How do you know if he is not the one for you?
How do you know if your partner isn’t worthy of you and you shouldn’t be together? Or maybe, he’s a good guy, but that still doesn’t mean you’ll be happy with him.
How to tell if he is not The One?
In this post, I will tell the 17 tops signs that should alert you he is not the one you should be with?
Maybe you’ve been together for a while and the thought of staying together forever is in your head. Maybe you’ve settled and dream of a white dress and baby cooing.
But is he the right guy for these things?
1. He is not The One for you if you compromise… a lot!
Every happy relationship requires compromises. That’s one of the top 10 habits for building a healthy relationship.
But, in your relationship, you compromise… a lot!
Actually, it feels like only you compromise with everything.
If your boyfriend doesn’t like to step back and find a solution that makes both of you happy; if he just tells you “It’s this or nothing!” and then ignores you until you change your opinion, then he isn’t the right guy for you.
Mutual understanding, compassion and urge to make the other happy are traits of every happy relationship. You know, a relationship is a partnership. You both own 50% of it and if one of you isn’t willing to give his share and contribute to your happiness, then the deal should be off – and he – out of your life.
2. He is not the one if you want to change him
If you’ve got a list Top 10 Things I’d Change About You, then you’re with the wrong guy.
Love changes us. That change starts slowly the moment we meet the right person. But that “right person” would never ask from us to change.
We all crave to be accepted and appreciated who we are. If you aren’t happy with the person by your side, he isn’t the right one for you.
The same goes the other way around. If your boyfriend keeps asking you to change and isn’t happy with who you are – don’t change. It’s not worth it. A healthy and happy relationship could only exist when two people sync together, each one of them perfectly imperfect, and both of them happy with the other’s imperfections.
3. He isn’t the one if your friends and family aren’t ok with that
Your family and your friends are the people who know you longer than your boyfriend. They know you at your lowest and your highest points in life. They wipe your tears after every guy who breaks your heart. They understand you; they feel you when you’re happy and they also know when you aren’t happy.
If your family and your friends hint at you that your guy isn’t a good fit for you, the least you could do is try to see why. Remember, they just want the best for you.
Related Post: 17 BRUTALLY HONEST SIGNS HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
4. He is not the right guy for you if you don’t trust him
All’s well, but you just don’t trust him. His actions don’t match his words? Maybe there’s some weird vibe you feel around him every now and then?
If you don’t trust your partner, then your relationship goes towards its end. Effective communication, trust and respect are the pillars of a healthy relationship. If one of them is missing – the relationship falls apart.
But what if you trust him, but he doesn’t trust you?
The same thing goes both ways. It’s painful to know that your loved one doesn’t trust you. You feel guilty of doing or saying things you’ve never done or said. That’s not how a healthy relationship works.
Related Post: 10 SIGNS OF DISRESPECT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
5. He is not the right guy if you cannot rely on him
It’s as simple as that. Yes, you are an independent woman. Of course, you can look after yourself. But your loved one should be ready to hold your back and you should know you could rely on him.
If you don’t feel like you could rely on your boyfriend, he’s irresponsible and you cannot trust him in the moments you need him the most… what else is left to be considered as The One?
Related Post: 20 WARNING SIGNS YOU ARE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
6. He isn’t The One if you want different things in life
He wants to live in a big city and build a successful career. You want to backpack around the country and then settle in a small village near the seaside. Different plans and goals for the future are dealbreakers. Even if he compromises with something, can you be sure that he won’t blame you for crashing his dreams?
7. He is not the right for you if you have different values
Now, here we’re talking about the real dealbreakers.
Kids or no kids? Marriage or never-getting-married? Different religion? Different opinions on drugs and alcohol? What are your dealbreakers? You have such.
If you share different values in life this will ruin your future. He isn’t The One for you if he doesn’t value the same things in life.
My previous boyfriend used to spend his weekends drinking and partying. I spend my weekends reading books and watching films. Our lifestyles didn’t match and for a long period of time, I didn’t want to see that.
But things like that are dealbreakers. Because such things show the person’s priorities. And priorities are what run our lives.
Is he The One for you?
8. You feel he’s a good guy but you still don’t see him as the right guy for you
I’ve met many good guys in my life. They looked and sounded like “the perfect match”. They treated me well and there wasn’t anything specific about them that I wouldn’t like… Yet, none of them was the right guy for me.
Just because someone ticks all the boxes off, it doesn’t mean he is the right person for you.
Sometimes you just feel it even though you can’t name it.
If your guts tell you there’s someone else for you – listen to them.
9. He isn’t The One for you if you’re settled but not in love
You met him. You liked him. You got into a relationship with him.
And now, you share the same address and your life went into the rut – mornings together, work, dinner, weekends. You have the same friends, your families know each other. You are like a married couple.
But you aren’t in love with him.
Being settled in the relationship is often confused with being in love. After a while, every relationship gets into a rut. But real love doesn’t make you wonder if he is the right guy for you. And if you read this post, I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you something.
Related Post: 8 SIGNS YOU WILL BREAK UP SOON
10. He isn’t your future husband if you don’t mind not seeing him for a while
Of course, you aren’t glued together. You both have your personal lives. If he has his things and you have your things, and you don’t see each other for a few days or a full week… that’s ok. You don’t mind.
Well, you should.
No, you aren’t glued together. But you are a couple. And if you claim your relationship is serious, you must know that being together is kind of a part of the relationship. Going for too long on your own and not minding it is great… for a while.
But don’t you miss each other? No? Then that’s a problem and you must know that he isn’t the one for you.
11. He isn’t the right person for you if you are bored around him
That’s a no-brainer.
If you’re bored around him today, how would it be in 10 years from now?
The right guy isn’t going to entertain you 24 hours a day, but you won’t feel bored being with him. Enjoying some quiet time and relaxing together in silence is magical with the right person … and torture with the wrong one.
12. He isn’t The One for you if he’s rushing you
He wants you to move in together after just a few weeks together. He wants to meet your family, right now. He wants you to get married and have babies. He wants to … He’s rushing through the relationship like it’s a competition.
You know… when I met my fiance we kind of rushed a few of the things. We moved in together after only three months into the relationship, and we got engaged after another five months. But I was perfectly happy with it. I had just entered into my thirties and I was looking for the right guy to create a family with. I never regretted my choice.
But if you aren’t ready to jump from the first date coffee into the white dress, then something’s not ok. If you don’t feel like getting married and having kids, right now, but he’s pushing you to do all that – he isn’t the right guy for you.
You must be on the same page about how serious your relationship is or none of you will be happy in it.
Related Post: 7 THINGS TO DO WHEN HE DISRESPECTS YOU
13. He isn’t the one for you if you cannot be yourself around him
Girls are crazy.
We are emotional, happy, cheerful and we jump around like little kids when we’re happy. We cry and isolate ourselves, shout and twist things to fit us when we aren’t happy. And that’s ok.
You should feel comfortable sharing every aspect of yourself with your loved one. Why would it be ok to sleep in the same bed but it’s not ok to tell and show him how you feel?
If your partner criticises and judges you when you’re being yourself, he is definitely not the right guy for you.
14. He isn’t the right guy if you have more rough moments than happy ones
All couples fight. All couples have problems. All couples have rough moments.
But they are just that – “moments” that come and go.
However, the easiest way to tell if your boyfriend is the right guy for you is if you have more rough moments than happy ones. Do you fight too often? Do you struggle with finding a common language? How often do you get to the point when one of you is fed up with the other?
A healthy and happy relationship must give exactly that – a healthy and happy life. You feel empowered and strong together, the other person is your shelter and support, not your enemy.
If you aren’t happy with him 90% of your time, he isn’t the right guy for you.
15. He isn’t the right guy for you if he doesn’t want to commit to you
He doesn’t want to go exclusive in the relationship? Why would you even consider him as The One? Obviously, he doesn’t want you to be his “One and only”.
Men struggle with commitment, that’s not a secret. They do it later, they try to “live their life” fully while they’re in their twenties (and thirties) and so on.
Although I don’t understand how being with someone who truly loves you robes you from “living your life”, I must accept that some men are just built like that.
But you aren’t. And not all of them see a committed relationship with a girl as a punishment they must delay as long as possible.
Your right guy will commit to you without even realising he’s doing it. And he will consider it as an honour to be the man who claimed you as his.
16. He isn’t The One if he doesn’t make you feel special
My fiancee and I haveour 3rd anniversary at the end of this month (November 2019). And he still makes me feel special.
Every. Single. Day.
I work from home, so he keeps doing some small things to help me feel comfortable in my home office, he kisses me on the forehead and hugs me every time I’m upset with something. He simply makes me feel a very special girl.
Please, don’t compare my relationship with yours.
But know, true love makes you feel like you’ve won the jackpot. The right person treats you right all the time. He doesn’t disrespect you because he’s tired. He won’t ignore you because you’re going through a rough time in your life and he just can’t handle you. He needs to learn how to handle you!
Could he be the right guy for you if he doesn’t make you feel special? No!
17. He isn’t the one if he isn’t happy with you
A tough one.
I know you might be happy with him, but is he happy with you? Do you know if he’s truly happy?
It takes courage and strength to turn your focus away from your happiness and see if the other person glows in your presence.
I listed so many signs he isn’t the right guy for. you, but this one will tell you if you are the right girl for you.
The idea of being with someone is simple – we aren’t made to live alone. We constantly crave effective communication and appreciation. We want to be noticed, admired. We need to see ourselves in the eyes of another human being.
We want to be loved.
You want to be loved.
You want to be happy.
So does he.
Does he look happy? Does he ignore something important in his life because of you? Is he compromising with too many things, just to make you happy?
It hurts to look in the mirror. But that doesn’t make you the bad person in the relationship.
It just tells you that he isn’t the right person for you and you aren’t The One for him.
He isn’t the one for you – related posts
- 10 LOVE LESSONS YOU SHOULD LEARN SO YOU NEVER HURT AGAIN
- ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
- 8 SIGNS YOU WILL BREAK UP SOON
- 17 BRUTALLY HONEST SIGNS HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
- 20 WARNING SIGNS YOU ARE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
↓Liked this post? Please, share↓