17 Brutally Honest Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

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Why looking for signs he doesn’t love you anymore?

Let me guess.

Something’s going on in your relationship, and you are looking for 100% no-doubt signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

You often find yourself looking for signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore.

Moreover, you truly think that he is on the edge of breaking up with you.

So, how to tell if he doesn’t love you anymore? Does he even care about you?

Look:

If it turns out that you are with a man who doesn’t care about you, your heart is about to be broken.

Despite that, it’s far better to be happy alone than miserable with someone who doesn’t want you in his life.

If your guy ticks the boxes on 3 or more of the signs below – he doesn’t really love you.

Also, I’ve got a bonus sign he doesn’t love you anymore, and it’s the most important one, so stick to the end of this.

It's far better to be happy alone than miserable with someone who doesn't want you in his life.Click to Tweet

So let’s dive in and find out if it’s true that he isn’t the one for you.

If it turns out that you are with a man who doesn't care about you, your heart is about to be broken.Click to Tweet

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you sign up or make a purchase I might get a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my business. See full disclosure.

1. You feel anxious around him, and you don’t know why

sad-woman-in-bed

Needless to say, if your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore there’s a weird vibe he transmits onto you, and you feel it. He is probably more confused than you right now, and his anxiousness gets to you.

Needless to say, if your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore there's a weird vibe he transmits onto you, and you feel it. He is probably more confused than you right now, and his anxiousness gets to you.Click to Tweet

You often feel like you’re walking on eggshells and like you’re going to explode any second, trying to find out what’s’ going on in his head.

On top of that, if you are in denial and refuse to accept that he no longer loves you, then you are in the middle of inner conflict with yourself.

If you are in denial and refuse to accept that he no longer loves you, then you are in the middle of inner conflict with yourself.Click to Tweet

All that slowly kills your sanity, and you get panicked and scared of what the future will bring.

2. Your boyfriend doesn’t put any effort into the relationship anymore

2. No Effort In The Relationship
He doesn’t care about you anymore if he doesn’t put any effort into the relationship

In fact…

It’s been a one-sided relationship for a long time.

And you know what?

You feel tired, annoyed and powerless all at once.

It’s clear that your relationship is failing, but he doesn’t do anything about it.

Moreover, he hasn’t initiated almost any of your last few (or even more) dates, and he doesn’t work on getting closer to you.

He doesn't care about you anymore if he doesn't put any effort into the relationshipClick to Tweet

There is no communication between you two anymore, and nothing could trigger him to invest his time in this relationship.

There is no communication between you two anymore, and nothing could trigger him to invest his time in this relationship.Click to Tweet

Most of all…

3. It looks like your boyfriend doesn’t care about you anymore

3 He Does not care about you anymore
Brutal signs he doesn’t love you anymore

Here’s the deal.

When a man loves you deeply, he cares about the way you feel all the time.

When a man loves you deeply, he cares about the way you feel all the time.Click to Tweet

Even when he has problems.

Even when he is out with friends.

Even when he has the right not to care.

When a man loves you, he is there for you. No. Matter. What.

When a man loves you, he is there for you. No. Matter. What.Click to Tweet

But not your guy. He makes you feel left outside and alone. You need his support, but he’s nowhere to be found.

And this won’t surprise you: he doesn’t love you anymore.

4. He is distant emotionally

couple-ignoring-each-other

It’s simple.

A man who is in love with you will look for ways to be close to you. And I don’t mean just the physical touch.

A man who is in love with you will look for ways to be close to you. And I don't mean just the physical touch.Click to Tweet

The essential connection that builds a strong and fulfilling relationship is emotional commitment and closeness.

The essential connection that builds a strong and fulfilling relationship is emotional commitment and closeness.Click to Tweet

This is the part where you will actually know for sure if he loves you or not.

Is he distant?

Does he prefer not to talk to you about things that bother him?

Do you feel he’s put a massive wall between you two and no matter how hard you hit it, you can’t find even a peephole so you could get to him?

Well, that’s a huge red flag that your guy isn’t comfortable being with you and he might not love you anymore.

5. He says he needs space

man-on-a-mountain-peak

Agh, men and their need for space.

We, we all need space!

Even you.

But there’s a healthy space between two people, and then there’s space that feels like he’s pulling away.

How to know if the space he needs is in the first category?

That depends on how long you’ve been together.

In the first few weeks or months, many couples prefer to spend all of their free time together. Once the honeymoon phase is over though, both of you need a little bit of space.

You want to see other people and spend time with friends.

Can I be totally honest with you?

If that happens – it’s normal.

So what’s not normal then?

It’s not normal to push you away all the time. It’s not normal to see each other only once in the week (if there isn’t a good reason for it).

It's not normal to push you away all the time. It's not normal to see each other only once in the week (if there isn't a good reason for it).Click to Tweet

Ignoring your calls because “he needs time alone”, not answering your messages for hours (all the time) isn’t normal.

Pushing you away regularly, calling you clingy and making you feel bad that you want to be with him – that’s not normal. That’s manipulation and it’s a sign he doesn’t care about your relationship.

Pushing you away regularly, calling you clingy and making you feel bad that you want to be with him - that's not normal. That's manipulation and it's a sign he doesn't care about your relationship.Click to Tweet

But that’s not all…

6. Your partner doesn’t want you to bother him

man-asking-for-something
Why would he feel bothered by you if he loved you?

Add this sign to the previous one.

Can you believe that I had an email from a lady who was saying that her boyfriend didn’t want to see her more than once a week?

She was depressed because she believed she loved him, but couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to spend more time together?

Are you in a similar situation?

Well, let me tell you that’s not OK. Your boyfriend doesn’t appreciate you; he doesn’t respect you and most of all – he doesn’t care about you.

In fact…

He is using you.

7. Communication issues as one of the signs he doesn’t love you anymore

couple-not-talking-to-each-other
Communication issues indicate that there’s something wrong happening

Seriously, so many dating and relationship coaches have spent thousands of hours explaining it to all of us – communication is everything in a relationship.

So many dating and relationship coaches have spent thousands of hours explaining it to all of us - communication is everything in a relationship.Click to Tweet

Moreover, I’ve seen its importance in my relationships too.

How to know if you have communication issues?

Ask yourself these 4 questions:

  • Do I feel 100% comfortable speaking to him about my problems?
  • Does he actively listen to what I say?
  • Am I aware of what’s going on in his personal life?
  • Compared to the beginning of our relationship – do our conversations get deeper and more meaningful?

The answers will tell you if you have communication problems.

And if you do – there are many ways to fix them, at the end of this post I will show you one way to do it.

8. He never compromises

woman-on-ground-man-drinking-in-back

Most of all, he doesn’t feel like he has to compromise with anything in his life.

That makes you the only worker in your relationship. You must juggle with your life, move appointments, change plans and shape yourself according to whatever your guy needs and wants.

Why?

Why should you be the one that always “needs to change”, “must accept him as he is” and “don’t bother him with anything”?

Here’s the thing: I don’t like compromises either. Neither you do. Actually, no one does.

But they are one of the 10 most important relationship habits you must have to build a strong relationship.

If he’s not willing to compromise then he’s not ready to put effort into your relationship.

If he's not willing to compromise then he's not ready to put effort into your relationship.Click to Tweet

The conclusion is only one: he doesn’t care about you anymore as much as you’d like him to.

9. He gets angry for no reason and that’s a huge sign he doesn’t love you

9. He gets angry for no reason

This is one of the disturbing signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

It is also a sign I wish I don’t know how it feels.

In my previous relationship (the one that broke my heart into a million pieces), I always had to be very cautious of what I speak and how I speak it.

The guy was getting angry for no reason, just like that. He would look at me and just immediately get snappy and push me away.

I was feeling unworthy and less of a woman for almost as long as our relationship lasted.

But the truth?

He wasn’t angry at me. At least not really.

He was angry at himself mostly because he was confused about his feelings and the decisions he’d taken so far. I was just a reminder he made another wrong turn in his life.

He was angry at himself mostly because he was confused about his feelings and the decisions he'd taken so far. I was just a reminder he made another wrong turn in his life.Click to Tweet

Sad, but true, I was stuck in a toxic relationship.

Is your partner getting angry for no reason all the time?

It could be because he’s realized he doesn’t love you (or on his way to realizing it) and doesn’t want to face the consequences.

It could be because he's realised he doesn't love you (or on his way to realising it) and doesn't want to face the consequences.Click to Tweet

10. He doesn’t need your opinion anymore

couple-looking-at-phones-in-bed

It’s not like he has to ask you for permission or anything like that. He is free to do whatever he wants with his life.

Or is he?

It's not like he has to ask you for permission or anything like that. He is free to do whatever he wants with his life. Or is he?Click to Tweet

If you are in a serious relationship (or want to be in such), almost every decision you take will affect the other person in one way or another.

If you are in a serious relationship (or want to be in such), almost every decision you take will affect the other person in one way or another.Click to Tweet

It’s a no-brainer that if he wants to quit his job and you live together that will affect you. Or he starts smoking, gets into a fight with his family, or even decides to go vegan.

Whatever it is, if he decides to change something in his life – it will affect you. And that’s normal. That’s why we call the relationship a partnership too.

Whatever it is, if he decides to change something in his life - it will affect you. And that's normal. That's why we call the relationship a partnership too.Click to Tweet

You are the CEOs of your company (the relationship).

Does your guy ignore you when he has to decide on something important in his life? Are you the last to find out what’s going on with him?

That might be a huge sign he doesn’t care about you anymore and to him, your opinion doesn’t matter.

11. He is texting other girls

man-cheating-woman-in-bed

Seriously!

Why would he do that if he truly loves you?

Because he’s free to do whatever he wants with his life?

Fair enough.

But what about you? Where do you stand in this situation?

Pretending it’s OK to see him chatting and flirting with others?

If a situation like that doesn’t make you feel loved and isn’t comfortable for you, just pack your bags and move on with your life. He doesn’t care about your feelings.

12. He doesn’t make time for you

woman-looking-down-sad

I get it, we all are busy living our lives.

Want to know a secret your man doesn’t want to admit?

If he truly loved you, he would make time for you.

If he truly loved you, he would make time for you.Click to Tweet

Does he love playing games? I bet he makes time to play.

Does he like spending time with his friends? I bet he makes time for them too.

When we love doing something or being with someone, our whole life gravitates around the idea to end up doing that thing or being with that person.

When we love doing something or being with someone, our whole life gravitates around the idea to end up doing that thing or being with that person.Click to Tweet

As simple as that.

Just look at yourself.

You make time for you two because you care about him. How does he reply to that? Does he even care about you?

You make time for you two because you care about him. How does he reply to that? Does he even care about you?Click to Tweet

13. When you tell him you love him, he hesitates before answering

man-looking-at-the-sky-dissapointed

I know it hurts.

And I know what’s the worse part of it…

It’s the fact that every time you tell him you love him and see his hesitation something dies inside you. Every. Time.

It's the fact that every time you tell him you love him and see his hesitation something dies inside you. Every. Single. Time.Click to Tweet

Because deep down in yourself you know he doesn’t love you anymore.

There shouldn’t be any hesitation, any pause, no looking away or rolling his eyes — none of that.

There should be love. Unconditional.

There should be love. Unconditional.Click to Tweet

14. He refuses to talk about it and gets angry

woman-yelling-at-man

Be honest.

Would you get angry if he’d come to you and tell you he isn’t sure you love him?

No.

You would be worried, would ask him what made him feel that way, you would be concerned you did something that misled him.

So, why does he get angry about it if you ask him the same?

Why does he hides behind his anger and uses it to avoid the painful conversation?

I’ll tell you why.

It’s because he knows he cannot hide it as well as he wants.

He doesn’t love you anymore and needs time to accept this. Anger and attack is the best defensive tactic ever. So, he uses it every time he needs to drag the attention away from the problems.

He doesn't love you anymore and needs time to accept this. Anger and attack is the best defensive tactic ever. So, he uses it every time he needs to drag the attention away from the problems.Click to Tweet

15. If you don’t contact him, he probably won’t contact you either

15. If you don't contact him he will not contact you

Have you ever wondered why he never texts you first in the morning?

Do you want to know why he never calls you just to hear how you are?

That’s the one sign he doesn’t love you that screams “disrespect” so loud that it would be nonsense to ignore it.

Do you wonder in how many other ways he is disrespecting you? Head over to this post to see the 10 most disturbing signs of disrespect you most likely ignore all the time. 

16. Intimacy doesn’t feel so intimate anymore

argued-couple-back-in-back-in-bed

Have you noticed that your love life gets colder and emotionless?

In fact, you still do it, and it’s still nice…

Except, it doesn’t feel so connecting and intimate anymore.

It feels cold, and it’s like you do it “just because you are good at it”.

Yep, that’s a sign he doesn’t have any deep feelings for you. He doesn’t really love you.

17. He doesn’t make plans with you

man-holding-his-chin-in-hand

That’s one of the biggest signs he doesn’t love you anymore and I must admit…

Even I’ve done that one.

I was with a guy, and I was planning to break up with him when we see each other, but he kept texting me to make plans for Christmas. I made up some stupid excuse and hated myself for it. But it was just for a day or two.

What if your guy doesn’t want to make any plans for the future with you?

There’s only one logical reason: he doesn’t plan to spend that future with you.

What if your guy doesn't want to make any plans for the future with you? There's only one logical reason: he doesn't plan to spend that future with you.Click to Tweet

Bonus Sign He Isn’t In Love With You Anymore

man-holding-wedding-ring

There is one more sign he doesn’t love you anymore, and it’s the most important one.

It’s the fact you don’t feel loved.

I’ve said it so many times on this blog – I know how it feels to be loved, and I know how it hurts if you aren’t loved.

I know how it feels to be loved, and I know how it hurts if you aren't loved.Click to Tweet

It’s not only that you don’t feel he loves you, but you feel ignored, hurt and meaningless.

It's not only that you don't feel he loves you, but you feel ignored, hurt and meaningless.Click to Tweet

And that’s the biggest sign you must end things with him. Don’t wait for him to decide your future. Life is too short and too beautiful to waste it waiting for someone to man-up.

Don't wait for him to decide your future. Life is too short and too beautiful to waste it waiting for someone to man-up.Click to Tweet

Want to know one more secret?

More often than not, we ignore the little voice in our head that screams “Run!” all the time. We choose to fight for him, to prove him we deserve his attention, to force him to accept us in his life.

We search for proofs he doesn’t love us just to be sure he doesn’t cover the points.

We search for proofs he doesn't love us just to be sure he doesn't cover the points.Click to Tweet

But he does.

Am I right?

Share in the comment below your signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

Be strong, and as a person who’s gone through all this and more, I could tell you: There is someone who waits for you to start loving yourself so he could start loving you too.

There is someone who waits for you to start loving yourself so he could start loving you too.Click to Tweet

What to do next?

A while ago, I gathered a team of professional relationship bloggers and relationship coaches and asked them to share their best relationship resources for free with you.

Many of these free resources will help you in your current situation.

You could find the full list of over 15 free relationship resources here.

Related to Signs He Doesn’t Love You Posts:

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17 Honest Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

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10 thoughts on “17 Brutally Honest Signs He Doesn’t Love You Anymore”

  1. Anonymous girl

    I’ve come here seeking answers just like I do every time I’m torn up from another day of hell feeling like an inadequate burden at the hands of my partner. What’s sad is that I already know all the answers after so many years but I’m trapped into feeling like “it’ll get better” when I know it won’t. Sometimes I feel like if I got in a freak accident that killed me I’d be better off. I wouldn’t have to deal with the horrible heartbreak in this it out if it while I got inevitably harassed by him.
    I hate my life and if I could go back I’d never have layed eyes on him. I give so much for nothing and now I have nothing left of myself to give anyone else.

    1. My heart sinks when I read your comment, dear girl! I’ve been where you are and trust me, behind the corner of self-love and self-respect lays the biggest happiness you could ever imagine. The question is – are you going to take that turn?

  2. Oh my God! I was just flowing out in tears, this is my story you’ve shared. In fact I assumed you were monitoring us day in day out. This is exactly what’s going on in my relationship and I’m totally confused and don’t know what to do right now but I really do love this guy. please advice me, what should be my next step. Thanks for the tips. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks!!!

    1. I’m sorry to hear he actually hits most of the points in the post. I’m not sure I can advise you anything else but to listen to your guts and decide on staying with a person who doesn’t care about you is a healthy decision. You matter, Philomena! And you need a guy who acts like you’re important to him.

      1. Hi, thanks so much for your care and idea! I think I got to decide now because there’s a saying that goes, A word to a wise is enough and so far as action speaks louder than words, I got to shine my eyes, open it wider and there I go for the betterment of my life. Am too young to face and as far as there’s hope, there’s life. Thanks Dearies.

        1. Yes! I love that attitude! There’s a lot more ahead of you and I’m sure that once you choose to put your happiness as a priority, The Universe will answer with the same!

        2. Linda Klopotowski

          Hello, I have been reading your blog and find it very interesting.
          My husband and I have been together for nearly 18Yrs, we married two years after we had met, at first he would tell me he loved me, but was Never tactile and Never initiated Sex
          Both of those was myself. Five years in i was Diagnosed with Colon Cancer and for a year and a half I was really poorly, he didn’t seem phased in fact he told me, he was moving in to the back bedroom.
          As when I had my operation he was, bothered he would catch the staples in my tummy.
          So, that was the start of his sleeping away from me, and it’s been the same ever since that now being Ten years, their has been no intimacy ever since, nor was there two and a half years in to our relationship.
          I try speaking to him he gets mad and says it’s not the most important thing in life, and to shut up about it. But I have explained it is to me, and it makes me feel less of a woman. All the way through my cancer he never came and sat with me, and said ” We will get through this, or ask me how I was feeling.
          My daughter would work Twelve hour shifts and come and cook for us, because he wouldn’t. She had word’s with him and explained how ill I was, he replied, ” I make her, a slice of toast every morning.” It turns out after having a conversation with his Aunt, which she Initiated, that he was like this with his other partner of Thirteen years, so she had kicked him out.
          I have straight out asked him, ” Are you gay.” He said ” No I’m not.” I’ve come to think he just has no feelings, End off.
          We go nowhere together, nor do we do anything together.
          I just want to be loved, feel arms around me, have a good conversation with a man. And i surely want a man, to want to make love to me, and visa versa.
          My husband and I, are house mates that’s all, I’m not a stupid woman yet I put up with it.
          In my past two relationships, I was beaten for Twelve years, then for Eight and half years the one I thought to be my soul mate, turned out to be having affairs behind my back. So due to this I say, Well he doesn’t beat me, or mess around behind my back.
          But those excuses are very thin now.
          I’m told I’m a very attractive woman, and my grown children are forever telling me, Get Out, you fought cancer, and look at you.
          You deserve to be loved, and to love.
          I have just made up Sixty Two, I ask myself, ” Will I ever be loved again, feel a man’s arms around me.
          Will I ever be intimate with a man again,?? Or is this it.
          I’d hate to think it is. When I go out with my Daughter which is every now and then, she tells me. Your being watched Mum.
          But I think we’ll.
          I am so very unhappy.

  3. Hey girl, this post has reminded me of my ex boyfriend! lol! You have listed all the signs that he doesn’t love me anymore that I experienced in my past relationship. If I could have turn back time, I wish I had read this post, so I wasn’t trap for a miserable relationship in a long time. However, I am happier now and thankful with that experience because that’s how I’ve learned. Thank you for this awesome article that will definitely help all women in their dating and relationship journey.

    1. Oh my, I know this feeling so well 🙂 I want to turn back the time too and have a good chat with my younger Me on what to expect in love and what to do when all of these signs come from the very person she has high hopes. But we live, and we learn, I guess… As long as we are happy where we are, everything that’s happened in the past was worth it.

      1. I keep getting redirected to this message in search of does he even care? Ive been with my bf for over 2 yrs now, and lived with him the last year. He moved in with me to sell his house for us (me, him, and his 2 plus my 2 kids) to go buy a house together. He says we are gonna be together forever, but a month ago I had a dilemma based off our kids and now his actions to me have changed drastically. I feel meaningless. And he’s basically shut down and pushing me away. And our views on raising kids is so different. I keep praying about it, but so far confused. I love him, but I honestly feel he’s falling out of love with me. With so much about to happen with big decisions…im at a loss of words with him. I dont want to risk everything just for him to realize a month after we buy a house im not what he wants. But I cant talk about it cause its turned around on me. How do I even begin to deal so its not me in the wrong again? And me and my kids having to once again move somewhere else cause he’s unhappy being with me?

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