He stays around you, and he says he wants you in his life, but something’s off. Your gut feeling is telling you that he doesn’t look like he is committed to this relationship as much as you are (or at all). Is he too busy with other stuff in his life? Why is he always finding an excuse for not being present in your life? What are the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you?
You’ve already had that fly buzzing in your head, and you are reading this post to find out if he truly wants to be with you. Well, these are some brutal truths below, and if you can relate to more than 3 of them, here’s the news for you – he is not serious about you.
15 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You
1. He doesn’t take you seriously
One of the clearest signs that he just doesn’t want a relationship with you is that he never takes you seriously.
How do I know that, you may ask? Well, (unfortunately) I speak from experience.
Back in college, I had a boyfriend – let’s call him Derek – that didn’t take me seriously at all. I remember telling him about my dream job and how hard I’ve been working to become a full-time writer. But for him, I was delusional. “Writing for blogs isn’t a real job” he would say. “Why don’t you become an accountant – you’re good with numbers, right?”.
He made me feel rubbish, so I eventually broke up with him. When I did that, he said that he didn’t even like me in the first place, but I was “the only option at the moment” (yes, he said that), which is why he stayed.
Sound familiar? Well, if your boo is being unsupportive, then this is an obvious sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. And if you’re ever treated like an option, like our dear Derek did to me, make sure to leave his butt by the time you finish this article.
2. He Is emotionally unavailable
Let’s get one thing straight – if you find an emotionally available man, make sure to stick to him because they’re born once in a blue moon. But if your love interest pulls back any time you drop the question of “What are we?” or “Where is the relationship going?” then he probably doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Being emotionally unavailable is a clear red flag. And you have to read between the lines if you want to figure out if he is. Does he tell you about his day, and does he want to know about yours? Does he allow himself to be vulnerable with you?
A healthy relationship is about sharing your true feelings for someone. It’s not just about the hanky panky (if you know what I mean). So, if he’s not willing to go all the way, he probably doesn’t want a relationship with you.
3. Speaking of the hanky panky…
So you’re dating a guy, and you really like him, but every time you two are together, he’s only trying to butter your biscuit. If that’s the case, then I’ve got news for you – he doesn’t want to commit.
Let’s put it that way – a guy that thinks only about doing the deed is a guy we do not need. Let this become your morning mantra.
4. Commitment issues
Think about what happens when you try to talk to him about taking things to the next level… He backs away? Maybe he changes the topic? It’s as clear as it gets – he doesn’t want a girlfriend.
There’s no need to make excuses for him. He’s not shy or taking things slowly. Men are… simpler than that. They say what they think. And if he prefers to run, what in the world should make you stay?
5. He makes you feel like asking more is wrong
It’s only natural for the relationship to evolve with time, and there’s nothing wrong with asking for it. However, some guys have the bachelor syndrome where they just don’t get why you would want to be more serious.
Well, I don’t know, Derek, maybe because I’m tired of feeling like an option.
If he ever makes you feel crazy for asking him to take things to the next level, then you shouldn’t count on that. He’ll probably always find an excuse not to be exclusive with you.
6. He’s often AWOL
You know those times when you text him, but he doesn’t respond for the next hour or so? It happens to all of us, whether we fall asleep or we are busy at work. However, if this happens on a daily basis, it might be a clear sign that he’s just not that into you.
Long days at work, having a beer with friends every evening, going away on trips without inviting you, all of these mean pretty clearly that you should not be wasting your time with that guy because he just doesn’t want a relationship with you.
One of the clearest signs that he doesn’t want to lose you is that he’ll always make time for you and that you’ll be his priority no matter what. If you’re interested in reading more about it, we wrote a whole article on all the signs he doesn’t want to lose you here.
7. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him
If you’re not able to express yourself freely with him and if you can’t be honest about your intentions, then sorry to break it to you, but he doesn’t want to be with you.
A relationship should be a one-way street where although you might be different, you have the same goals and aspirations. But if you always watch what you say because you don’t want to lose him, then you should probably back off and leave his butt. You deserve more.
8. He’s distracted when you are together
Has this ever happened to you – you’re at your favorite spot in the park with your new boo, telling him a story about your childhood dog, the birds are singing, and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. And what’s he doing? He’s checking his phone, scrolling through Instagram, and not paying much attention to you. Bummer, isn’t it? It doesn’t get any clearer than that – he just doesn’t want a girlfriend.
9. He won’t make long term plans
If you haven’t related to any of the scenarios so far, but you’re still not sure if he wants a relationship with you or not, here’s another situation.
You found that perfect getaway weekend for two. It’s in a cabin in the woods, in a remote place, only for the two of you (and no, I don’t mean like in a horror movie). It’s so romantic, and you can’t wait to spend some time off with your new love. You share your idea with him, and his response is a simple “We’ll see.” What’s that supposed to mean?
He didn’t want to come with you to your cousin’s wedding as well, he clearly isn’t interested in going on a trip now, and he never talks about your future. Do you get where I’m going with this?
10. No respect for your time and plans
I was really into a guy some years ago, and we would always text. We went out a couple of times, and it was all fun and games until…it wasn’t. I had plans with my girlfriends to go to karaoke (we still do that once a month), but he called and wanted to go to his place. Although my girls are important to me, I still canceled and went to see him. After all, people make compromises when they’re in a relationship, right?
Wrong.
My cat died the following week, and I felt like rubbish, so I asked him to come over and spend some time with me until I felt better. Guess what, he had already made plans with his friends so he said he couldn’t come.
Needless to say, that was the last time I called him.
11. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends
Do me a favor and ask yourself those questions.
Do you always hang out just the two of you? At his place, late at night, when there is nobody else? Have you met his friend group yet? Do they even know you’re dating? When he goes on the phone, does he say that he is with you, or does he say that he’s doing nothing?
I know that’s a lot of questions, but you know where I’m going with them. If he doesn’t want you to meet his friends, then he probably doesn’t have serious intentions about you.
12. He doesn’t want to meet your friends
The same goes the other way around. If he gets awkward every time you mention the possibility of him meeting any of your friends, then he probably doesn’t think you’ll last long.
A guy I was dating last year didn’t even show up at my birthday party because my cousins and best friends were there. “I don’t know those people; it’ll just be awkward,” he said. He broke up with me the next day.
13. You Initiate Every Conversation
Are you talking to somebody now? And you have these amazing long conversations that you just love? But do you always initiate them? Are you the one that offers new topics for discussion? If the answer is yes, I have some bad news for you. If the guy is interested, he will find every way to keep the conversation going; he will contact you first every chance he gets.
A simple good morning text doesn’t hurt him. And if he’s really into you, you’ll receive one of those on a daily basis. Don’t settle for anything less than that!
14. You Are Tired and Mentally Exhausted
Sometimes when you’re dating a guy and it’s going seemingly well, but then you come home, and you just feel so tired and exhausted. Well. I hate to burst your bubble, but he’s not good news.
If you don’t feel well after you’ve hung out with him, then you should trust that intuition. Women are extremely perceptive, and our bodies catch on to things that our minds don’t. If he makes you feel like crap every time you see him, he’s not worth your time.
15. He’s unreliable
A few years back, when I was moving out of my apartment, I needed to pick a few things from the local Home Depot. I didn’t have a car at the moment, and I asked my boyfriend at the time to help me with transferring some things to my new place. He said that he’s been out all night partying and that he feels too tired to go out, so he basically left me, a 5’4 feet girl, to carry a mattress by myself on the bus.
If you can’t count on him, and if he’s unreliable, then he’s probably no longer interested in you.
Conclusion on Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You
Whether it’s because he completely ignores you and your feelings, or because he is never around when you need him, the fact is – he doesn’t want you as his girlfriend. What does he want? Someone to bother when he’s bored and someone who is going to open their doors (and something extra) for him when needed.
However, you don’t need him and you don’t need a relationship like that. If your goal is building a healthy relationship with a good guy – he isn’t the one. End things asap and enjoy your life without having him as a regret.
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15 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You
Blogger, dreamer, procrastinator, and lover of everything soul-touching. My mission is to make you laugh, provoke your thoughts, light up your day and inspire you to fall in love with life and yourself.
