15 Alarming Signs You Don’t Love Him Anymore

Okay, here’s the deal! You’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but you aren’t brave enough to admit it.

I will do it for you! You don’t love him anymore. In fact, you don’t really care about him and that’s scary because months ago you were so happy and optimistic about that relationship you have.

But things change. People change. You’ve changed… or maybe him? Does it matter?

See 15 signs you don’t love him anymore and you seriously (like, seriously) want out of the relationship.

And if you agree with all that, then be sure to check this post on how to break up with someone if you live with them.

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1. You Don’t Call Him Anymore

Remember when you first got together, and you couldn’t wait until he called you? “Should I call him first?” you asked yourself at least five times a day. Eventually, you would dial his number, and while you were waiting for him to pick up, your heartbeat would go up, your palms would start to sweat, and you would feel so nervous that you could almost scream from the top of your lungs. 

Does that still happen, or do you forget he even exists if he doesn’t call you first? If calling him at least once a day seems like something you have to do rather than something you want to do, then you know the answer to the question, “Am I still in love?”.

2. You Fantasize About Being Single

When I was fresh out of college, I got together with a guy who lived in the same city. It was good initially, but then it started being obvious that we were not meant to be. But at the time, I preferred to stay with him because he made me feel comfortable (I know, I can be selfish sometimes). 

But while we were still together, I used to daydream all the time about being single. When people are in love, they don’t fantasize about being alone. So, if you’re doing the same, you’re not really in love. 

3. You Fantasize About Being With Someone Else

When I was still with that same guy (we were together for way too long), at some point, I even started fantasizing about being with other people. I had a thing for my gym instructor, my psychology professor, the Starbucks barista near my place, and even my co-worker Kevin who eventually came out as gay. 

I admit that I flirted with the barista a couple of times, and I even told him I was single. Needless to say, that’s when I knew I needed to break up with my current boyfriend. People in healthy relationships don’t flirt with baristas, which means they’re not in love anymore.

4. You Make Plans Without Him

How many times have you preferred to hang out with your friends than spend the night at his place? And which option seems more fun to you?

If going out with anyone other than your boyfriend seems like the better option, then you’re probably not in love with him anymore and should reconsider your relationship with him.

5. You Don’t Want Him To Come Over 

My friend Megan got together with a boy from her cooking class. They didn’t last long, a little more than two months. However, by the end of it, she was so sick of him that she didn’t even invite him over anymore. 

The thought of him touching her things and sleeping in her bed repulsed her. Not because he was nasty or cheeky but because she didn’t love him anymore. That’s when I told her to break up with him. There’s really no point in being with someone who you feel awkward being around. 

6. You Don’t Care About How He Feels

If you’ve noticed that his pain isn’t your pain anymore, then you’re no longer in love with your boyfriend. When two people get together in the beginning, they feel like they’re one whole. They feel empathy towards each other, and they want their partner to be happy. 

When you’re in love with a boy, and if he feels unhappy for whatever reason, you feel like you’re also unhappy. And how do you know when you’re not in love anymore? When you’re less impacted by his emotions. 

7. You Assume Everything Is His Fault

In a perfect relationship, both partners support each other no matter what. But when the love is gone, things might change. If you’re not in love with your boyfriend anymore, you could get a little unsupportive. For example, if he’s going through a negative situation, you may act like it’s his own fault to be there. 

And it could get even worse. You could start blaming him for all the uncertainties in your life. Did you get a speeding ticket? It’s his fault for distracting you while you were driving. You were texting other guys, and he confronted you about it? He had no business looking through your phone in the first place.

To sum up, assuming everything is his fault is a side effect of loss of attraction. And you could start getting sort of toxic if you don’t make the conscious effort to break up with him before it gets worse. 

8. You Often Feel Annoyed By Him 

So you feel like you’ve fallen out of love. Let me guess – you can’t stop rolling your eyes at him. If your temper’s suddenly on a very short leash when you’re around him, it’s likely that you truly have no feelings for that person anymore.

I’ve had my fair share of toxic relationships. And trust me when I tell you, the moment you start getting annoyed by him for the smallest things is where you should draw the line. Can you imagine staying with him forever and having to bear all those things every day? Because I couldn’t. 

9. Getting Physical With Him Seems Unnatural

There’s a lot of passion at the beginning of every relationship. Snuggling, kissing, and spending long Sunday mornings in bed are just a few examples. With time it’s natural for the passion to go away to a certain extent. But the moment you stop wanting him in your private space at all is when things should end.

If your love life has gone out the window, then you probably don’t feel like you need his affection anymore. In many cases, if the woman has fallen out of love, just the thought of getting physical seems unnatural. And that’s how you know there’s no love in a relationship.

10. You Don’t Want To Put The Effort Anymore

It’s natural for people in relationships to have arguments. Some disagreements every now and then are normal. But you know that the relationship is healthy when both people put effort into resolving those issues. If you don’t want to put in the effort, you’re no longer in love with him.

People in healthy relationships know how to address their issues and work towards a resolution. That could mean making compromises. Lack of effort and willingness to compromise is how you know you are no longer in love.

11. You Can Imagine Your Future With Him

Relationships go one of two ways – you either get married and stay together forever, or you eventually break up. There’s no way around it. If you think you will be with your boo forever, you probably imagine your future with him. And more specifically, you can’t imagine your future without him.

But if he’s not there when you daydream about your future, then you’re probably not meant to last. Have you noticed that you avoid talking about your future at all? Maybe that’s because he’s not in the picture. 

12. The Cute Stuff Isn’t Cute Anymore

We all do and say cringe-worthy things sometimes. But if the person we’re in a relationship with really loves us, they find these things cute rather than annoying.

So, are there any things that your boyfriend did that you used to find cute, but now you vomit a little in your throat every time he did them? For example, his dance movies used to get you all hot and bothered, and now you pretend you don’t know him every time he does the boodie (I speak from experience here).

13. The Relationship Feels Like An Obligation

If spending time together, being intimate, and having a conversation feels more like an obligation, then you have to break up with him. You should do all these things because you want to, not because you have to. At least, that’s what true love should be.

A feeling of obligation is definitely not a healthy emotion. And although everyone has had their sounds about the relationship they’re in, feeling obliged to be with your partner is a sign you shouldn’t be together anymore.

14. Being Around Other Couples Is Awkward

Does being around happy couples just remind you that you’re not part of one? You know where I’m going with this one. And that’s why I’ll keep it short. If healthy relationships are constantly reminded of everything your relationship lacks, you should probably end it.

15. Conversations Get Boring

Good conversation is one of the foundations of every relationship. You need to be able to express yourself freely, without feeling that you’re being judged or without being afraid that you sound boring. If the conversation between you and your boyfriend has gone from stimulating to ‘struggling to stay awake’ dull, then you have fallen out of love.

Final thoughts

How many of these signs you don’t love your him anymore did you tick off your list? did you recognize yourself in three of these situations? If yes, then I have some bad news for you – you just aren’t into him anymore. And you know what? That’s okay! Life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t give you the thrill anymore. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, but it does mean he is not your person.

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