What are the most common relationship problems? And are they deal-breakers? What is it that turns a good and healthy relationship into a problematic rollercoaster that could even end with a breakup?
Today we talk about 7 hardships in relationships and how to fix them before they cause more damage to your love life than needed.
1. Relationship Issue: Ineffective communication
We’ve all been there: the moment you realize that no matter how you word your sentences, your partner still won’t see things from your point of view.
Feelings of misunderstanding, redrawing from proper conversations, and “keeping it quiet” are all signs of poor communication and very common problems in a relationship.
And that is one of the most common problems couples face.
At the beginning of your relationship, you might discover that your communication style differs severely from your partner’s. That is perfectly normal.
The “not normal” part is when you don’t do anything to adjust your styles to a level where you establish healthy communication.
Communication can make or break a relationship. In fact, it’s one of the most common reasons why new relationships don’t work.
Going out of your comfort zone can be difficult, but try to put yourselves in each others’ shoes. It can help to run through some communication tips and tricks and encourage expressing yourselves freely.
Don’t forget that honesty is integral to good communication, so don’t be tempted to shake something off as nothing when it’s bothering you.
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2. Relationship Issue: Failing to establish boundaries
Can you relate: Closing your eyes for things that aren’t okay at the beginning of the relationship and kicking yourself in the bum later on… because your loved one already thinks it’s okay… but it’s not.
I still can’t decide if that’s even worse than the communication problems.
Setting boundaries is one aspect of a new relationship that most people can easily disregard as being important.
However, failing in that department guarantees you plenty of sleepless nights, endless explanations and stress while trying to fix something that shouldn’t have occurred at all.
But I also understand it.
Once we fall for someone, we do our best to keep them around us long enough to “convince them” what a good catch we are. Agreeing to things we don’t feel comfortable about is just a way to “please” and “impress” our new love.
And it’s not like they wouldn’t be okay with our “no”. It all happens in our heads as we strive to “impress” and “be cool about it”.
However…
Establishing boundaries tells your partner what you are comfortable with and what your limits are. Different people have different tolerance levels, which is why it’s important to respect each other. Discovering what your partner’s limitations are is a great way to enhance intimacy as well.
Consider speaking up to your partner as soon as you notice something that makes you feel uncomfortable, so they are aware of that straight away.
Many of us, girls, bottle things down and bring them up after some time has passed. That isn’t very helpful since your partner is likely to have forgotten about that situation and can have trouble recalling it correctly. Speaking up at the appropriate time is essential and can help your relationship flourish.
3. Refusing to compromise
Relationships are all about compromise.
Disagreement and differences in viewpoints will inevitably bubble up at some point, which is why you need to accept that and be willing to talk the situation through.
Suppose you always want to get your way and tend to dominate your partner with your opinions. In that case, this will likely do some serious damage to your relationship.
Refusing to compromise can communicate to your partner that they are not being heard and that their opinions don’t matter to you. This can cause great frustration and lead to having the same fight over and over again without a clear solution to the problem.
To maintain healthy amounts of compromise (from both sides), you should be open to your partner about how you feel and what you want to do to resolve the conflict.
Keep in mind that you also need to hear your partner out and consider their point of view. Take some time to think through the situation and your partner’s suggested solution – does it work for you, and if not, can you think of something that can make you both happy?
And to finish this section with a cliche (’cause why not), remember the saying: Do you want to right or you want to happy?
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4. Relationship Problem: Disliking each other’s friends
Friends are an important part of any person’s life – no matter if you are in a romantic relationship. It’s essential to maintain your friendships so you lead a happy and fulfilled life.
At some point, your partner will inevitably have to interact with your social circle. Sometimes, it just so happens that they aren’t huge fans of your friend’s jokes, hobbies, or general vibe.
This can be a very touchy and difficult subject to address without hurting their feelings. Again, this is where compromise comes to play, and communication is much required to solace this obstacle.
If you or your partner don’t like your social circles – it’s okay! Make sure to talk to each other to understand what it is that bothers you in the friend group. Is it something minor (like the way someone rolls their eyes), or is it something major (like core values and view of the world)? Is it something you (or they) can compromise with?
Some angles to the situation that you must avoid at all costs are the “choose – them or me” kind of response. Shooting ultimatums like this has never proven to lead to a happy relationship in the first place. You can always excuse yourself from hanging out with them, so this doesn’t become a significant deal-breaker that stains your relationship.
5. Relationship Problem: Lack of trust
Mutual trust is another critical pillar of any successful relationship.
If you don’t trust each other, what are you even doing together?
What makes you feel this way?
Did you (or your partner) do something specific to provoke these feelings? Is this insecurity rooted in some deep, unresolved trauma?
When you take the time to understand the source of the problem, you can begin to heal and build trust healthily.
A key ingredient in trust-building is appropriately addressing your needs in front of your partner. You want to learn what the other wants and needs.
Of course, this involves listening and asking questions to ensure that nothing is misunderstood. Sometimes emotional conversations are hard to bring up spontaneously, so consider a build-up so both parties can prepare for the serious tone.
6. Comparing
Have you ever had an ex? Chances are – you have.
In that case, I can guarantee you have faced one of the most common relationship problems that exist: comparisson.
What’s even more likely is that you might subconsciously compare your current beau with your previous one and thus build different expectations of how he should speak, act or behave. Usualy that happens at the very beginning of the relationship when the “memories” of your previous relationship are still fresh.
Yet, we both know that every person is unique, and there aren’t two people with the same set of qualities. Comparison can be toxic for your relationship and end in a not so pretty way.
Instead of comparing, try to appreciate the uniqueness you both bring to the table – what makes you, you.
Always be respectful, and don’t try to nudge each other in a direction you deem “right.” What’s right for you can be completely wrong for the other person, which is why you need to learn to let go of the reins. This may require some time, but as long as you are willing to work on that, you will almost surely thrive in a peaceful relationship.
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7. Relationship Issue: Jealousy
Ah, jealousy. You or your partner might be someone who gets jealous often, for no apparent reason and tends to question even the everyday occurrences of life.
While it’s normal to feel jealousy to a certain extent, it should never get out of control to the point of you trying to control the other’s life.
For some people, jealousy can lead to possessive tendencies, which are sure to make the other person feel suffocated and stripped of their freedom.
Sometimes jealousy is justified, which makes it a delicate subject matter to deal with. However, suppose you want your relationship to work. In that case, you want to address these issues and be ready to forgive past mistakes.
Conclusion to Most Common Relationship Problems
Whether it’s jealousy, comparing to your ex, or lack of communication, these are all problems that require attention and, too often – self-assessment. It’s hard to see our part in a problem, but happy and thriving couples never put the blame on the other partner only.
One of the best ways to revive your relationship is to stop with the blame (including self-blame) and approach your everyday communication in a completely unique and specific way.
You want to know what triggers the other person (and you) to doubt your future, and you want to work on it.
Of course, there is a way to save a failing relationship, but you need to put the hard work in. If you’re such a person and wish to have a happy and thriving relationship, see this video on the exact steps of how to do it.
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7 Most Common Relationship Problems
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