What are the biggest love lessons women should learn, so they don’t get hurt anymore?
Nobody likes to be hurt, but every time you answer the flirting look of a new guy, you take the risk your heart to get broken.
If your heart indeed gets broken and you have to go through the process of moving on, you usually promise yourself to never do that again: to never allow another man to break you.
But have you ever thought of it in another way?
Have you ever thought that the reason your heart gets broken is that you make the same mistakes every time?
You probably have, but could you identify these mistakes in such a way that you could clearly pin them on your mental wall and refer to them every day?
I still learn about love.
But there are a few lessons every woman should learn.
Could you spear a minute (or three) to see if that’s something you must know?
Related Post: HOW TO GET OVER A BREAKUP FAST – FREE E-BOOK
Let’s go then.
Love Lesson #1: The important relationship
The relationship with yourself is more important than the relationship with him.
That’s something I’ve been struggling with for a long time.
I used to think that I will feel better if my relationship with my partner goes well. Therefore, I used to see my romantic relationships as a priority and ignore the relationship I had with myself.
Just by wording the situation, I realise how ridiculous it sounds, and all of us know that this leads to unhappiness and eventual breakup.
But realising that my inner comfort is essential for the healthiness of the relationship I am in, was the moment I found out why it always seemed like I did something wrong.
Maintaining your relationship with yourself is your #1 priority. That’s all. Only in this way, you would be capable of maintaining a relationship with another person.
Related Post: 42 TINY WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT MORE
Love Lesson #2: Expectations
Listen, I know how it goes.
You meet a guy, you go out on a few dates, and everything is so smooth and nice that you imagine yourself with a white dress and start naming your children.
If that’s not you – that was me.
But here’s the truth!
Expectations are your worst enemy when it comes to love.
Expectations kill your relationship. They lead to the disappointment of things that didn’t even happen. Having expectations from anyone is robbing the other person from his identity.
The beauty of every new romance is getting to know a new person, seeing different views of life and exploring the unknown.
However, once you start having expectation from that person, you put him in a box and order him to fit in or else.
If he does that – soon you’ll realise he’s boring and “not the person you met“. If he doesn’t want to fit in the box, he becomes the person you “thought was different”.
Leave expectations aside. Let things be as they are and enjoy the journey without knowing its end.
I know that sounds scary, but it’s your only way to see love as it is (more or less).
So, chase away your expectations and see love lesson for women #3
Love lesson #3: Respect and other stuff
If you feel disrespected in your relationship, then you probably are.
The truth is that we know if we’re disrespected. We read all these articles to confirm a suspicion or to make sure we’re wrong.
This love lesson is tightly connected to the first one – about your relationship with yourself. If your relationship with yourself is healthy, then you will quickly spot disrespect and deal with it.
Women tend to ignore little disrespectful signs, like him not answering a text message for hours (without obvious explanation), checking your phone all the time, expressing distrust and anger issues. All that is disrespect.
When I met my fiancee, he had just one rule I had to respect: no shouting. I agree that this is a challenge for me as an emotional human being. I also agree that I don’t stick to it 100% of the time. But I do my best, and I know that shouting, yelling, calling names or snapping is disrespectful. And I don’t want to disrespect the person I love.
But things like that make you work on yourself and try your best in becoming a better person. Not shouting when we have an argument has helped us to think before we speak – emotions shout, thoughts – speak. And up until this day (three years and keep counting), we haven’t had a loud argument that people call “a fight”.
Related Post: 17 BRUTALLY HONEST SIGNS HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
Love Lesson #4: Who Wants What
You deserve to be in an exclusive relationship, and he deserves to know that you want exclusivity.
Like it or not, we live in a world where we have to speak up if we want exclusivity in the relationship or the other could blame us for his recent date with another girl.
Yes, welcome to the 21st century.
That’s something I’ve always been aware of, but many women aren’t.
Stand up for yourself and let him know as early as possible that you are in this relationship and only in this relationship. He deserves to know it as much as you deserve to know if that’s not ok with him.
Love Lesson #5: Sweet Talk
Not every man who knows how to talk to you is worth your attention.
I’m a blogger, writer, reader, dreamer. All I used to need was a few nice words from a man, and I was already almost in love with him.
I’m ashamed to admit how easy it used to be for a man to make me like him a little bit more. That was the reason I used to date a lot of “sweet talkers”.
Have you ever dated “sweet talkers”?
They tell you you’re beautiful; they notice something no other man has noticed, they make you feel special and desired. They look into your eyes and sweet-talk the best lies ever, and you believe them.
And then, once you’re sober again, you see that beautiful words can’t make you feel loved, protected, cherished, respected. But they act like pink curtains that cover gloomy weather. You just refuse to open them.
Most people won’t believe me, but after my last relationship with a sweet-talker, I wrote a letter to my future boyfriend and I “told him” to be silent. I “told” him that if he wants to tell me something to speak with his actions or I chose to be deaf for his words.
The Law of Attraction did its job, and my next relationship was with my fiancee and he is my treasure, but – trust me, he isn’t a sweet talker. And I don’t miss beautiful words, because I’ve got endless acts of love every single day since we’ve met.
Don’t believe sweet-talkers. Choose to be deaf for his words instead of blind for his actions.
Related Post: 11 TOXIC TYPE OF MEN YOU SHOULD AVOID AT ANY COST
Love Lesson #6: Priorities
Last night my partner told me something that actually inspired me to write about this love lesson every woman should learn.
I was laughing at something silly he said, and then he added that he’s happy he made me laugh one more time on this day as making me laugh is more important than being romantic.
Now, I like romantic gestures so much that it’s hopeless. I always crave for romance in every day; I love sunsets, sunrises, warm hand around my arms, all Valentine’s day hearts, bears and chocolates, etc.
But he’s right.
Many women are in search of the romantic relationship that could compete with P.S. I Love You (my fave movie) and every book by Nicholas Sparks (I’ve read them all), that we forget that if a man doesn’t make you smile at least once today, something’s wrong.
He might not bring you roses, sing you songs and rip his shirt off to prove his love for you, but he makes you almost pee yourself from laughing every day.
Focus on the important things.
Love Lesson #7: Giving
You have to give before you expect to receive, but if you don’t receive anything, you should stop giving.
Listen, I know many gurus and spiritual teachers would argue this point.
And they would be right.
To some extent.
We talk about love and relationships here. And love is the unconditional urge to give to the other without the expectation of getting something back. But if we are in a search of mutual love that would mean that the other “gives without the expectation of receiving”, am I right?
When two people give without the expectation of receiving back – that’s a healthy relationship and total #RelationshipGoals.
So, let’s go back to the beginning: if you give and give, and give… and give, but nothing’s been given from the other side – you should stop giving and leave.
Don’t demand to receive. Don’t blame in selfishness. Don’t regret that you gave.
Love Lesson #8: Changes
You can’t change him, but you could share what makes you feel uncomfortable.
Same old story, women are always blamed they want to change the man by their side.
And no matter how much I want this not to be true, I must admit that yes, often we want the man by our side to change a thing or two about themselves.
No intent to put a halo on men’s heads, but they are less guilty in trying to change a woman. They try to adjust and are willing to do a lot for the woman they love.
But that’s not fair, and it isn’t something you want.
If you don’t love a man the way he is, find a man who will be the way you love. (does that make any sense?!)
However, if something bothers you, it doesn’t make you feel comfortable and keeps disrupting your happiness, then you must let your man know. You’ve got the right to do it.
Love Lesson #9: Cheating
Here’s something weird about cheating: If he cheats on you it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, but it does mean he doesn’t respect you.
I choose to look at cheating from a different point of view. Cheating isn’t an act of not-love, but it is an act of disrespect. And often that means there isn’t any love wither, but just an illusion of such.
It is up to you how you respond to cheating, but for sure, you weren’t respected, even if you felt loved (before finding out about the affair).
You see, people love in different ways. We all have our own idea of how we treat the person by our side, and in any situation, we believe we had the right to do what we did.
I don’t defend cheating, trust me, but I say that learning to accept it as an act of disrespect gives us more strength to fight for ourselves and take the right decision.
Love Lesson #10: Love
You have the right to seek love, and you have the right to find it.
This last love lesson for women is especially devoted to those ladies who believe that staying in a toxic relationship could help them fix it.
Don’t fix something that isn’t broken. A toxic relationship isn’t a broken relationship – it’s just toxic. That’s all.
You’ve got the right to want to be loved, and you’ve got the right to leave a relationship that doesn’t make you feel the way you want to feel.
This includes staying in a relationship that everyone believes is the best for you or staying married to someone because of the children.
It doesn’t matter if it sounds selfish to you or anyone else – go and seek your love. Fight for it!. Find it! Hold it!
A Short Summary
Let’s put together all of these love lessons and have them in one place.
1. The relationship with yourself is more important than the relationship with him.
2. Having expectations about your partner or your relationship will kill your happiness.
3. If you feel disrespected in your relationship, then you probably are.
4. You deserve to be in an exclusive relationship and he deserves to know you want exclusivity.
5. Not every man who knows how to talk to you is worth your attention.
6. It’s more important for a man to make you laugh every single day than to be romantic.
7. You have to give before you expect to receive, but if you don’t receive anything, you should stop giving.
8. You can’t change him, but you could share what makes you feel uncomfortable.
9. If he cheats on you it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, but it does mean he doesn’t respect you.
10. You have the right to seek love and you have the right to find it.
Related Content to Love Lessons For Women
- 12 THINGS HE WILL DO FOR YOU IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU
- WHY LOVE HURT?
- 10 BEST HABITS TO BUILD A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
- 15+ FREE RELATIONSHIP RESOURCES FOR YOU
- I LOVE BEING SINGLE – CHALLENGE FOR SINGLE LADIES
↓Enjoyed this post? Share it↓