The feeling of being ghosted, why men ghost and how to get over it…
Do you want to smash your phone into pieces, find that guy that had just ghosted you and slap his face with something heavy?
Or maybe you want a simple explanation so you could move on with your life?
Or to slap him first and then to ask for explanation…?
I know, so many mixed feelings when it comes to men. And setting him on fire sounds like the best way to get over being ghosted by one of them…
In this post, I’d like to point out the most common reasons why men ghost you, how to get over being ghosted and advise you what your options are to change this!
Why men ghost women?
Isn’t it more than obvious that’s immature and rude? They wouldn’t want this to happen to them. So would they do it to someone else?
Before you start thinking you’ve got anger issues, let’s go through some needed points.
We’ll think of the revenge after that.
What does ghosting mean in dating?
When a man ghosted you, it means he just disappeared.
No phone call, no explanation, no signs of splitting up that you missed… nothing!
Everything was fine. You thought there was chemistry between the two of you. However, one day he just stopped calling, he stopped answering his phone, and you never saw him again.
At first, you believed something happened to him. After you saw him posting on the social media as usual (or after you found out he’d blocked you), it hit you. You’ve just been ghosted. Congratulations!
Does it feel like a cold shower in the middle of the night?
Ghosting sucks! I’m not going to be polite about it. You and I know, politeness is the last thing that crosses your mind right now.
Ghosting is rude.
Ghosting is immature.
Ghosting leaves you offended, ashamed, angry and confused.
You wonder if you’ve missed any signs he’s not interested.
You are trying to find mutual friends and ask them if they know something you don’t.
You even consider finding this “ghost” and confronting him in front of his friends/family/colleagues so he could realise
he’s a piece of… he did wrong by you.
Did I say mixed feelings?
Related posts for later:
- 8 SECRETS TO HELP YOU FINALLY MOVE ON AFTER A BREAKUP
- HOW TO ANSWER TO HIS ANNOYING MIXED SIGNALS
- THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND LOVE
- 8 INSANELY OBVIOUS REASONS MEN PULL AWAY FROM YOU
- 7 SIGNS YOU COULD HAVE DONE BETTER ON THE FIRST DATE
Why men ghost?
Ok, before this post goes into the “I hate men” direction (I don’t, btw), I will try to explain the situation from a man’s point of view.
I don’t defend this type of behaviour.
I do not agree nor I approve someone to vanish away like that.
Moreover, I would freak out if some of my male friends admit they’d ghost a girl.
However, every type of behaviour has its explanation, a reason behind the action. Let’s find out why men ghost.
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He wasn’t brought up right
I’m not blaming the guy’s parents; they might have tried their best back in the days. However, there’s always a big chance he wasn’t taught to take responsibility.
He avoided mentioning he doesn’t want to date you anymore? He skipped the breaking up part and disappeared without explanation? This is what I call a lack of good manners.
All that is hiding from the responsibility to do things the right way.
I’ve ended more than just a few relationships or few-dates-situations. I’m a shy person who gets blushed ten times a day. However, when I had to end any of the relationships, I’d tell it to the other person.
It’s just not fair to pretend nothing happened. It’s what I call respect for another human being.
We all want to be treated well, no matter the situation. In return of that wish, all we could do is to handle well the people around us. No matter the situation.
With that said, I’ll stay behind my “he wasn’t brought up right” statement. There are essential manners we never forget. “Thank you!”, “Please.” and “I am sorry.” are on the same line with “I don’t want to go further in our relationship.” A guy who ghosted you hasn’t been brought up well or wasn’t raised to respect people enough.
Scared of your tears
I know it sounds funny to us, women.
Men ARE scared of women’s tears. Our cry scares them more than a potential loss of hair over the years.
Men don’t know how to react when a woman is crying. They don’t know what to do or say to make her feel better.
Initially, men would do anything they could, as long as they don’t have to deal with your tears… They’d ghost you because of that too…
He doesn’t want to hurt you
When a man ghost you, he doesn’t want to hurt you…
Ok, that’s not the whole truth!
He doesn’t want to see you hurt and doesn’t want to be the reason you are hurt. He might be thinking you’d forget about him faster if he slips away from your life instead of going into drama-conversations.
Oh, yeah… the drama. Why men ghost? They avoid the drama! They hate to explain themselves!
If a guy ghosted you – he probably just wanted to skip the drama. Immature! Cowardly! A fact!
He’s just immature
Well, when a guy ghosted you, at least you know – you weren’t dating a man. You were dating a boy.
A growing up man with a developed personality and character, wouldn’t disappear from any woman’s life just like that.
He was simply a boy. Do you know those little boys that throw a stone and then run? Well, you dated the adult version. Be happy he’s out of your life.
How to react when a man ghosted you? Should you reach out to him?
Let’s say you dated a guy for a few times. Then he didn’t call you anymore. You sent him a message, you called him, he never answered.
What should you do after that? Should you find him? Should you keep calling him or try to find mutual friends?
After you make sure he’s alive and alright (which is important, btw, let’s be humans), you have two options:
First, you could send him a simple message, which will help you have your closure of the things.
If having a closure is crucial to you, do it politely.
I am far away from the idea to send him a nasty text explaining all the 356 reasons he’s a coward. However, you could point out it was a pleasure knowing him, and you wish him the best. In the end, put a smiling emoticon and hit the Send button.
Even if you are far away from the emoji’s expression and all you want is to set him on fire and dance around him, a month or a year from this day, you will be grateful you chose the other option.
Ghost him back… uh, sure!
Your second option is to stop calling, texting and asking questions.
The sooner you do it, the better. Hug your pride and realise he is not the person you would want to be with. Lift your head up and restrict yourself from depressing yourself and ruining your sunny days with an immature guy who doesn’t know how to deal with women.
Why men ghost? They don’t know how to communicate with women!
When a guy ghosted you, ghost him back. Immediately after you realise he’d stopped all the communication, cut him off from your side too. He’s not worth the time and feelings. Your anxiety and depression will hurt only you.
There is a chance to come back around… I have an idea what to do about it and will share it in a bit.
What if men ghost you all the time?
Ok, it’s not just this one guy!
It’s the previous one as well… Oh, and the one before him!
It’s almost every guy you’ve ever dated (or at least in the last few years).
What are the chances to pick every time someone who can’t wait to ghost you after a few dates? Very small.
The answer to your “Why men ghost me?”
You probably chase the same type of men all the time
Yes, the guys who ghost women are a particular type.
They had a bunch of red flags you ignored.
Their immaturity was poking your eyes, but you thought it’s what makes them so cute.
Have a look at my post 11 Toxic Types of Guys to Never Date. Most of them would gladly ghost you because they’re still those boys who throw the stones and run.
Change your perception of what the perfect partner for you is. I will do a helpful post on that topic very soon, so make sure you subscribe to my blog, and I will notify you when that happens.
Also, if you want to know what other experts think about this topic, I recommend you have a look at Why He Disappeared from Evan Marc Katz. I went through the book a while ago and can’t stop myself from recommending it to the ladies around me. I even reviewed it here for the sake of my readers.
Why men ghost and then come back… What to do?
Well, that’s not a surprise?
He disappeared for a few weeks or months and then suddenly came back to try and fix the things?
Can you guess what happened?
He most certainly had another option he wanted to try first. Something had gone wrong there, so he is back to you. Yes, you are just an option, so I if I were you, I would seriously consider if he deserves another chance to see me.
I’d like to hear what you think about why men ghost? What would you do? Write in the comments below would you give him another chance if he comes back or you’d laugh and continue living your life.