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What Happens When You Stop Chasing a Man

Just a few days ago, my fiance sent me a TikTok video with a speech regarding relationships. The overall idea of the video was that men and women could never be equal in a relationship, and here’s why!

When two people are together, in a relationship, they are just like players in a band or players on a football field. Each of the people in the band/team has their role, and for the music to roll (or the team to perform well), each of the players should do their part (and do it well).

And here we come in the 21st century, trying to chase one another and convincing people they want to be in a relationship with us.

Stop chasing men!

And here is what happens when you stop chasing a man who ignores you.

In fact, there are a few possible scenarios, and no one can guarantee you the result, but all of them will guarantee the beginning.

Ready?

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When You Decide To Stop Chasing Him…

take your thoughts away from him

You have time to review your values

You have time to stop for a moment and take your thoughts away from someone who doesn’t think of you as much as you think of him.

When you take that focus away from him, you shift it towards yourself and realize that you have the time to think and re-evaluate your life.

And here are the questions that will emerge:

  • Do you seriously want to spend your time asking someone for a piece of their time?
  • Are you okay with being the chaser for the rest of the relationship? – relationship psychologists have determined that in most (unhealthy) relationships one of the partners will always be the chaser and the other will “allow” to be chased. Are you okay with that possibility?
  • If you were to look at the situation from afar, how would you describe it?
  • If that was your best friend/your younger sister would you encourage them to keep asking someone for love?

You have time to learn your lessons

When you stop chasing a man, you learn your lessons.

You understand that love isn’t a decision you could guilt-trip someone to take. And you also realize that you have the right to make a decision – to pray for someone’s love not to be unrequited or to create a new relationship with yourself where you give and receive the love you seek in others.

And I know this is hard to explain, but I’ve been where you are, and asking for love never did me any good. In fact, the more I asked for it, the less I was getting. And I ended up being obsessed with someone’s happiness who didn’t care if I was happy myself.

And learning these lessons seems always to happen when you are already desperate and must face a reality you did your best to avoid.

But here’s the thing…when you stop chasing that man, you start living your life.

You have time to nurture yourself

building relationship with yourself step

You will always be in a relationship, and yes, that’s the relationship with yourself. It is the one you were born into, and it will be present until your last breath.

And that relationship could be healthy and fulfilling, more fulfilling than any other relationship with another human being, be it a parent, sibling, or lover.

Once you realize the importance of building that healthy relationship with yourself, you get hit by the truth – it is your choice to be with someone or not, and it is their choice to be with you or not.

You gain control over yourself again

Yes, right now, the control over you lies in someone else’s hands. If he were to call you on a date in half an hour, what would your first thought be? Would you jump joyfully and hectically search for something to wear that will make him realize he’s missed on so much so far?

This reaction would mean he has control over you, and you are ready to move mountains to make him happy regardless of your values, time, plans, life.

As long as you chase him, that would mean he has control over you. And if you teach a man from the very beginning, he has control over you; he might abuse this power whenever and wherever.

Are you okay with that?

What Happens In a Man’s Mind When You Stop Chasing Him?

what happens when you stop chasing a man quotes

He is shocked!

If you go to the same candy shop every day and they always give you the best sweets for free, but one day the door is shut, and it won’t open unless you pay for your visit… you are shocked.

When you stop chasing a man, he doesn’t know if it’s because you chase someone else right now or it’s because you gave up on him.

Either way, it will leave him up in the air with no familiar ground underneath him and no road for him to walk on.

And he will have to go through the thinking and the contemplating… but it will push him to finally make the decision you’ve been asking him to make for months (or years).

He has to choose what he wants

Until this moment, you were there convincing him he wants you and needs you in his life.

You were assuring him that you would make him happy no matter what. You were proving yourself present and nurturing over and over again.

But now you are gone.

He doesn’t get the good morning message, and he doesn’t have to share his weekend plans with you. And he also doesn’t have to think of excuses why he ignored your call, didn’t answer your text, or didn’t notice your social media post on… whatever matters to you.

Once he is freed from that responsibility, he can realize if he misses those texts, the calls, and the social media posts. He can decide if he feels free and happy or wishes for everything to be back to “normal”.

But trust me, he will make his choice only when you stop chasing him.

He can try to bring things back to “normal”

He might try to get you on the same hook again because even if he denies it.. he loves the attention, the nurturing, the free love he doesn’t need to pay with anything else but his existence.

He might send you mixed signals, call you a few times, and then stay silent for another few days… just to check if you are still up for the chase and convincing him how amazing you are… and if he does, it means he knows how amazing you are.

Trust me; he doesn’t play with you. Instead, he just knows that your “situation” was fitting his expectations, his lifestyle, his reality.

Yet, when he realizes that all that actually doesn’t fit your expectations, lifestyle, and reality… he will push even harder.

And I know you might give him a chance, but if he still needs you to chase him… your pain is just about to get bigger and more suffocating.

But if you hold your ground and be honest with yourself and him, he will have to make his choice once and for all.

He will start value you

And this is the point when a man starts valuing you.

This is the point when he knows that you aren’t going to allow him to play with your feelings, heart, and life. He will understand that he must pay for the sweets with his attention, affection, gestures, feelings, and heart.

And if he truly values you, he will be ready to pay whatever the price. But if he doesn’t, you will see him walking away with the excuse that you aren’t a good fit for him and he was never into you anyway.

But if he doesn’t walk away…

He wil understand his role in a potential relationship with you

he will take role of provider quotes

When you stop chasing a man, and he still wants to be part of your life, he will understand that his role in a potential relationship will be the role of a provider and protector.

He will learn that you have boundaries, and he must respect them. He will know that his next task is to claim you as his woman or leave you alone. And that would trigger his hero instinct. See more on how to act fast for this to happen in this video here.

He will start appreciating you

This is the moment when he will start to appreciate you on another level. You will be his teammate, his other half of a whole he doesn’t want to see slipping through his fingers.

When you stop chasing a man and stand your ground, asking for what you deserve, he will respect that. He might not like it (because it was all for free until now), but he will respect it.

What Happens When You Stop Chasing a Man and Stand Your Ground?

to take you or leave you quote

He will have two choices: to take you or leave you.

And this is precisely what you want as well, don’t you?

You need a man who knows your worth, nurtures you, and respects you. He might not be the perfect man, and your relationship might not start in the great way you’d imagined, but it will be strong. Because instead of chasing you, you allowed him to choose you.

When a man has the choice in his hands, he will take his time, but if in the end, he chooses you, that means he knows he is ready to love you as long as you are with him.

So Stop Chasing Him!

Stop being the first to call. Stop asking him questions about his hobbies, dreams, career goals. Stop with the random texts with meaningless words that are meant just to remind him you exist. He knows you do… let him choose if he cares about that fact.

Stop trying your best to get appreciated, respected, noticed. You’ve got the right to be all that just by being yourself.

Stop chasing the guy who doesn’t want your attention but just your body. Stop feeding his hunger for free love. Stop giving him something he doesn’t pay for.

What happens when you stop chasing a man? You start living a happier life regardless if you share it with that man or with yourself.

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What Happens When You Stop Chasing A Man

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