3 ways how to avoid killing your relationship
Stress is the disease of nowadays. Being responsible for many things every day and trying to be the best in everything we do, causes us problems. On theory we know what we should or shouldn’t do, but when it comes to practice… well, things are a little bit harder. Maybe you don’t realise it but everyday stress affects your relationship, and I would like to show you how.
Anxiety is the first sign of stress we can spot. If you’re worried about everything around you – from the weather outside to your holiday in ten years time, something is not right. With all that, you probably want to have a conversation with your partner about every single worry, you have got. And on the top of that, he has to assure you every time at least half-hour that everything will be alright and you don’t have to think so much about it. Solution: There are things in our lives we can control and things we cannot control. And we shouldn’t worry about any of those. When you know you can change something why you worry about it – just change it. If it’s out of your reach, do not feel responsible for it. Accept everything with calm and let the peace come to your mind. Because if you can’t do that sooner or later, your partner will become tired of being the wall between you and “all awful things in this world that may happen to you in the next ten years”.
Anger with no reason. You woke up this morning and the sun was shining through the window.
It’s a fantastic day, you don’t have to work, and your partner is off as well. You have the perfect set up for the joyful day but for some unknown reason you just can’t smile and enjoy these things. You have no idea why, and your partner becomes a little bit annoyed from your grumpy face. And he’s right! You are stressed, and you can’t see the good in the current day. Your thoughts are running through the things you had to do last week and the things you should do in the next few months. Too much tension is waiting to be released, and you know how everything is going to end – one beautiful morning you will have to argue with the person next to you and it’s not going to be his fault. You will say things that haven’t crossed your mind before that, but it will be too late to take them back. After that, you will feel guilty but with no reason – relieved. Why? It’s because you managed to release the stress from your body but in the wrong way. Solution: go out for a long walk and be alone with your thoughts, visit the gym or go out for jogging, have some cocktail time with your best friend and talk to her about every silly thing that crosses your mind (my favourite) or do your hair on your way home after work.
You feel the need to lose yourself in a dark room and not to see anyone at least for a year.
I don’t joke about this. I’ve had these moments as well. You love your partner, your kids, dog and flowers but in some weird way, you feel annoyed that they … exist! Let me tell you why that happens. Overthinking and overloading yourself with responsibilities makes you tired. To isolate yourself from the others is good only sometimes and just for a while. When you systematically avoid contacts with the people around you, it shows the need to look after yourself in any way – physically and emotionally. You probably think too much about the others than for you. And do too many things instead of the others? And you sacrifice your time and needs because of ..who knows what reason. Solution: Stop! Stop ignoring your needs – if you need a nap – just take it. If you need a day off – book a holiday. If you want help with the housework – tell your partner. Love and relationship include supporting and helping each other when need it. You are not in a competition who can do more things! Nobody says you’re a bad person just because you can’t manage everything. Remember: The relationship is between two people and if one of them is not happy, sooner or later the other one won’t be happy as well. Try to reduce stress in any possible way before it takes away the joy of your life.