You Are Doomed If You Don’t Grow These 10 Healthy Relationship Habits

Happy Couples Practice These Healthy Relationship Habits

Let me tell you a story about June and John and their healthy relationship habits.

June and John are the real names of the couple that lives in the house next to ours.

June and John are in their 70s, and when you see them, there’s only one thought in your head: “They are meant for each other.”

Just imagine.

He is witty and sometimes grumpy, he loves his garden and waters it 4 times a day during the summer days.

Her best time of the day is when she sits down on the sofa with a book in her hands.

They both shout after their naughty dog every day. I’ve never heard them arguing, but I guess after almost 50 years of marriage that’s something you can’t measure – most elderly people just mumble something short and powerful to make their spouse get the point.

To top it off…

I’ve never seen any of them alone

My office has a view of the street, and I could see them going out on a walk every morning.

Together.

Holding hands.

He supports her gently and slows down while she slightly limps crossing the street. Their children visit them every weekend and stay for lunch or dinner. June and John walk them out to the car after the meal and repeat at least 10 times “Bye Bye”, even after the car already takes the turn at the end of the street.

Then, John lets June go back inside first, and the door shuts behind them, holding the memories of a secret we all want to know.

The secret of having a successful and happy relationship that leads to a long marriage.

Honestly…

Every time I tell myself “I want that too!

I want the walks. I want a beautiful garden. I want children that visit us weekly. I agree to limp while walking down the street as long as I feel the support of my man. I want a long marriage and even after 50 years of life together to still appreciate and help each other. I want it!”

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10 Habits of Every Strong Relationship

Marriage goals. Relationship goals.

Ok, I know what you’re thinking.

There is no one way to make a relationship work.

And you’d be right.

But guess what!

There are simple things that could make the journey smoother.

So let’s take a closer look through all of the 10 healthy relationship habits you must develop to build a healthy and strong partnership with your loved one.

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1. Honesty When Things Go Wrong

First of all…

Being honest about our feelings when they are positive and blooming is easy.

Encouraging each other is easy.

After all…

Our main priority of spending our lives together is to help each other grow and develop into the best versions of ourselves. You are with your partner because you love the way he makes you feel. And you appreciate yourself a little bit more because he loves you back.

Believe it or not, when things go wrong (and they occasionally do) we tend to withdraw our honesty very fast.

Here’s a question for you:

Would you still criticize your partner if there’s a risk to offend him? Do you usually wait for him to “learn his lesson” before you tell him “I told you so.”?

Needless to say…

Healthy relationships are impossible if we aren’t honest with each other, even when there’s a good chance to offend our partner.

Honesty in love isn’t about pushing the other into the direction we think it’s right, but instead, lovingly sharing even our negative opinion.

I asked June and John to tell me what their secret is. They looked at me like I’m crazy and things like that cannot be summarised in one word. Yet, they said the same word at the same time.

And that’s the second habit of a healthy relationship.

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2. Compromises

Some people call it a sacrifice.

The difference is that when we think of a sacrifice, it gives us the epic feeling that we’ve done something exceptional and we need a reward.

On the other hand, a compromise is the decisions that help us achieve the overall happiness. Compromise serves the bigger picture and loses its form with the years. A sacrifice is a personal act that contradicts with our beliefs and almost makes our souls bleed while performing it.

Let me say this straight.

Compromise is the most important healthy relationship habit we must nurture.

It means understanding the other when we really don’t want to. Compromise is giving up on something small for the glory of the big things in life.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, every relationship has a few key points – challenges that both people face and they should compromise with something.

When the compromise happen, and it’s appreciated it doesn’t feel like a burden anymore.

I tell you what though:

Disclaimer: There are certain beliefs and decisions you should never compromise with, and your partner shouldn’t push you to. Some examples: religion, should you have children or not, should you get married or not, should you give up on personal space, freedom or self-care and respect. These aren’t examples of compromises but an immediate deal-breaker you mustn’t ignore.

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3. Sharing Fears

Look:

We fight our fears daily.

My fears could be nothing like my partner’s fears, but I still feel comfortable sharing them with him. You should too.

In fact…

Understanding and respect shine in their best in the moments we talk about our fears.

Answer the following questions for yourself:

Do you feel free to express yourself in front of the other?

Do you show empathy and compassion if your partner opens up in front of you?

If not, encourage him to talk about them.

You see…

It’s not that you have to know, but it could be an indication of him holding back for some reason.

Therefore, gently start by sharing your fears, talking about them and encourage him to do the same. If he doesn’t – don’t push.

Instead, make him feel comfortable and let him know that you won’t judge or laugh at him.

Showing vulnerability is the key to establishing a strong bond, and no healthy relationship exists without it.

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10 Habits of Thriving Relationship

4. Reconnecting Daily

News flash:

The “smart-this-smart-that” world we live in gives us countless options to reconnect with each other every day.

Here’s an idea: Send a quick text message to brighten your partner’s day a little bit more.

Of course, he could feel overwhelmed by your 103 text messages and skip your next 15 calls for the day. Remember, less is more.

Sound silly? It’s not.

The healthiest relationships out there are the ones where both people use the little windows in their busy lives to let the other know they think about him.

And while this is kind of the easiest habit of all, the next one is probably the hardest one.

Ready?

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5. Disconnect Daily

Nope, I’m not playing any games with your mind.

But I am telling you that your phone, the TV, the Internet and Social Media kill your relationship every day.

Annoying, isn’t it?

The very same thing that keeps us connected to each other disconnects us with the same vast power.

What’s the magic formula?

Don’t ditch your devices.

Instead, give them less power over you.

How?

Your phone isn’t the natural extension of your hand. Nothing life-changing is going to happen on the TV show you watch every night instead of going to hug your partner. None of this truly matters to you.

But you know what?

Your absence of the other’s life matters to them.

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6. Quality Time Together

One thing led to the other.

Our healthy relationship habit Number 6 touches not just spending time with each other but spending quality time together.

Fact is, watching films could be nice once a week, but spending three hours in front of the TV every evening adds no quality time to your relationship.

What is it then?

Talking about your dreams, fears and how your day was is quality time together.

Going out on a walk too.

Working on a home project side by side is quality time.

Cooking, going out with friends or just the two of you… there are many ways to spend your time in a better way.

Do you?

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7. Developing Small Rituals Together

Let’s dig a little bit deeper.

June and John go on a walk around the neighbourhood every morning.

I wake up with my partner every morning at 2:30 to make him coffee and kiss him goodbye (I explain why I do this crazy thing in this post about the secret a security guard told me over 5 years ago).

What is your small daily ritual?

Do you have one?

Make no mistake about it.

Your rituals or small habits build precious moments and keep them in your memories forever. They are “the good times” you often think about. It’s the closeness, the intimate feeling of “just the two of us” that bonds you stronger.

If you don’t have your own relationship habit, maybe some of these 14 Mornings of Romantic Relationship Habits could help you choose.

Now, let’s keep going.

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Habits Strong Relationship Practice

8. Respecting the Other’s Personal Space

Of course, you love each other and want to spend every second of your free time together.

For a while.

However, sooner or later your relationship goes into a “settled mode”, and you don’t feel the urge of dedicating 24hours of your day to the other person every single day.

You need your space.

He needs his space.

Respect that and expect respect from his side too.

In fact…

Having time for yourself helps you go back into your partner’s arms happier to see him.

And the best part?

It makes him miss you a little bit too.

Have moments alone. Enjoy them. Have moments together. Enjoy them.

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9.Keeping Your Promises

I write about this one all the time.

Why?

I had a few relationships with men who didn’t respect their own promises and didn’t keep them.

Wouldn’t you agree that it’s frustrating to be with someone who doesn’t do what he says he’ll do?

In the beginning, you might feel disappointed.

Then you’ll get used to it.

In the end, you’ll lose trust in them.

The ugly truth?

No relationship could survive if one of the partners constantly brakes his promises.

And talking about trust…

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10. Trust

This isn’t a surprise to you, is it?

Trust and strong, healthy relationship go together no matter in which part of the world you live in.

And when I talk about trust I mean the 100% unquestionable trust you have in the other that looks ridiculous in the eyes of many people. That’s the trust you need to build.

Sound silly?

It’s the only trust that’s worth to build.

It takes time. It requires work from both sides but pays off in the best possible way.

And that’s the last one of the healthy relationship habits you must develop for a happy love life. How many did you tick off? Did any of these habits ring a warning bell in your head? Share with me in the comments.

And yes, I write this early in the morning and June and John are out on their walk.

What to do next?

If you enjoyed reading this post and you’re curious what else could help you build a strong and meaningful relationship, see what else I have on the subject:

Consider subscribing to this blog for more relationship tips on how to create the love life of your dreams.

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6 thoughts on “You Are Doomed If You Don’t Grow These 10 Healthy Relationship Habits”

  1. Hi Rachel, Loved this post, so spot on.
    It’s so funny that we have very similar neighbors next to us. In their 70s, Hans is always in their beautiful garden, Ann prefers to stay inside, they go to Spanish language course and flute lessons together and they ride the bike together at the weekend 🙂 They are so nice.
    Communication, compromises, small rituals, quality time together, trust and giving each other space (we are both introverts :-)) are so important. I’m also happy to say that my partner and me can tick off all 10 habits, and been happy together for 14 years 🙂
    Rita recently posted…Valentin napi vegán protein reggelikMy Profile

    1. Hi Rita. Thanks for your comment. Aww, that’s so amazing that you have such a great relationship with your partner. Every little thing adds up to create the perfect moments we spend together. And your neighbours sound like ours 🙂 Bless them, I think that there are many things we could learn from couples like them.

  2. Long term relationships and love in general are loyalty, sacrifice and compromise. You hit every single point in this article. And number 9 is a huge one. Don’t make promises you can’t keep and the ones you do make. Make sure you fulfill them. Great Article.

    1. Exactly! False promises are an absolute trust-killer in the relationship. Thank you for your comment 🙂

  3. Hi Rachel, I think every relationship is different, however I believe it should be healthy in a way that both couple should maintain to keep the love and relationship stronger. Especially for married couples because this is a lifetime commitment. Having rocks and bumps is normal, however if both is willing to compromise, listen to each other and communicate effectively then it will work out no matter how difficult the situation is. It takes TWO to work things out, not just one.
    This post has inspires me to appreciate more my husband. And YES, I am happy to say that me and my husband is practicing all those 10 habits that keeps our relationship healthy and happy.

    Lovelots,
    Rosanna

    1. Hi Rosanna, I’m so happy this post inspired you to appreciate your husband even more. You are right – communication, compromises and communication are the very essentials to a happy and long-lasting marriage. It does take two to dance the tango, right? 🙂

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