“He loves me but is scared to commit!”
These were my thoughts for many months in a row while I was with my ex-boyfriend.
I knew he loved me, and I knew he wanted to be with me, but something was stopping him from taking the leap and committing to a serious healthy relationship.
And while I was okay with staying on the edge of that relationship for a while, I eventually realized that he wasn’t going to get over whatever was stopping him. So I left.
But what are the signs he is scared to commit to a relationship? Please, don’t misunderstand me. You might be even living together, and he still could be afraid to commit. You will notice it in many ways throughout your life together, but here are ten signs your man is scared to commit to a relationship with you.
10 Signs A Guy Has Commitment Issues
1. He doesn’t talk about the future of the relationship
What he says: “Let’s not overthink this and see how it goes.”
If you have dated someone for a while, you might start wondering where the relationship is going. After all, you’re compatible; you enjoy each other’s company — so why not take things to the next level? And it’s normal to want to have that conversation. But if he avoids the topic, he probably has commitment issues.
A man who fears commitment will find it challenging to talk about their future with you. It’s also possible that he’s not sure how he feels or wants to continue dating you. If that’s the case, give him some time but clarify that you won’t be available forever. It’s okay for him to take things slow and figure out what he wants, but he shouldn’t treat you like an option.
2. He doesn’t seem invested in the relationship
What he says: “Yeah, whatever!”
How do you know if he’s as invested in the relationship as you? Well, if you notice that you spend less and less time together, or if he doesn’t always answer your calls and texts, then he might be scared to commit. Also, if he seems distant in general, then you might want to rethink your future with him.
Don’t think about the arguments, think about the silence. Notice how he behaves when you argue. If it seems like he doesn’t even care if you’ve dealt with the argument or not, then he’s definitely not invested in the relationship. Your partner should be all about resolving your issues together. If he doesn’t, then you should probably let him go.
See the only way to make him overcome his fear of commitment and become obsessed with you!
3. He has a hard time opening up to you
What he says: “Let’s talk about this some other time.”
For many men being emotionally available is impossible. However, as the relationship evolves, he should be able to open up with time. Emotional expression comes with building trust. If you’ve dated for a while, but you’re still not sure how he feels about you, then you should communicate it with him.
Healthy relationships involve talking about feelings and being vulnerable with each other. Therefore one of the clearest signs that he’s scared to commit to a relationship is that he’s unwilling to open up to you fully.
4. He isn’t over his past relationship
What he says: “My ex… this/that.”
We all carry some emotional baggage with us. After all, our past relationships have shaped us into the individuals we are now. However, there’s a difference between growth and baggage. If he’s not over his past relationship, then it’s possible that he’s too afraid to commit to you.
And that’s okay. But he needs to understand that he has to consciously go through it if he wants to keep you in his life.
Pay attention to how he talks about his ex. If he idolizes her and he can’t get her name out without his eyes getting misty, then you have a problem. Another indicator is if he often blames himself for breaking up with his ex. This could mean that he still wants to be with her.
See the only way to make him overcome his fear of commitment and become obsessed with you!
5. He doesn’t admit that he’s afraid of commitment
What he says: “You worry too much (about us)!”
A guy who is indeed scared of emotional commitment will not show it to you. That’s why you need to trust your intuition when it comes to that. But why do you think that men don’t want to confess that they’re scared to commit? Well, from their point of view, this is a sign of weakness. And they don’t want to appear weak.
You should talk to him if you have noticed that he’s scared to commit but won’t admit it. Tell him that there’s no need to get defensive, but he still has to talk through his issues.
Reassure him that you’re ready to help him grow out of it, and you can go through this together. And if he still doesn’t want to admit his fear of relationships, then you should probably think of yourself first and leave him before it’s too late.
6. He always has something to say about other people’s relationships
How do you know he has a negative perspective about commitment? The answer is simple – if he always comments on other people’s relationships. Some men dislike seeing other people in a relationship.
This is one of the clearest signs that they’re afraid of having one themselves.
While there are guys who just hate any form of emotional attachment, there are also those who want to have a great relationship but disagree with its structure. In a nutshell, if he only sees the negative side of relationships, he probably wants to stay out of a commitment at all costs.
And keep in mind that you’re unlikely to be able to change that.
See the only way to make him overcome his fear of commitment and become obsessed with you!
7. He constantly doubts you
What he says: “I don’t trust you/what you’re doing!”
A relationship should be a safe space where you feel grounded and free to be the best version of yourself. Your partner is supposed to be your biggest fan, encouraging you and supporting you through thick and thin. Are you dating someone that does all that for you, or does he constantly doubt you?
If you’re receiving mixed signs from him, he may be afraid of being with you in a committed relationship. One week he’s all over you, and the next one, he’s changed his mind. It’s simply impossible for him to decide. Take that from me – stay away from men that doubt you or the relationship. They’re no good news.
8. He makes you feel like you’re asking for too much
What he says: “Why are you always so needy/clingy?”
If you’re like me and want your partner to shower you with attention, then being with someone afraid of commitment is probably true torture. But even if your love language isn’t physical touch, he should never make you feel like you’re asking for too much.
You need to ask yourself the question, “Is he afraid of his feeling for me, or is he just a douchebag?”. A commitment-phobic man doesn’t want you to get close to him. He might also call you too needy or too clingy. But you’re only seeking normal affection.
See the only way to make him overcome his fear of commitment and become obsessed with you!
9. He prefers to spend his time without you
What he says: “Let’s do this some other time!”
We’ve all dated men who need “their own time in the mancave”. And giving them the space to spend quality time with their friends is the right move. But if you notice that he does that more often than he hangs out with you, then I’ve got bad news for you.
Are you his priority, or does he prefer to spend time with his fellas? Men who are seriously scared to commit will do their best to avoid spending time with you and go out with their friends instead. That’s probably because he feels sort of trapped when he’s with you, and he needs to vent. And does that also mean he’s scared of commitment? Absolutely yes.
10. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends
How long have you two dated? Do your friends know about him? I’m sure they’ve seen a picture, at least. What about his friends? Have you ever met them? Do they even know you two are a thing? Those are important questions. If you want to find out if he has commitment issues, ask him to hang out with his friends together. His reaction is worth more than a thousand words.
There’s also a chance that he wouldn’t mind. That’s great – you’ve got yourself a keeper. But if it seems like he’s avoiding the topic every time you talk about it, then he probably never told his friends about you. And what does that mean? That’s right — commitment issues.
See the only way to make him overcome his fear of commitment and become obsessed with you!
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10 Signs He Is Scared To Commit To a Relationship With You
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