Recovering from heartbreak is no easy task – no matter how you try to twist and turn it. You might try to fool yourself into thinking you are “fine” and “over it” but the truth is that what you need most is time.
While it might be true that time heals all wounds, it’s not the only part of the equation.
At some point, you need to get out there and start mingling with men again. Some women think they are ready to get on it as soon as a couple of days after their relationship ends; others prefer to take their time and wait it out.
No matter which category you fall into, it’s worth considering a few things before you jump in too deep, too soon.
How To Know If You Are Ready For a Relationship
First, make sure that you tied any loose ends. There is no way you will find true love if you still hold some hopes that your ex will miraculously see the error in his ways and come back to you. Take the time to come to terms with yourself and your feelings before moving on.
Second, be clear with yourself that you aren’t just jumping into a new fling as a means to get back at your ex. This is just petty, and girl, you deserve better than that! What’s been done in the past should stay in the past. Take advantage of your clean slate and enjoy it the best you can.
Third, do you know if this is really what you want?
Breakups carry a lot of emotional debris with them, and, understandably, you might be heartbroken and confused. Don’t rush to push yourself in a direction you aren’t entirely comfortable with. There is nothing shameful in taking some time off to realign with your values.
Maybe I made it sound a bit too simple but trust me, deciding if you are ready for a relationship is more complex than that. Keep on reading for the 5 tell-tale signs that you are ready for a relationship (and we will talk about 3 signs you are not afterward).
5 Signs You Are Ready For A New Relationship
1. You don’t feel like you need someone to “complete” you.
One of the most important revelations that can tell you you are ready for a relationship is the realization that… you don’t need one. Most of us think of our relationships as a “safe haven” when we feel insecure about ourselves or doubt our abilities. We count on our partners to cheer us up and give us much-needed validation. You can see how this is unrealistic – we can’t count on someone else to be responsible for our happiness.
It’s normal for some time to pass after your breakup before you start feeling yourself again. Relationships have a way of merging us together with our partners, and when they are gone, we are left vulnerable, wondering who we really are and what we really want in life. Take the time you need to solidify your individuality and to complete yourself. Trust me; you will be grateful you did this.
2. You know what you want for yourself
Building on the last point, you need to figure out what you need and want from life. Well, not everything needs to be clear to you (we are constantly changing after all), but you need to have the groundwork set at least. Think about what brings you joy, what your aspirations are, and who you want to be as a person. Remember that a partner isn’t going to make you happy solely by existing and supporting you.
Relationships work best when you are keener on sharing the love you feel for yourself, rather than being in it only to get love. The best relationship nurtures you and helps you grow rather than serves a purpose to fill the emptiness and chase your sadness away. If you feel responsible for your own happiness and ready to find someone with similar values in order to grow stronger together, you are ready for a relationship.
3. You are ready to commit
Never forget – relationships are hard work that requires commitment and compromise from both sides. Do you feel like you are ready to give your future partner the time and effort required to make them feel loved and appreciated? Are you ready to face the inevitable and unique struggles that every relationship brings to the table?
Most of the time, new relationships are a risk-taking adventure with no guarantee of a “happily ever after” – and that’s okay. You have to be at peace with knowing that your new relationship might not end up the way you imagined it, but you are willing to commit and give it a shot nevertheless.
4. You haven’t lost your belief in the good in the world
The most normal thing after a breakup is our loss of faith in the world. We all tend to become cold and cynical and go through the “I hate all men” or “No one will ever love me” phase. Staying in this mindset for too long can seriously damage you though and turn you into an unfixable pessimist. It’s important to find the right tools to break out of this way of thinking. Otherwise, you are going to struggle for a long time.
You know you are ready for a relationship when this bleak outlook on the world has faded away. When you shift your perspective from only seeing things in black and white and instead start seeing the grey nuances. If you start to believe that people aren’t as bad as you made them out to be, and deep down, they strive to be good, you just might be ready to go out there and shine on the dating scene again.
5. You self-reflected and learned from the past
Was it really all your exes’ fault, or was some part of it on you too? It’s important to reflect on your own behaviors, as well as see what it was in the past relationship that you weren’t okay with. Maybe your partner was toxic and controlling. Maybe they slowly drained you. No matter what your reflections lead to – learn from them.
It’s not uncommon for people to subconsciously fall back into familiar patterns, so if you don’t want to experience the same thing over again, be clear on what it is you don’t want. Don’t simply recognize your past mistakes and move on. Instead, actively pinpoint what your red flags are and be aware of them when you get out there.
How do you know if you are not ready for a relationship?
1. You are willing to do just about anything for a partner.
Never rush into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. This will lead to you making poor life choices and reverting back to your current situation. No one likes desperate, people-pleasing people, so don’t be one. Instead, take some time to evaluate what it is you want from a relationship, instead of clinging to someone else just for the sake of escaping loneliness.
2. You are still not over your ex
Do you still have longing feelings for your ex? Take the time to get these sorted out before you pursue any future romances. Learn the lessons being presented to you and take on a new relationship when you feel ready. Trust me; your future partner doesn’t need your unsettled emotional baggage.
3. You don’t want to be in a relationship
Even though it sounds obvious, sometimes people ignore their instincts. If you don’t feel ready for a relationship, why would you force yourself to be in one? Be truthful to yourself – you and anyone else potentially involved in your situation will appreciate that. Your reasons for not wanting to rush are valid, so honor yourself and give yourself a proper chance to heal, so you can come out better and stronger.
Final Thoughts on How To Know You Are Ready For a Relationship
In the end, all that matters is to listen to you here, and that’s not just a cheesy song from the last century. Listen to your heart that will tell you if you need more time to heal from your previous relationships or more time to love yourself more and better. Listen to your heart when it tells you to give someone a chance and see where it leads you. That’s when you know you are ready for a relationship.
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How To Know If you Are Ready For a Relationship
Blogger, dreamer, procrastinator, and lover of everything soul-touching. My mission is to make you laugh, provoke your thoughts, light up your day and inspire you to fall in love with life and yourself.
