust me, one day you will need these boundaries.
Second, by praising the other too much and neglecting your own life, you risk of getting into the trap of a one-sided relationship. It’s easy to slip and ignore the red flags at the beginning, especially if the reason for all that is you.
Bonus sign you are losing yourself in a relationship
Let me ask you a few honest questions and, I need to answer very quietly, in your head.
Have you lost the connection with yourself?
Do you feel like there’s an old friend you haven’t seen in a while?
Do you have the time and the freedom to nourish that old friend the way you used to?
I have a fair share of relationships behind my back. At the beginning of every relationship, you make compromises with your lifestyle. After all, you still have the same 24 hours, the same job and you need to keep living your life. On top of that, now there’s someone special you need to give a chance to. You must make the time for him.
But let me give you an advice: Never make the time for him if the price is your self-love, personal growth or inner peace.
If you need to sacrifice any of these to be with him, then you will sooner or later lose yourself in the relationship.
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