Is There A Secret to Having A Great Relationship? Or 100 Simple Secrets?
To answer this question you have to be at least 93 years old with a set date for your platinum anniversary and be a proud owner of those cute old-people faces that we know from children’s storybooks and Christmas movies.
Or you have to be David Niven, Ph.D and have the patience to read lots of scientific researches and having the time to interview happy couples around the world.
Well, if you are none of them (what are the odds…!), then 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships is your way to go.
Written n 2006, this small book is one of those reads, you just keep on your bedside table and refer to it every now and then.
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What’s so secret about the great relationship? I could answer that!
Don’t hate me, I’ll explain.
100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships that everyone knows…
... yet, we all forget them.
Have you ever promised yourself to not shout at your partner anymore but on the next day you catch yourself nagging about something you won’t remember two weeks from now?
Have you ever been trapped in your past and feel like you’re doomed of having one bad relationship after another? At the same time, you are sure that’s just nonsense talk of your broken heart?
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Have you ever insisted your partner to be perfect in something when you are aware you aren’t perfect at it?
Have you ever…?
We are just humans after all.
Improving our inner selves, our relationships, our present and our future is an ongoing process that never ends. At least, it shouldn’t.
Therefore, I recommend you having 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships by your side.
The information in it isn’t something you don’t already know.
There’s almost nothing new to learn.
Yet, there’s a lot to remind yourself and a lot to put in practice.
However, enough it the talks. Let’s see what’s wrong or right with this book.
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Quick read – you need not more than a few hours to go through it.
- Loads of facts which is presented at the end of each chapter – one or two short sentences that tell the reader what scientists have found out about great relationships.
- Each chapter is informative and engaging with a real-life story as a significant part of it – I like real-life stories as examples in self-help books.
- There is no story-line between the chapters, so it’s a book you could pick in the morning, open on a random page and use as daily inspiration.
Contains excellent insights without excess information.
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- 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationship is more inspirational than a problem-solving book.
- Not too much “new information” in it. Although, there’s always a thing or two to be learned from every book.
My Review of The Book
I must admit, I ordered two other Niven’s books before I got to 100 Simple Secrets to Great Relationships, due to the fact I was misreading the full name of the books. (Silly me!) However, when I got to the right one, I already knew what to expect as I went through the other two before that.
The book is exactly what it says – 100 simple chapters with known and unknown secrets (pieces of advice) how to create and maintain a healthy relationship.
What I enjoyed the most was the fact it was effortless to read, fast to go through, packed with engaging stories (100 of them to be exact) and simple statistics formatted in one-two sentences per chapter – nothing annoying or hard to comprehend.
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While you might not be shocked by the information in the book as it could happen with Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, this little book will give you useful information and has all the traits to serve you as an inspirational a-chapter-a-day book.
Actually, that’s the way I recommend you to read it!
Don’t start with Chapter 1 but just close your eyes and open a random page – makes it much more pleasant and has the element of surprise and daily guidance.
Let me quote just a few of the favourite paragraphs I found in 100 Simple Secrets to Great Relationships:
“Your relationship history is not your relationship future. Your relationship future is to limited by your experiences of the past or by your disappointments of the past…” I would recommend you getting this book even if it was because of this single sentence only!
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“…thoughtful love and careful conflict are two sides of the same coin. Loving well build up reservoirs of fondness that help couples get through tough times; arguing well avoids the kind of scorched-earth disagreements that drain that reservoir dry…”
“In a relationship, we don’t need everything to be perfect. (…) What we do need is the constant ability to see the potential for improvement, the potential for resolution of difficulties…”
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“If you were purchasing a house, you would pay attention to the features that matter most to you. But when we are thinking about potential mates, we pay the most attention to the things that matter the least to us in the long run…”
Who is this book for?
You could be in a search for love, and you will still find inspiration on how to do it (as the quote from chapter 68 shows you).
If you are in a new relationship, the inspirational guide will point you in the right direction.
If you are in a long-term relationship (or even married), you could read out loud to your partner a chapter a day and then discuss it.
There are plenty of options on how to work with this little book, and that’s why I recommend 100 Simple Secrets to Great Relationships to you. You just can’t go wrong with it.
Other Books by David Niven: