To The Next Man, I Would Love, This Is What I Will Expect From You

It won’t be fair for me to set for you high standards and bars that can’t be crossed. It won’t be my place to see how far you can go for me; it will not be in my power to set how your mindset is. I will, however, have expectations because this time, I know what I want in a man.

I would expect you to talk your mind and be free

If this is too much, you can let me know. I would expect you to freely communicate with me. Be open.

Communication plays a major role. I would expect you to tell me about your slow mornings, late nights, bad days, and great days of your life. I will be there, and for me to take part in your life, I’ll expect you to be entirely open with me. Do not protect me with lies that are sure to break me down.

Talk your mind on everything we bump into; let me accept your beliefs, patterns, and truth. Tell me about your days and the little details that your days will entail. Be honest and tell me how you do not like your coworker you are now teamed up with, laugh about it, and figure out how you will work with him.

I expect you to freely talk your mind on matters that I might disagree on. You are human, and your different perspective will probably make me see you for who you really are.

I will expect you to be honest

Nothing but honesty. Involve me in knowing about your whereabouts; it’s a tiny piece of information but means so much to me. I will expect you to tell me why you’re mad even if I’m not the reason why. I will expect you to be honest about your schedule and changed plans. Your dreams and fears of life and us. Be honest about who you are. What you truly want and need. It gives me easier and ample time from the beginning.

Honesty will save us time on a lot of issues. Be honest if your feelings suddenly change on a Monday morning at 7.32 am, don’t wait for two miserable years to pass by to tell me this. I can’t read minds, I wish I could, and so I would expect you to be brutally honest with me. I can handle everything that is besides honesty, but you can make my work easier if you get to be honest.

I will expect you to allow me into your past.

For me to understand you better, I will need to understand you. Yes, I have you at the present moment but I will expect to understand your past. What made you? Who broke you? Your hidden secrets. A past you are running from. Unresolved issues. I’m not acting as a therapist but somehow to understand where we are going, I will need to understand where you are coming from. Tell me about the stories that the scars on your body hold and the heartbreaks that have never quite healed.

Tell me about your childhood. Let me see the deepest part of your soul. Let me understand where your anger is coming from. Let me know what happiness is to you. Let me know about your roots and why you decided to venture into law or medicine as a career. I expect you to allow me to understand you.

I expect you to let me be me.

I am me and I am whole. I expect you to let me be who I am.

I expect you to respect my dreams, vision, and goals. I will expect you to know I have and can speak my own mind. I will expect you to accept that I can make some decisions on my own because I am capable of knowing what I want. I will expect you to respect my values and the experiences that have shaped me to become the woman I am. I will expect you to accept and respect my career goals, my thoughts, my ideas.

Besides all these, I expect you to correct me when my pride and ego are far too gone. I will expect you to challenge me in things that might contradict between us. Challenge my mindset to be better, help me become better without making me feel less of a person. I am a “making in progress,” and most days, I might change my mind on things. I would expect you to be present to make these life-altering changes about me, but above all, I will expect you to know I am me as an individual, and I will need you to let me be.

I will expect you to treat me with love, kindness, compassion, and respect.

This should be the foundation of our relationship. Being stable through uncertainty and misplaced circumstances. Just as love will be the purpose of this relationship so will everything we go through, and everything life will throw at us. I will expect you to treat me with respect and not solve issues through emotional or physical abuse.

I expect you to be loyal. Be loyal even in your own words, turn your words into action, try not to break your own promises. I expect you to put effort into our relationship, let it not be a 20/80 kind of love. Put in the effort in trying to make it work for us to stabilize it. To make this work, this relationship will have to be equally filled from both sides.

I expect you to take responsibility.

Responsibilities for your actions, your words, and even your choices. To excuse the blame game, I will expect you to accept and amend your mistakes. As a mature person, I will expect you to distinguish between right and wrong without me making it obvious.  I will expect you to be responsible on your own, from how you handle our finances to your judgment and behavior.

Through you being responsible I will expect you to be emotionally mature. It’s fine to have some childish fun when it’s appropriate but I will expect you to behave like a grown-up when it’s time to.

I will expect intimacy

Intimacy is deeper. With intimacy, it requires emotional closeness, vulnerability, the uncovering of your soul, and trust. I will expect you to share your innate feelings of every situation about us, and I accept your feelings the way they are. This relationship will be worthwhile with an intimacy that makes space for vulnerability without judgment and criticism. I will expect affection and cognizance to know you truly.

It’s not just about your touches and kisses but I will expect the wholehearted release of emotions. Pure moments that will help us enrich and grow a healthy relationship.

I will expect conflict from you.

Nothing has to be perfect. I don’t expect you to be perfect. One way or the other, we will argue and not remember how to hold our peace, and that’s nature. I will expect you to get mad and challenge my decisions and actions when they differ from yours, and I’ll know you’re not holding anything back from me. As much as I expect conflict, I hope you will try to avoid letting things spiral out of control.

I expect to meet your imperfections at a glance.

I expect that in one way or the other we can handle them in the right way.

These things I expect from you are just but the basics that I feel will be a foundation to a healthy, long-term, and long-lasting relationship. My expectations have to be set because I do know what I want and I expect you to know too. Without knowing what you want you end up settling for anything that is being set on the table. With expectations and knowing what you want, provides a sense of direction in a relationship to a common goal that should be able to last us long term.

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This is What I Expect From The Next Man I Will Love