How To Make a Man Value You in 4 Easy Steps

It’s not that he disrespects you, and it’s not like he doesn’t care. Yet, you a sure something isn’t right with your relationship and you are also sure he doesn’t see your worth. In this post, I will show you how to make a man value you in 4 effortless steps.

The Story

Let me tell you a story and imagine you’re the main character. So here’s the scenario.

You have a crush on your co-worker; let’s call him Brandon. You’ve had a thing for him since your first day at the office. He’s everything you want in a guy – funny, handsome, successful, and with a genuinely nice personality. 

You go on a few dates with Brandon, turns out he feels the same way about you, and by the time you’ve had the chance to think it through, you’re in a relationship. 

“Finally, a guy that I deserve!” you think to yourself. “After all the heartbreak and suffering, I found my soulmate at last!”

And it’s true. You get along pretty well. In the beginning, you take it slow, but you quickly realize that you don’t want to waste any time. So you move in with Brandon after six months of being together. 

You get a dog together, and you name it after your favorite video game character. You meet his parents who live all the way across the state, and (surprisingly enough) he gets along with your slightly weird gothic sister. 

It’s going great! He treats you well, and he’s also emotionally available (which is something you never experienced with a guy). 

But something seems…off.

That Moment When You See The Signs He Doesn’t Value You

Regardless of the fact that you share similar beliefs, often, when you try to talk to him about something that you don’t feel comfortable about, he undermines it. 

Here’s an example – you hate nightclubs, but you’re okay with Brandon going every now and then with his friends. However, it’s your birthday this week, and you want to spend it with your closest people in your favorite Italian restaurant. But Brandon disagrees. According to him, your birthday celebration plan is boring, and he won’t have fun so he thinks you should all go to the club. 

You have a fight about it, and it seems like he apologized, but you feel that he’s not genuine with his apology. 

But it’s just a small fight, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, right? 

Well, yes, but that’s not the only thing that’s disturbing you. You’ve noticed that he doesn’t stand up for you on several occasions, and he doesn’t take your side when he could easily do so. He rarely picks up the phone when you call, but according to him, he’s like that with everyone. There was also this one time when he had the audacity to make fun of you in front of his friends!

Hm, I guess he wasn’t treating you that well, was he?

You’ve always known that he’s not perfect, and you chose to ignore those red flags. However, now that things are getting really serious, you’re starting to doubt your decision. 

But what does it mean? Why is he behaving that way? Is he also having doubts about your relationship, or is he just a crappy person? 

The answer is much more straightforward than that – he just doesn’t value you.

By now, you’ve probably figured out that this is not a hypothetical story. This is my tragic experience with the longest relationship of my life. 

(Spoiler alert) I’m not with Brandon anymore, BUT thanks to that experience, I can now teach you the philosophy of how to make a man value you. Pay attention because I have some juicy insights to share with you. 

So if you’re in a similar situation or if you’re trying to help a friend with their relationship, then keep reading. Here’s my guide on how to make a man value you.

Step 1 – Value yourself first 

I repeat – value yourself first.

For the longest time, I preferred to stay silent rather than let Brandon know that he took me for granted. 

My self-confidence was super low at that time, and I didn’t really have a sense of self-worth either. I undermined myself, which let Brandon easily undermind me as well. He was basically mirroring my attitude toward my own self.

The solution? Realize your own value and start projecting that behavior on him. 

You know you’re an intelligent, beautiful, lovable, caring woman, and any guy would be lucky to have you. So start acting like it!

Step 2 – Start saying ‘no’

Now that you’ve realized that you’re a strong and powerful woman who has control over her own faith, you need to learn how to say “no”. He should know that you’re not always available for whatever he has in mind. 

Sometimes you’re not in the mood for watching the new Marvel movie, and you prefer catching up on Grace and Frankie. He should respect that. But he will only respect that if you let him know your preference. 

After work, he got home, and he’s hungry, so he wants you to start making dinner earlier? Guess what; you’re also tired, so no, you’re not making dinner; you’re ordering a takeaway.

You planned to go to the mountains for the weekend, but he suddenly decided that he prefers to visit his mom although you’ll see her the following week? Tell him that it isn’t happening and you prefer to stick to your initial plan. 

If you say “yes” to all these things, he will take you for granted, which is exactly what happened between Brandon and me.

Step 3 – Sit! Paw! Turn around! Good boy. 

Okay, maybe you don’t have any trouble with self-confidence, and you know how to say “no”. But that doesn’t always help. He still takes you for granted. Now what? 

If you haven’t figured it out already, men are much simpler than they appear to be. I know it sounds a bit harsh, but guys are like dogs – you should train them into checking in on you, and if they’re doing good, treat them. 

Does he call you during his lunch break? That’s nice; get him his favorite snack.

He didn’t walk the dog, although you specifically said you have to leave for an early morning meeting, so you can’t do it? Bad boy! Express your disappointment and tell him that you’re upset.

All jokes aside, if you want him to value you, you need to teach him how to do it. Make him work for it.

Step 4 – Be honest with him 

Honesty is the driving wheel of a healthy relationship. My problem with Brandon was that I didn’t make it absolutely clear when something was bothering me. If you notice even the slightest red flag, don’t ignore it. 

Now, I’m not saying you should make a problem out of every situation. I’m simply suggesting that you have to address it from the very beginning. 

When there’s something you disapprove of, regardless if it’s something he said or did, don’t stay silent. Talk to him about it. Let him know how this makes you feel. By being honest with him, you also provoke him to do the same in return. 

Okay ladies, now you know the secret to how to make him appreciate you. Understanding men has never been complicated, but you need to take action. After all, we’re the driving force, and men need guidance. 

Conclusion

Which one of the points above resonated the most with you? Maybe the first one? To be honest, it usually is. It all starts with valuing yourself more than you do right now because, at that very moment when you realize and accept your true worth, you get to the point of not taking anyone’s mistreatment. This is the very same moment when you find you wish to be surrounded by people who see you as who you are, and that’s exactly where you wish to stay.

If you wish to take the extra step and make your man value you, I also have a simple video for you to see. It will teach exactly what men want to see in a woman (spoiler alert: the things from above and something extra). Click here to see it and solve your relationship problem.

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How To Make A Man Value You