Your problems and my solutions on how to deal with mixed signals from a guy you like
Katy and John were introduced to each other by their friends. It was Saturday night, in the local club. Katy felt the attraction the moment she saw John. He was tall, fun and obviously the Alfa of the group. They danced, laughed, became friends on Facebook and started chatting on the very next day.
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John kept talking about how they have to go out on a date one day, but he was too busy to find a free day. They saw each other again after a week later, in the same club, with the same people around them. Everything was amazing, they had lots of fun and talked about going out on a date. Again.
But nothing happened. Again.
Although it was clear he likes her and she likes him, Katy felt a bit weird about the situation. They were chatting and showing mutual affection every time they saw each other. He was texting her often, but the relationship was not moving forward. After a few weeks of club-dating, they jumped in the bed and Katy thought that was it – they are finally together, officially.
Sadly, that was only in her head.
He didn’t have any time to go on dates, but he was assuring her he needs a good girl like her in his life and he’s happy he met her.
He was happy he met her, but their next three dates were again in the club, with the whole group around them, not alone, as she imagined it should be at the beginning… She didn’t know what’s going on. What were his feelings? Why would he claim he likes her but avoid spending time with her?
Eventually, Katy realised he was not going to start a proper relationship with her and cut him off. The whole story left a bad taste in her mouth for a long time.
Does that story sound familiar to you? Add or remove few aspects, but this is classic “he’s using you” story, full of “mixed signals from a guy you like”. Katy read his intentions wrong, John gave her a bunch of mixed signals, and no one was happy at the end of it.
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So, let’s talk about mixed signals from a guy around you and what to do about them.
- What are some examples of mixed signals from a guy? The short version of how it should be…
- You are more than capable of sending him away but how to be sure you’re not missing out on a chance of a fulfilling relationship?
- You’re in a dilemma if he’s worth the game or you should proceed with your life.
- You are unsure how to end this and keep the good vibes between the two of you.
- What if his mixed signals are mixed only to you? What if he just doesn’t know how to show his feelings?
- What if you are the one that sends the mixed signals? Have you thought of that option?
- Are those “just friends” signals? You are not sure if he likes you or he’s
What are some examples of mixed signals from a guy you like? The short version of how it should be.
Well, you saw some of the mixed signals you could get from the guy you fancy. Let’s add a few more:
- He texts you but then he doesn’t answer after you reply. For hours…
- He is playing “hot and cold” with you since like forever.
- He’s telling you he’s not ready for a relationship but yet, he flirts with you. He might even mention you are different than the rest of the girls around.
- He saw you’re shifting your attention toward someone else and immediately started flirting again with you…
- He tells you he doesn’t feel like having a relationship now but maybe one day… False hopes you could change his intentions storm your head every now and then.
Yep, if you recognised yourself into one or more of those situations – you are in a situation with mixed signals from a guy.
Welcome, and I hope you don’t stick around for too long…
Let’s be honest, you care about this guy and you wonder what to do.
You want to be with him but you wouldn’t accept to be his doll.
Should you just send him home to grow up and come back when he’s man enough to admit his true intentions?
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Should you keep the game going until one of you gets tired?
Should you confront him and ask him what is it that he wants from you?
The simple truth:
He’s giving you mixed signals because he’s just not into you the way you want him to be
He likes you! That’s a fact. If he’s around you – he likes you.
However, does he like you as girlfriend material or he wants to have someone who’s able to offer the fun when he needs it?
I bet it’s the second!
Example 1 He knows you want a relationship, but he’s not into that. Still, he likes you physically and knows if he admits it, he won’t get anything. That’s why he sends you mixed signals to create the illusion of a possible relationship. That was the case with Katy and John.
Example 2 Although he’s telling you he’s not ready for a relationship, he’s still flirting with you, and he’s more than happy going forward if you offer a warm bed tonight. He probably has few other “options” around him, and he’s running a contest.
Example 3 He didn’t text you for weeks, and now he did. You answered, and he didn’t reply for the next few hours or so. He’s trying his options. He wants to know if you’re still available. The last few weeks? Oh, he was just playing the same game with someone else!
Example 4 The moment you turned toward someone else he decided he’s going to flirt with you again? No, he didn’t realise how amazing you are after he lost you. He just likes the challenge to win you back. Nothing personal.
Did you notice the pattern? There’s a similarity in every example.
You and he want different things. Unlike you, he knows that, and that’s the reason he prefers to confuse you until he gets what he needs.
It’s really simple with how the things could go without mixed signals.
Here’s the short version without the mixed signals from a guy:
Boy likes a girl. Girl likes a boy. They show it to each other, and they go on a date. After the date, the girl still likes the boy, and the boy still likes the girl. They are going forward with another date, and if everything is still mutual at some point, they start a relationship.
The more extended version is to understand that you have worth and you know it, right? Assuming you said yes to that, take a moment to think if you’re worthy and he knows it, would he give you mixed signals?
Isn’t it more logical to just not miss his chance with you while he still has it?
Moreover, if he’s worthy, would he give you mixed signals, or he’ll ask you out on a date and tell you how beautiful you are? Which one sounds more logical?
I mean, really, we live in the 21st century, the era of the technology, the open mind, the open relationships, open communication… How about to go toward open feelings as well?
When did messing around with someone’s mind and sending mixed signals became acceptable?
You already know the answer…
He’s just not into you the way you want him to!
You’ve had relationships before. You know when someone likes you he should do something about it.
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You are more than capable of sending him away but how to be sure you’re not missing out on a chance of a fulfilling relationship?
Well, sending him away makes you miss out on another month or so of mixed signals and few hours weekly spent to decode his every action.
By not sending him away you’re missing out on a chance to meet someone who knows he wants a relationship with you and no one else. When you give him your phone number, he won’t use it once a week just to check “what’s up? ;p”.
You’re in a dilemma if he’s worth the game or you should proceed with your life.
If you are aware, all this is a game, and you enjoy it – go on. At least now both of you are having fun. Use the opportunity to sharpen your flirting skills, enjoy it and don’t take it seriously.
You are unsure how to end this and keep the good vibes between the two of you.
Well, let me be honest with you. You cannot keep the good vibes unless you play the game.
But no one said you should be rude and tell him it’s time to grow up. He’ll get the hint sooner or later. All you have to do is to just put him into the friend zone with one or two sentences, and this will cool him down.
Here you are – two examples of how to deal with the mixed signals from a guy when you want to put him in his place with a smile.
“I’m very happy I’ve got a friend like you always to make me laugh. Thank you.” will tell him that you don’t think of him as a dating/relationship option.
“You’re an amazing guy. Let’s find you a decent girl to date.” is another cold shower that will tell him he doesn’t have a chance with you anymore.
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Mixed signals from a guy you like that are exceptions to the rules…
What if his mixed signals are mixed only to you? What if he just doesn’t know how to show his feelings?
There’s a difference between a guy who openly flirts with you and goes no further and a guy who throws some shy sentences here and there, and you’re getting mad he doesn’t go further.
Yes, some guys are shy.
Just because he’s a man, it doesn’t automatically make him a confident flirting machine that convinces girls to go out with him.
Very often a good guy tries to show his affection toward a girl, but he doesn’t go all the way and leaves her wondering what’s going on.
You could look at his body language.
He may get a bit more nervous when he talks to you. He may even speak less to you, but yet, he’s always watching you. To find out more, try to have a small chat with him, just the two of you, or open a conversation in one of the social media. Send him something funny on Messenger and see how it will go. When he doesn’t look into your eyes, it may be easier for him to open up and to show you he’s attracted to you.
What if you are the one that sends the mixed signals? Have you thought of that option?
I bet you didn’t. Too often women believe we sent the right message to the men we like (yes, me including), only to find out we were misunderstood. And it happens not only with someone we’ve just met but after that, in our relationships as well.
If you feel shy to show affection but getting frustrated by his “hot and cold” attitude, revise your actions. It could be you the one who plays the game.
Be more clear about the feelings you’ve got. Smile at him more, talk to him a little bit more. It would encourage him to make the step and ask you out.
- WHY MEN PULL AWAY AT THE EARLY STAGES OF THE RELATIONSHIP
- 15 STEPS TO GET HIM TO ASK YOU OUT EVEN IF YOU ARE SHY
Are those “just friends” signals or mixed signals from a guy?
Yep, “just friends” signals exist.
And they are not signals the other sends but a behaviour you interpreted wrong. So after all, those mixed signals from a guy might not be present at all.
How to know if that’s the case?
Some guys are very polite with women. They show attention, listen to them and want to help. They are gentlemen and women around them love the way they’re treated. But all that doesn’t make him into you, nor his actions are mixed signals.
You think and probably feel flattered by the way he treats you, but he’s polite and friendly.
Look more carefully if he’s actually flirting with you or he cares a lot about the people around him.
Those are the ways to deal with the mixed signals from a guy you like. If you enjoyed this article share it on your social media (psst, he may see it and get the hint to do something or else…). Subscribe to us so you can be notified when the next awesome content is out.