Having a significant other can be very enriching for our lives. It feels as if you can tell this person everything, hang around forever together and always rely on them for support.
However, if you stay together long enough you will eventually come to a moment when the honeymoon phase is over and you find yourself being dependent on the other person for so many things in life.
Standing behind your own independence is such an important moment of building a fulfilling partnership with the one you love. So, how to be independent in a relationship without missing quality time together?
Don’t forget that healthy relationships are made of two independent people who choose to share their lives and grow together.
What does it mean to be independent in a relationship?
A lot of people confuse independence as means of dominating your partner or forcing your opinions on them.
This notion couldn’t be more wrong. Being independent in a relationship simply means that you know who you are as an individual and don’t lose yourself within the relationship.
A relationship shouldn’t strip you of your past interests and passions, nor does it mean you have to spend every waking minute alongside your partner. Such a way of thinking often leads to codependent behavior, which is ultimately one of the most toxic situations you can find yourself in.
Romantic relationships can bring a lot of happiness and good in our lives, but this can only happen if we are full-ledged people outside the relationship in the first place.
Why you should stay independent in the relationship?
Maintaining our independence in the relationship is crucial if we want to feel satisfied with ourselves. Every individual is made up of their own values, dreams, and aspirations – they make us who we are. Stripping down our independence often means that these integral parts of our individuality get lost, which shakes up our identity.
A healthy relationship is a beautiful mix of two individuals who have their own personal interests, passions, and values. Such a relationship enriches both partners, allowing them to experience things they usually wouldn’t go after on their own since they aren’t that keen on them.
By staying independent and allowing your partner independence, you will have the opportunity to grow together both as individuals and as a couple. In a way, you are helping each other be the best version of your true, authentic selves possible. Even though this may seem easy on paper (or, in this case, your screen), this can be a formidable challenge for some people.
To help you navigate what staying independent in a relationship stands for, below I have outlined 7 tips on preserving your independence in your relationship.
7 Tips on How to Stay Independent in a Relationship
1. Focus on your own hobbies.
You and your partner aren’t always going to share the same passions – and this is perfectly alright!
Instead of trying to convince them to spend time with you, doing things they aren’t keen on in the first place, don’t be afraid to spend time by yourself.
Take this chance to both relax and reflect on your own, as well as as a way to establish your independence. This is also a nice conversation topic that you can share with your partner at the end of the day.
2. Spend time with your friends.
A lot of us make that mistake. As soon as we are in a new relationship, we prefer to dedicate a tremendous amount of time to our significant other and tend to neglect our friends completely.
While this is normal at the start, it shouldn’t become a habit. Take the time to nurture your other relationships and learn from them. If your partner really loves you, they will be grateful that you have these experiences and will never stand in their way.
3. Have a life outside your relationship.
Your relationship is naturally high on your priority list, but it shouldn’t be your only priority.
It is not a sustainable source of happiness, which is why you should seek other outlets to nurture the happy feelings within you. Take the time to reflect on what other things outside your relationship are important to you and make the time to focus on them often.
For example, my partner knows that I lead a hectic life and juggle between work, university, Italian language lessons, and a marketing course while still making time for him and my social relationships. He is always excited when I tell him about my day, as he admires how I enrich his life through my experiences.
4. Stay true to yourself.
Being independent above all means that you are true to who and what you are and not trying to fit in somebody else’s perception of what you should be.
Be alert – if your partner is trying to make minor tweaks now and then about how you walk, talk, act, and the things you like, something is very, very wrong. Don’t be afraid to take a stand for yourself and defend your core values and principles, the same way you would do for a friend of yours. Remember to love and accept your partner in the same way you require their love and respect. No two people are the same, and this is the beauty of the world.
5. Don’t lose sight of your dreams.
The truly independent woman doesn’t allow her relationship to get in the way of her dreams. She knows that her aspirations likely preceded her relationship, and she needs to work hard to achieve them.
Otherwise, she will feel unsatisfied with herself. It’s normal for you and your partner to have different dreams in life, so don’t give up on yours.
Many women tend to get blindsided with love and slowly build their lives around what their partner wants and needs. While you should make yourself a priority, don’t forget to give your support to your partner’s dreams well.
6. Build your own space
This was a difficult one for me to understand until I started living with my partner.
Sharing a space with someone can quickly get frustrating, so instead of letting the heat blow up, you should have your own space somewhere to cool down. No, I am not talking about a separate apartment, Carrie Bradshaw style, but more like a separate room or workstation.
If your living situation is limited, making your own space can be something as simple as your own designated bathroom shelf or couch space. Whatever makes you feel calm and at ease.
7. Travel alone
If you want to enjoy solo travel, you don’t have to pull of an Eat, Pray, Love moment necessarily.
You can keep it simple by having a day trip to the mountains, a weekend by the beach, or even exploring an unknown neighborhood for half a day.
Basking in your own experiences can be a great way to reconnect with yourself and reinforce your feeling of self-love. This is especially true if your relationship is experiencing some more radical bumps – sometimes, a more drastic trip can be the right remedy for this situation.
Conclusion on How To Be Independent In a Relationship
Staying independent in a relationship might be hard at the very beginning when your hormones are playing with your emotions. Cuddling together every morning, planning dinners together, and visiting places always together is great. Yet, don’t forget to also stay true to your own desires, goals, and dreams.
It is so fulfilling to be in love and share your life with someone and to count on yourself regardless. You truly don’t need a relationship to feel whole, and your partner is a person you share your life with but doesn’t become your life.
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How To Stay Independent In a Relationship
Blogger, dreamer, procrastinator, and lover of everything soul-touching. My mission is to make you laugh, provoke your thoughts, light up your day and inspire you to fall in love with life and yourself.
