Every time you decide to settle down, you limit yourself from experiencing better, greater things ahead. Settling for less in a relationship is another word for you, accepting the bare minimum presented to you as full potential. But you cannot compare potential to a real person’s existence of someone who can actually give you all of what you desire.
Settling for less in a relationship means you are comfortable with the little effort, the distant kind of warmth, the broken communication, basically the bare minimum. But why would you settle for the bare minimum, the crumbs, the pain that tags along with settling?
Never Settle For Less In a Relationship Because Of Loneliness
See, people settle for less in a relationship because they are lonely. You are lonely. You have this fire burning inside you that you so desperately want to share, and so you will pour this to anybody who shows you the slightest of interest.
You want to burn for someone so bad, you don’t know of any other way. This makes you a lover, an empath and sometimes it makes you a target, a bed of roses.
Anybody you are in a relationship with will do very little, and you will feel atoms exploding in you. They will not communicate as you’d expect, but you are a field of chances. They will pull you down to the ground, and you would still settle because you are afraid of letting this go.
You are afraid of losing this person who you have tried so hard to build with and so you would settle and you would call it love.
Real Loss Happens When You Settle For Less
People settle for less in relationships because it’s a terrifying feeling to lose all that you have been building for six years with every vein in you and starting again afresh, with a new person, with a new character, and so you settle. The feeling is so overwhelming you would rather hold on to what you have.
You would rather hope that you can fix a broken glass than get a new one. You love your other half so much you look past their flaws and their broken edges. You feel you can mend them to the version you have in your head; forgetting wild hearts can never be tamed. You have been so blinded; you forget what you wanted in a person, what you desired in a relationship. You probably forgot your individuality and what you once so much desired.
What Can You Tolerate?
Here’s the thing, never settle for less or anything less of what you want in a relationship.
We are beings and once on a full moon, we can tolerate a few anger issues and a bit of not returning my calls. But you cannot tolerate a habit that is this close to being a schedule, a routine. You have to know your worth. Don’t let a man or a woman tell you your worth. You need to be aware of what you want in a person. Communicate your boundaries. Tell the world about your desires.
Communicate clearly your expectations and goals in your relationship so it would be easier for you to sieve anything that you do not want.
Many times we are not genuinely transparent with our loved ones for the fear of breaking their hearts, and what about you? So it’s okay for your heart to be broken protecting theirs? Who is protecting you?
Who is protecting your fragile soul? Who is willing to break their heart for you? Ask yourself; is what you are having now, what you wanted? Or did you decide to settle for less? This is not about broken hearts.
This is about you knowing what you deserve in a relationship. The moment you know what you want and need you will not accept anything thrown at you from any angle packed and labeled as love.
You Know You Deserve Better
Never settle for someone who treats you like a second option, a backup plan, secondary, and a background. If you are not their first priority, then what are you?
You don’t need to be placed on some hierarchy; a hierarchy shouldn’t even exist when it comes to you. Never settle for someone who makes you wait for a reply or when it’s only convenient for them to text. You should never be an afterthought. Never settle for someone who talks about things but presents a whole zero with actions.
Someone who is so good at breaking their promises and cutting off your expectations. Do not settle for half-ass love. Do not settle for hope and faded feelings. Do not settle for everyday stories and lies that feed your faith in love. You deserve better; you know you do.
Demand What You Deserve
Sometimes the problem is us because we choose to stay nonetheless.
Eight red flags and we are still very present enjoying a tale of sorrows that are this close to breaking us down. You decide to stay because you are a hopeless romantic pouring love to the wrong vessel. When this love feels like you have gone way past your standards, leave. When this love starts to feel like it’s in pieces and portions, too far gone to be amended, know that you have settled.
Wait for someone who calls you first thing in the morning to hear your raspy voice. Wait for someone who accepts you the way you are. With your flaws and imperfections, they are still there complimenting you.
Wait for someone who still calls you beautiful after you have experienced motherhood and your whole body is taking a turn with stretch marks and no thigh gap. Wait for someone who shows up when your world is falling to the ground and holds you through it. Wait for someone who makes the effort to know your language because they want to love you in that language.
Wait for effort and real conversations to happen. Wait for a love that is way more than the dream you had pictured. Wait for someone who is clear about you and they are willing to commit to you. Wait for unconditional love.
Know Your Worth Because You Are Worth Knowing
You are worthy of everything you think you deserve.
You are worth loving even on the days you are a wreck and the days your storm doesn’t quite seem to end. Do not settle for less when what you are looking for is out there looking for you.
Do not settle for your confidence being trampled on or your voice being shut. Do not settle for someone to give you the authority on how to live your life. You are fully capable and able to live as you please. And if what you want seems out of reach, you are fully allowed to walk out and go look for what you deserve.
My hopes for you
I hope you burn for the right person, with the right reasons. There is a whole world out there that is ready for you to start again. Begin. Rewrite your story one more time for the tenth time. Do not settle for bad romance. Do not settle for anything less that is beyond your reach. It’s okay to want a love that people have never had. It’s okay to yearn for love so genuine, true, and real.
It’s a whole lot okay if you feel this is not what you want and you can’t keep up with what is being offered. It’s okay to not want to settle for less. It’s profoundly okay if the people in your world do not resonate with your world. This tells you, you are extraordinary for just any type of love.
I hope you find the courage to not settle for less than what you want. I hope you find your voice and tell them “you are losing me”. I hope you are ready to love blindly but bravely when the universe decides to give you one more luck at love. I do hope you get yourself out of toxic relationships that are blinding you from what you really deserve. I hope you never settle for less but above all, I hope you never settle.
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Why You Should Never Settle For Less in a Relationship
My blog is about what most people go through in life, the good and the toxic that society labels normal. It’s about facing your worst nightmares and some days your best experiences. Full of reminders that you might have forgotten along the way. This blog is always loving you from the shadows.