One of the biggest challenges I used to face when I was single was the constant choking feeling of loneliness. While all of my friends were busy planning their family weekends, and later on, their first and second children, I was going through a rough path of living the single life with occasional toxic relationship every few steps.
Yet, there are so many different things you could do by yourself and feel happy and content.
Because here’s the thing…
A relationship can never define your level of happiness, but it could contribute to it.
Is This You?
Your relationship ended a while ago, and even though you realize it was for the best, there is a little problem you face too often to ignore – the feeling of loneliness.
While Fridays used to be date nights, and weekends were turning into adventures, now you might be struggling to accept that being single means you have to face everything… as a single.
I congratulate you for taking the effort to understand that being single is better than being with someone who doesn’t deserve and appreciate you.
And the feeling of loneliness… it will go away with time, but meanwhile… here’s what to do when you feel lonely after a breakup.
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1. Reach out to friends and family
Breakups come with pain and trauma, especially if you’ve been in a long-term relationship. It’s not easy. But you don’t have to go through it alone. In the moments when you feel heartbroken and lonely is when you need your friends. So don’t be afraid to reach out to them.
Sometimes it might be hard to admit that you’re hurting. Trust me, I know. I’ve always been the strong one, or at least that is how I want people to see me. But it’s completely normal to be confused and lonely after a breakup.
When I was going through the hardest breakup of my life, I was unlucky enough to be in a different city. I’d recently relocated, and I didn’t have any friends. I felt utterly alone and heartbroken, and the worst part was that I didn’t have any shoulder to cry on.
If you’re also in a similar situation, you need to remember that your pain won’t last forever. Reach out to people, even if it’s through one of your devices.
I know it sounds ridiculous but finding friends online might also help. Make use of the internet for your advantage. Join communities, blogs, and forums. What’s important is not to feel alone, even if you are.
2. When feeling lonely after a breakup… practice self-care
If you don’t know what to do when feeling lonely after a breakup, it might be a good idea to focus on yourself.
Release the negative beliefs about being alone. It’s not all bad. Think of it as a rebirth. You’re closing one chapter of your life only to open a new one.
This is the moment when you need to practice self-compassion the most. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. Focus on self-care. And move on with your life.
3. Get to know yourself better
When the person with whom I was most vulnerable broke my heart, it left me feeling inadequate and worthless. And it took me a long time to recover. But I still had a long list of things I was grateful for. One of them – I still had me. Yes, I was by myself, but that left me a lot of space for personal growth.
I know that you might feel lost and confused. Maybe you don’t even know who you are without that person. But that doesn’t mean you’ve lost yourself entirely.
It’s important to recognize your emotions but don’t let them consume you. Accept the situation, don’t fight against it, but also definitely don’t give up.
3. Turn to spirituality
Now, before you turn your head in disagreement, let me explain. Spirituality doesn’t mean religion. I’m not a religious person, but some spiritual practices really helped me while I was going through the breakup.
The first practice I turned to was meditation. In the beginning, it was hard to rest my mind and not think about all the negative things that came into my mind. But with time, I learned how to let go of them. Practicing meditation will balance the chemicals in your brain and will help you be more mindful.
The other thing I did was yoga. I signed up for yoga classes in the city I recently relocated to. It’s not only a great physical exercise, but it also helps with releasing tension. What’s more, I met some cool people, and I (finally) made a couple of friends.
5. Healthy distractions
I’ll keep this one short. Healthy distractions such as Netflix, podcasts, and books will help you cope with loneliness after a breakup. By keeping yourself busy, you don’t think about the separation.
Well, I’m not saying that you should totally ignore how you feel. I’m simply suggesting that you shouldn’t let those feelings drain you out.
6. Pick up a new hobby
This self-care tip is my favorite. There is no a better way to rediscover yourself than to pick up a new hobby. And don’t give up when you’re not good at it first. The point isn’t to master it; it’s to try out new things that resonate with the new version of you.
For example, I’ve always been an artist at heart, but I never invested much time and energy into it. After the breakup, one of the first things I did was go to the local art shop and buy acrylic paints and a canvas. And believe me when I tell you my first painting sucked big time. But I had so much fun. Now I do it regularly. When things get tough, I turn to paint. It’s sort of therapeutic.
You can do the same. Find a new hobby and stick to it. It’s a healthy way to cope with negative emotions.
7. Start dating again (if you’re ready for it)
My mom always told me, “The only way to get over a man is by finding another man.” Now when I think about it, this sounds completely wrong and might lead to a toxic relationship.
But if I have to be honest, there’s some sort of truth in those words. You don’t have to start looking for a relationship right away. But receiving some attention might boost your self-confidence.
Three weeks after my breakup, I downloaded Tinder (I know…I know). Usually, I’m not a fan of internet dating, but I have to say scrolling through all the options raised my spirits a bit.
Another thing you can do is start texting guys on Instagram. Of course, you should stop the moment you feel uncomfortable.
It’s okay not to be ready for dating right after the breakup. But think about it. Now that you’re single, you can allow yourself to be flirty and playful with several guys at the same time without promising them anything.
Put yourself out there, girl! You never know what the wind might blow your way.
8. When you feel lonely after a breakup… get a pet
On the other hand, my grandma told me, “The only way to get over a man is by getting a dog.”. Okay, I made this up; nana never said that. But it’s true, I promise!
When I think about my previous relationships, I realize that I’ve played the role of a caretaker. I want my partner to feel comfortable with me. I like to cook for them, comfort them when they need it and be there for them in the most genuine way.
So, after the breakup and after Tinder stopped giving me the satisfaction, I started feeling lonely again. So I got a cat. I named her Sushi, after my favorite food. She still lives with me, and I love her to death.
And no joke, this tiny fluffball got me out of the darkest period of my life. I finally had someone to take care of that loved me back. I grew up with cats, so it was comforting for me to get my own finally.
I know I’m such a stereotype – the crazy single woman with the cat. But if you’ve ever had a pet, you’ll understand the huge difference it makes.
So, how to overcome loneliness after a breakup? Get a pet.
Conclusion
Which one of these tips have you tried already? Do you have something to add? Which one will you try next? getting over a breakup and overcoming feelings of loneliness while you are single isn’t just a period of your life, but a journey of self-discovery and personal growth that might very well turn into the best time of your life. Enjoy it as I promise, you will miss it one day.
What To Do When You Feel Lonely After a Breakup
A media major graduate with a knack for writing who loves to dive into people’s psyches. My goal? To educate as many people as possible about eye-opening insights on love and relationships based on my own experience.
