10 Things You Do That Hurt Him But He Won’t Tell You

Everyone is prone to get hurt – and this includes men in particular. Their sense of pride is directly linked to their self-confidence and perceived self-worth.

Even the toughest of guys have their weak spots, which hurt when injured. Unsurprisingly, because of the way we are taught to perceive men (mainly toxic masculinity), we do plenty of hurtful things without even realizing we’re doing them.

The following list outlines the top 10 things you do that hurt him and his feelings if you aren’t careful.

While some of them seem pretty obvious, others might surprise you. Have a read – do you discover yourself in any of the behaviors I have highlighted?

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1. Ignoring his opinions hurts him

Relationships are built on mutual respect, and their driving power is compromise.

You need to value your partner’s opinions and respect them. Otherwise, you risk hurting his feelings and making him feel as if his wants and needs don’t matter to you.

Neglecting the other’s opinion is always dangerous in a relationship; however, men are particularly sensitive to that. We, women, often try to be a bit too controlling and, at some point, start deciding things for our partners. This can make them feel trapped and unheard, which can definitely cause pain and frustration. 

A great tip I use with my partner all the time would be to listen to him carefully and then say, “I fully understand what you mean, and I agree with you…” Then I would either put his advice into practice or ask more questions that would eventually modify the final decision to fit both of us.

2. You hurt him by hiding your true feelings

Were you ever irritated to the point that your partner notices the change in your mood and asks what’s wrong, only for you to tell him that “It’s nothing!”? Yeah, I do that too!

If you recognize yourself in this situation, you aren’t the only one. We often tend to bottle our feelings or tone them down, but contrary to our beliefs, men can pick up when something’s wrong, so our facade doesn’t fool them.

Instead, it makes them feel hurt and confused about why we don’t want to share whatever is on our minds with them. To him, this communicates distrust and can make him feel insecure about your relationship. 

Here’s a tip for you. If you are trying to process your emotions, just be honest with him. Admit that you aren’t okay with something and either communicate a solution or ask him for some time to cool down. Trust me; he will appreciate your take on this and give you as much time as needed.

3. Jumping to conclusions if hurtful and unfair

There are countless anecdotes and TV tropes about how women are quick to jump to conclusions.

Besides being the cause of many laughs, these situations often resonate with us a lot since they are valid for the most part.

If you are the kind of woman that wastes no time in accusing your partner of nearly every little thing, this point is for you. From my experience, this comes as a sense of insecurity and a lack of self-worth.

So, next time you feel the urge to start pointing fingers, try to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend instead. I am sure he will reassure you that there is nothing to worry about.

4. Controlling him (you know that’s not okay)

You need to understand and accept that each side of the relationship has its right to personal space.

Some women are completely fine and chill about that, while others seek to infiltrate every single moment of their partner’s life. Some take things as far as restricting their partner from hanging out with his friends, which, as you can imagine, is too much.

You want to understand that your boyfriend is not your property and has a right to a personal life outside your relationship. Being dependant on him is another major red flag for men – whatever your reasons may be, the constant breathing in your partner’s neck will leave its toll on your relationship. 

5. His feelings a hurt when you are name-calling him

When I was a child, my grandmother used to say, “Namecalling is only for those who feel too weak to talk with facts or express their feelings properly!“.

Things can get heated every once in a while, but you should be careful of saying things you don’t really mean, no matter how emotional the argument gets.

It’s normal for people to slip up during the conflict, but this can still leave a wound in your partner’s mind. After the argument has settled down and you are on good terms again, he will inevitably ponder whether or not you really meant what you said. 

6. Betraying his trust

Trust in a relationship can be broken in many different ways, such as namecalling and straight-up lying.

However, we are well aware of the ultimate betrayal that anyone dreads experiencing – cheating in any form. Unfaithful behavior can occur both physically and emotionally, but no matter what the case with you is, it is unpleasant, to say the least.

Once broken, trust can take a tremendous amount of effort and work to be rebuilt. And even if you feel like you are making progress, it’s likely that things between you will never be the same again. 

7. Trying to change him hurts him

Men are very sensitive to when women try to change them but unfortunately, this is something that can occur quite often.

The reason behind this is that when a woman loves a man, she feels it’s her duty to help him in the growth and improvement of how he handles life. In reality, however, when a man’s partner offers unwanted advice or suggests points of improvement, he hears that she doesn’t believe in his expertise and capabilities.

Remember that your man doesn’t need your help unless he asks for it – what he really wants is your acceptance. 

8. Being too critical of him 

We all have things that we don’t like about our partners, and that’s perfectly normal. In fact, seeing his flaws is a sign of a healthy relationship where you understand that nobody’s perfect.

What’s not okay is when you forget that your beau is just a human like you and begin nitpicking every slight imperfection of his that annoys you.

While it can be tempting to criticize their shortcomings, don’t forget that sometimes words can be very hurtful. Your partner might take your criticism as a prompt that he isn’t good enough, which can make him feel insecure and start wondering what you’re even doing with him in the first place.

So try to accept your partner for who he is and learn to admire even his less-than-admirable side. 

9. Not being supportive 

This is one of the biggest things you do that hurt him.

If your boyfriend picked up a new hobby that he is super excited about or did something he is proud of, try to celebrate him accordingly.

Men are also seeking validation from the ones they love, and when they don’t receive it, it can lead them to doubt themselves. One of the signs that you really hurt him by neglecting his interest and not providing support is when he stops telling you about the things that excite him. 

10. Demonstrating how independent you are

Yes, we are all well aware of the independent woman trope by now. But keep in mind that men like to feel needed and as they provide for their women. If you can do everything yourself – and actively demonstrate it, he can start to feel unwanted and as if he isn’t being helpful to you.

There is nothing wrong with struggling to open a jar even if you are completely capable of opening it yourself, just to have him rush to your aid. This will make him feel needed, and his male ego will get a healthy boost out of the opportunity to take care of you. 

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10 Things You Do That Hurt Him But He Won’t Tell You