Okay, I know what’s on your mind. Coming up with a list of 50 things that are unattractive about men is seriously feministic… yet, it isn’t.
Before I put together this long list, I thought it wouldn’t be fair to make it too long because women aren’t saints either. But then I thought… Why would I minimize the truth to avoid hurting someone’s feelings?
This isn’t a post about what makes a man unattractive, but a post about what type of men exist out there that damage the reputation of the really great guys.
Be open-minded while reading this because some things might make you cringe, and others might anger you. Yet, trust me, women created this list, so knowing what makes you less attractive will give you an instant advantage in relationships.
Regardless of who’s reading this, I know two things will happen:
- Women will read and nod on each point, then maybe add a bit more in the comment section below.
- Men will read and be skeptic about it, even though they wouldn’t accept most of the same things in a woman either.
Ready? Here are 50 things women claim to be unattractive in a man.
What Makes a Man Unattractive? Apparently These 50 Things!
1. A man is unattractive when he has no ambition.
There I said it. Working hard with the idea of paying the bills and barely meeting the ends is okay in the 20s. However, at no point, a person (both men and women) should give up on striving for what he believes he deserves. Lack of ambition has been my number one reason to end at least half of my previous relationships, and I know that’s the truth for most of the women around me too.
2. No courage.
Call it as you wish, but women love it when the man by their side has the courage to.. well, do most of the things. It takes courage to ask a woman out on a date; it takes courage to initiate the first kiss, to pick the next place for dinner, to walk her by her house when it’s dark, to offer help when you see she needs it, to open up your heart for her. It takes courage to love and allow to be loved, to communicate your feelings, to chase your dreams, to never settle for less, to stand behind your word, and … so many other things.
Being courageous is attractive on any level.
3. No self-respect.
I wouldn’t dig too deep into this as it simply sounds logical. No man would look at a woman twice if she had no self-respect. This goes both ways.
4. Being negative all the time.
I will touch on that once again later, but negativity is tiring, depressing, and not fun. A woman wants her man to be able to lift her when she’s down, not to sit next to her and help her dig deeper.
5. Being disrespectful to your mother/sister or any other woman in their lives.
Here’s a secret you might want to know. A woman knows how you will treat her by the way you treat your mom and your sister. And if you want to see how a woman would treat you, pay attention to the relationship she had with her father and brothers.
6. You don’t keep in touch with your children.
If you have children with another woman and pay zero attention to them, if you don’t care about their wellbeing and don’t do your best to provide them with whatever they need… you just become the most unattractive man ever.
7. Being possessive.
This one sounds more dangerous than unattractive. Being protective and being possessive are two different things. A woman isn’t “yours”; she is “with you”. She has the right to say yes and the right to say no. She can do things on her own, and you shouldn’t mind. Spending her time with you is a matter of choice, not an obligation. And trust me, it all goes both ways.
8. Lack of responsibility.
Being with an irresponsible man is painful; I speak from experience. If you constantly change opinions, miss appointments and nothing ever is your fault… you are avoiding taking responsibility for your life. And that’s really unattractive in women’s eyes.
9. Lack of empathy.
When she’s crying her eyes out over something “insignificant” (in your opinion), and you just stare at her or leave the room and tell her to “sort herself” before coming to you… that’s a lack of empathy. And it’s terrible. It’s ugly. And in fact, it’s a dealbreaker.
10. A cheater.
I won’t even comment on this one.
A man is unattractive when…
11. … he needs to impress.
At some point in a woman’s life, she gets to the conclusion that words aren’t stronger than actions, and a man who’s trying to impress and show off is actually unattractive.
12. … he lectures all the time.
Yep, I put this one next to the “nagging” women often get associated with. Both are evenly big turn-offs.
13. … he’s playing the victim all the time.
When nothing is your fault, and everyone hates you and spends their time plotting against you… you are the problem. If you often play the victim and search for outer reasons to explain your internal problems, it might be time to ask yourself if you will take control over your life or life will take control over you.
14. … he doesn’t respect woman’s No.
You know that’s wrong. But I am not talking about “that” No only. I am talking about the times when she says she doesn’t want to go out on Friday evening with your friends, but she doesn’t mind if you go by yourself. She says No, and you get mad instead of respecting it.
Disrespecting her No can happen on so many levels that you might not even realize you do it. Trying to convince her for a minute or two is fine. Not giving up until she says Yes is just a form of abuse.
15. … he is arrogant.
An arrogant man is never attractive, and I know that many women actually go after that type of “bad boy”, but trust me, a self-respecting woman wouldn’t give you a second chance if you’ve been arrogant with her.
16. … he has bad manners.
Yes, often, what’s unattractive in a man is actually the small things. It’s the loud chewing, unwashed hands after visiting the bathroom, starting to eat before everyone else sits on the table, respecting someone’s personal space, and more. Now, this isn’t a dealbreaker, but you better be an A-grader on the other points.
17. … he is self-centered.
That’s just immature.
18. … he is lazy.
Many women point this one out as a huge turn-off in a man. I would add that if you are lazy at home, but work hard, treat her right and love her unconditionally, you could get away with this one.
19. … he doesn’t pay the bills or anything else in the house.
Once we turn 18, in most cases, it’s time to learn how to look after ourselves, mainly financially. This point could have a few exceptions, but the overall idea stays: learn to look after yourself financially.
20. … he can’t protect his significant other.
I think that most men would nod on this one, and it’s just because it is man’s nature to be protective over his partner.
Distrurbing and unattractive things about a man
21. He doesn’t put his family first.
Friends come and go. Your wife and life partner is one and only. Putting your family first regardless of the situation is what differentiates a good man from a boy.
22. He has unhealthy addictions.
Nothing excessive is good. Be it smoking, drinking, or using substances; these are just one of the no-nos that could make you unattractive.
23. He has poor grooming habits.
Eww, shall I say more about this? The most shocking part is that so many women are pointing this one out. Is it so hard to keep yourself clean?
24. He says he doesn’t like to argue but starts the fight more than half of the time.
When you say you don’t like arguing, but you initiate most of the fights in the house… that’s just not nice.
25. He is badmouthing his ex.
Guess what! When a woman hears you talking about how bad your ex was, she instantly starts wondering if she won’t be the next villain in your life.
26. He is aggressive.
You know this should be a big red flag, but when a guy is aggressive, the only way out is… out of the relationship asap.
27. He is mean to animals.
Nothing says more about a person than when dealing with animals. And I am not talking about that huge spider above the bedroom that just needs to be removed, but about any animal in general. Not tolerating an animal is one thing, but openly hating and mistreating them is a red flag.
28. He is inconsistent.
So, can she trust you or not? Being inconsistent is a sure sign she will never know if you will go through with whatever you promise. It is a huge turn-off for women; it’s disturbing and makes her feel like she is the only adult in the relationship.
29. He still lives with his mom.
I know that this might be a bit controversial, but when you are over 25 and still live with your mom, there are just a few good reasons I would accept. High rents and having someone to wash your clothes aren’t acceptable.
30. He doesn’t know how to change a tire.
I can’t change a tire. I’ve seen my partner do it many times; I can recall the process in my mind, yet, I truly hope I never have actually to do it. But I think that every man (especially if he has a driving license) must know how to do that. Car maintenance is also one of the things I’d rather never have to deal with. Call it double standards if you wish; that’s a personal opinion.
Things that makes a man instantly unattractive
31. Wrinkled clothing.
Don’t laugh! Wrinkled clothing is one of those seemingly meaningless things that actually say a lot about a person. When you can’t even take a few minutes to iron your shirt before your date, going for a nice t-shirt and jeans is more acceptable than showing up and looking like you were on a spin mode in the washing machine until two minutes ago.
32. Being controlling.
You are aware that’s wrong. And you must know that most women are with open eyes and ears at the beginning of the relationship, trying to detect if you are being over-controlling or just protective.
33. Too clingy
This one is usually said for women, but I’ve dated guys who proved this to be valid for men too. Being attached to her like a puppy to its mom is fun just for a few days. Then it becomes annoying.
34. No sense of humor
A woman can fall in love with any guy as long that guy makes her laugh. Remember this one.
35. Bad grammar.
I smiled at that one, but it truly speaks volumes when trying to estimate one’s cultural level. Not knowing the difference between “there”, “their” and “they’re” is just mocking-worthy (sorry, not sorry). The same goes for “your” and “you’re”.
36. When you don’t tip the waitress.
Yes, she is just doing her job, but it is one of the most stressful and ungrateful jobs, and she’s been on her feet for the last seven hours, yet she smiled and did her best to make you happy. Tipping the waiters/waitresses is a must unless they’ve been intentionally rude to you.
37. Lack of communication
This one was supposed to be way up, but if you are still reading, here’s the thing. Women love love love propper communication of your feelings, regardless of how hard that might seem. And you know what? If you communicate your emotions and she disrespects them, that speaks more about her.
38. No driving license
I put this one here because so many women claim it unattractive. And I understand it. Here’s why (you are allowed to be skeptical and laugh, but that’s just what’s happening in a woman’s mind)!
She wants to know that she isn’t the only one responsible for getting from point A to point B. And she just might like being on the passenger seat from time to time and not having to take responsibility for yet another thing.
39. Uncontrolled temper.
Yep, this sounds dangerous, isn’t it?
We all have moments of rage, the anger we barely try to contain, moments of annoyance, and the urge to let our emotions burst. Yet, that doesn’t mean we should do all that. And a man who doesn’t know how to control himself is actually dangerous to be around.
40. Emotionally immature
Another point that should’ve been higher on this list, but oh well. Being emotionally mature means that you know where you stand in your life and in hers. It means you are honest with where things are going, even if that means they’re going nowhere.
Last points of things that make a man unattractive
41. Men with negative values
I will put the good old “women should serve men” as an example of negative values. No one is entitled to do anything for someone else. And even if you can’t cook, that doesn’t mean she has to do it 100% of the time. And the word “can’t” is wrong because it speaks of “I don’t want to learn”. If you know how to drive, play video games, and/or hang on social media for hours, that means it’s a matter of “don’t want” not “can’t”.
42. Cursing isn’t attractive
We all curse. I do it, too, especially in traffic or when hitting my toes on the corners of the bed. Yet, that doesn’t mean that inserting curses every two and a half words is acceptable.
43. When you don’t know much about music, politics, or anything else.
Having a decent conversation on a subject different than her problems is actually refreshing for both of you. However, knowing nothing about the world’s situation and being unable to put together a few sentences on any other topic but cars and women… is unattractive.
43. Entitling yourself to her just because you did something good for her
This one goes for when you are still trying to convince her to go out with you. Don’t take it personally; not every man is doing it. But some males think that the fact they changed the tire of her car is enough for her to say yes to a date. No, she isn’t. She isn’t entitled to do anything regardless of how many “good deeds” he does for her.
44. When you have to be right about everything
We get it; the urge to prove ourselves right on any topic is an ego fight for all of us. But the responsibility to know when to admit your mistakes is more precious than gold in a relationship. Men who tend to believe they are always right regardless of the topic are hard to live with, and that behavior would turn most women off.
45. The way you treat those who cannot benefit you
In fact, this is valid for absolutely everyone, regardless of gender. Treating those who can’t benefit you with disrespect and arrogance makes you look like a bad person (I’m being polite here). Also, it is something most women notice very early in the relationship.
I could’ve put this one on the same scale with the bad manners. But it is so disgusting that it deserves its own place. Just don’t do it. It can never look good nor manly.
47. Being really loud for no reason
Now, this is not a dealbreaker, but walking in the park with a man who shouts instead of talking doesn’t promise a nice experience and would make most women feel uncomfortable.
48. Being pushy
I blame the romance novels for this one. In most of them, it sounds totally okay for a guy to push himself into a woman’s mind even if she’s obviously trying to figure her life out. However, in real life, that’s fun for exactly ten seconds. On the eleventh second, you’ve crossed some personal boundaries, and that’s disrespectful.
49. Showing off with his money
Insisting to pay for the dinner is great. Bragging about how many times a week you can afford to eat out is simply a turn-off for any ordinary woman. The ladies who get impressed by those facts might not be searching for the same fulfilling relationship as you do.
50. A walking pity party
We all have problems, and we all experience hard times. Each one of us has a path to walk and reasons to cry at night. But life isn’t all about that. Sorrows might come uninvited, but positivity has to be present regardless. A man who is a walking pity party, always anxious and unhappy about his life, is simply a burden to be with. Don’t be that guy!
If you read it all and still aren’t searching for my email address to tell me how horrible I am, thank you! I hope you took it all with an open mind and didn’t identify with every single point. This post wasn’t a confirmation for my mission to bash on men, and I know that many great guys might have one or two of these traits I listed above. Still, trying their best (just as we, women, do) is admirable, and that’s what makes women stick around them.
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50 Things About Man That Are Super Unattractive
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