Think about it for a moment – what does the perfect relationship look to you?
If you are an optimist, you will say something in the lines of harmonious and beautiful, where there are no cloudy days and everything is sunshine and rainbows at all times.
If you are a realist, however, you will know that the perfect relationship has a bit of everything – sunshine and rain included. And you know that it’s perfectly okay, and even healthy, to have moments where you can barely stand the other person at times.
Of course, the objective of any relationship is to have a good time together and balance each other out. You should be able to grow with the other person and not endure a toxic environment. We all aspire for our relationships to be smooth sails but sometimes this simply isn’t achievable.
Why? Because people have different personalities and opinions on life.
For example, I know that it’s proper to chew quietly, with your mouth closed. My boyfriend, on the other hand, munches as loud as humanly possible, to the point of me having to stand up from the table and stomping my way out of the room, much to his confusion.
How do you deal with situations like that? Would it be okay to explain the issue to him? How would I do that without hurting his feelings?
To answer all these questions and more, today’s article tackles the subject of annoying partners and why sometimes irritation in a relationship is actually a good thing.
Is it normal for your partner to annoy you a lot?
The short answer is – no, not if it’s a lot. But if they do get the better of you now and then throughout your day, that’s a whole different case.
It’s a good sign if your partner annoys you in the relationship. This behavior can be interpreted as a sign that they are letting their guard down around you and allowing the minor imperfections of their personality to shine through. When people first start a relationship, it’s normal for them to want to present only the best in themselves.
After a while, that facade is bound to crack and fall apart, which is when you know you are in a real relationship.
Think of this as your partner expressing his authentic self, unfiltered, before you. People are naturally imperfect creatures, so don’t be too hard on the guy. You also have some things about yourself that annoy him too, but he accepts those since he likely loves you.
Try talking to him if certain aspects are still getting on your nerves, even though you did your careful pondering and reflection. An open conversation is a perfect release for the resentment that probably started building up inside you. Be careful how you start the conversation and present your point of view – some subjects can be sensitive, so thread with caution.
What does it mean if everything he does annoys you?
Now, if everything your partner does, says, and makes you tremble with anger, that’s a problem.
For the most part, the minor annoyances that our partners inflict on our lives are easy to get over and attribute to their individual quirks.
When everything he does annoy you – no matter how big or small the behavior in question- this can be a sign of underlying issues. You may need to consider if you have emotionally checked out of the relationship and seriously reflect on your feelings toward this person.
Think to yourself – am I still in love? Because if the answer to that question is ‘yes’, you wouldn’t mind these annoyances as much as you do.
Some might argue that feeling emotions toward someone, whether positive or negative, is a good indicator that you still care and have feelings for that person. If you can notice that the negative feelings are prevailing, to the point of you starting to care less, maybe it’s time you two have a talk.
Don’t be afraid to address the way you are feeling. It might just be that you are currently in a rough patch in your life in general and your partner is stepping on your toes without meaning to. He will never understand the error in his ways unless you explain what it is that is bothering you in the first place.
What to do when everything he does annoys you
One of the first things to do when you discover how much your partner actually annoys you is to reflect and understand where these feelings are coming from.
Is it really something they are doing or does the problem lie within you? As you take the time to think, here are a few possible explanations why you are feeling the way you are feeling.
1. You spend too much time together
For better or for worse we were more or less forced to spend more time together with other people over the past two years.
Perhaps it’s that newfound intimacy and lack of privacy that lies at the core of your problems? If you feel that this may be it, take the time to establish some boundaries and communicate them to your partner.
Explain what bothers you and what your solution for that is – you might even consider taking some time off and actively focusing on independent activities, free from each other. This has the potential to boost your relationship, so feel free to give it a try.
2. The honeymoon phase is over
All good things must come to an end at some point and this includes taking your rose-colored glasses off and seeing the person you are dating for the individual he is.
This might include some things that you find displeasing or even odd, but at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide if you can handle them or not.
Before jumping to rash conclusions, however, be objective – what do you think are your flaws, and how hypocritical are you being of your partner?
3. You struggle with your self-image
Sometimes if your boyfriend makes you angry, it’s not so much because of something he did, rather than you having issues with yourself.
If for whatever reason you feel insecure or dissatisfied with the way you look or act, you might be taking all these negative emotions out on him.
He might be better at some things, that you always wanted to master, which is why you begin to lash out due to self-doubt and disappointment. Be honest with yourself – could it be that he hasn’t really been doing anything wrong and in fact, the problem lies within you?
4. He has changed and is acting off
If you have disregarded all the above explanations as to why everything irritates you, this might be because he truly has changed and is acting very differently than he did before.
He might have been conceiving his true nature up to now and decided that you are all “set” now, he can show his true colors.
In that case, I strongly urge you to have a serious conversation. While it’s okay to want to present yourself in the best light possible when you start dating someone, pretending to be someone you’re not is a whole different matter.
Final Thoughts
If everything he does annoyed you, it isn’t an issue to ignore. If you’ve been together for a few years and you know you love him, it might be just some itch that will pass in a week or two.
However, whatever you decide to do – to address a problem or to wait it out, the only thing you should not do is continuously ignore your feelings.
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Everything He Does Annoys You! Here’s What To Do!
An aspiring wordsmith with a gift of understanding the intricacies of human relationships. When she is not busy wrapping up her Master’s degree in Social and Organisational Psychology, Snezhina likes reading, learning new languages, and capturing moments with her camera.
All these articles are referring to the boyfriend being the annoying one, constant references to “him” and “he”.
Where’s all the advice for men struggling?
Seems like any emotional problems is always the man’s fault and there’s only help for woman.
Thank you for your comment, Graeme! We also have a category dedicated to problems men face in their relationships, and we discuss issues where women are at fault (although I am convinced that in every problem, both partners are at fault). You just accidently stumbled upon content dedicated to women’s issues. You can access the men’s category through our menu at the top. Wishing you all the best!